You Hurt My Feelings

Write about what you know. That's the advice Beth (Julie Louis-Dreyfuss) dispenses to her writing students. It's also pretty much the path Writer-Director Nicole Holofcener has followed in her six feature films. Her stories center on urban upper middle class professionals.

Beth is an author who's latest novel hasn't sold yet and it's causing her some stress. Her husband, Don (Tobias Menzies), is a therapist who is also having some career doubts. They have a son (Owen Teague) who wants to be a playwright. Beth's sister, Sarah (Michaela Watkins), is an interior decorator who is becoming disenchanted with her work. Her husband Mark (Arian Moayed) is struggling actor. Plenty of first world angst to go around.

Holofcener and her cast are good enough to overcome some of the familiar tropes here and the theme of how to tread the line between honesty and (hurting one's) feelings is decently explored. David Cross and Amber Tamblyn as a passive aggressive couple in Don's care are terrific scene stealers. What's missing here is true bite. There's never a sense of either urgency or sharp insights. One never feels that any of the interlocking relationships are truly in peril. A hug, a kiss, or a hit of edible marijuana and all will be fine.

YOU HURT MY FEELINGS is a pleasant enough little movie, but, it's the epitome of a 'dramedy'- it falls just short of either of it's components.

This is indeed a movie about feelings - the small stuff that feels huge, the little insecurities that loom large, the daily omissions that's pile up into dishonesty. And the thing is: every moment feels real enough to be recognizable and hilarious (and uncomfortable) all at once. And that's not just because I'm a middle aged guy who wants to be a writer and is scared to death his story/stories suck. This film felt relatable less because the circumstances mirrored my own and more because I'm a self conscious human. And my guess is we all are. This may not be a laugh at loud comedy, but it is about as relatable add it gets.

The issue of how we, if not lie, fib to our loved ones in order to either spare their feelings or be supportive. And the consequences of that well-intentioned lack of honesty are thoughtfully dramatized, as are the family dynamics between spouses, parents and children, and siblings. But even at a short (by today's standards) 90 minutes, the movie feels overlong, and while there is an occasional laugh, the entertainment quotient is disappointingly low given the talents of the parties involved. Bottom line: a worthwhile watch if one's expectations are very measured. And much more of a family drama than a comedy.

Sometimes it is good to go out on a date, and watch a movie that will not change the course of the night. It is neither hilarious or boring, just an interesting story that can happen to all of us, when we try to please our partner.

The cast is good, Julia Louis-Dreyfus can be funny without forcing it, so the movie flows well. The movie is flat, but not in a bad way, it is a good entertainment and goes fast, but you probably won't cry or burst out laughing. It is just a good movie, where you probably arrive and leave in a same state of mind, in peace.

There are some clever jokes, and some reflection about our own behavior, but nothing too deep.

Enjoy, without big expectations, just a good entertainment.

It was hard to figure out what exactly the takeaways were from this casually paced 2023 comedy, but director/screenwriter Nicole Holofcener appears to prefer it that way because she has a uniquely ramshackle way of depicting the messiness of life through her comically flawed characters. The meandering plot focuses on a tightly knit group of upscale Manhattan narcissists basking in a culture of positivity only to fall apart when each is confronted with honesty. That's what happened to the central couple when Beth, a marginally successful novelist, finds out her failing therapist husband Don hates her latest book draft but doesn't have the temerity to tell her. Julia Louis-Dreyfus starred in Holofcener's superior "Enough Said" and plays the novelist here with her trademark wit intact. The rest of the expert cast perform in a typical Woody Allen-like deadpan manner including Jeannie Berlin as Beth's irascible mother and Michaela Watkins (she reminds me of Kathryn Hahn) as Beth's acerbically evasive decorator sister.