Here for Blood

A pro wrestler who fills in for his girlfriend at a babysitting job defends his charge from an evil cult.

It turns out I've seen Shawn Roberts in some stuff, but the name didn't mean anything to me. He was one of the guys who got killed off a bit early in Land of the Dead, which is a pretty awesome job on a resume but not all that memorable. However, he was great here, and I'll probably remember his name now.

This is a splatter comedy full of cheesy lines and gore sfx. I'm not really sure I liked anyone but Roberts and the kid he was babysitting, played by Maya Misaljevic. The scenes between them were great. When other characters intruded, the movie often got a bit dumb.

The bad guys are played with extra camp. Roberts' reactions to them were funny, but I didn't find the bad guys themselves all that funny. I think part of the problem was the writing and directing. The bigger, musclebound guys had some presence and made for appropriate challenges for Roberts, though.

That led to some pretty decent fight choreography, and the fights could get pretty brutal. If you don't like gore, you might want to skip this movie, though it's played for laughs. There are constant geysers of blood, which got a bit silly, but I guess that's unavoidable in a 90s horror homage.

I didn't really feel that all the characters were able to satisfactorily justify their existence. However, Roberts was able to keep things pretty fun, and having lots of characters around meant that the body count could keep piling up. If that's all you really need to enjoy a movie, I'd say this is a good watch.

If you like movies like Dead Alive, Botched, and Evil Dead, it's worth a look.

Babysitting, how hard could it be? Find out when pro wrestler Tom fills in on a babysitting job so that his girlfriend, Phoebe, has a chance to study for an exam.

Tom expects a pretty chill evening babysitting Grace. They order pizza and play some video games. Right before Grace's bedtime two intruders enter the house. They just want the girl, but Tom isn't going to let that happen.

Tom and Grace must fight off members of an evil cult. Phoebe and some friends join in on the unexpected fun as the battle the cult members in gory, comedic fashion.

I had never heard of "Here for Blood" prior to viewing it. I was pleasantly surprised.

Rocker Dee Snider of Twisted Sister is the voice of the head.

Sitting down to watch the 2022 comedy horror movie "Here for Blood" here in 2024 without ever having heard about it, I have to admit that I wasn't sure what I was in for. But with it being a horror comedy that I hadn't already seen, and my love of the horror genre, of course I had to give the movie a fair chance.

The storyline, written by James Roberts, is a pretty straightforward one. However, I have to say that it wasn't a particularly impressive storyline, and it was rather devoid of comedy, making it a weak horror comedy. I am sure that newcomers to the horror genre might enjoy "Here for Blood", but as a life-long horror fan, I have to say that writer James Roberts just didn't dazzle me with this script.

The movie starts out as a rather generic home-invasion movie, but takes a rather unexpected turn about halfway through, for better or worse.

I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, which was good, as I do like watching unfamiliar faces and talents on the screen. And the acting performances in "Here for Blood" were adequate. Nothing outstanding or overly memorable, mind you, but definitely adequate for a movie of this caliber.

The effects in the movie were good, and I did like the gore effects and the glowing eyes, those looked really great. And there was actually enough gore and visceral mayhem to keep an old gorehound like myself content, and that was definitely something that spoke well in favor of the movie and helped keeping it afloat.

While "Here for Blood" was watchable, it wasn't exactly a movie that tickled me the right places.

My rating of "Here for Blood" lands on a five out of ten stars.

I thought this film was quite well done for not being a big blockbuster. You know how professional wrestling sets up a physical conflict between bruisers and play acts the whole thing? That's kind of what we end up with here, as the lead character is supposed to be a wrestler, and some of the cult members attacking him are big muscular guys with outfits and masks. Same basic idea, but with knives and other instruments tossed in occasionally. And it's clearly planned this way, because if you think about the plot as is, it really makes no sense for the cultists to be extravagantly dressed athletes. Just go with it. Add in normal people in peril, a girlfriend with that fun Canadian twang where she says her owwws as ewwws (like when she talks "aboot" something), lots of gore, a wise beyond her years kid, some cheesy jokes, a screaming decapitated head and some occult mumbo jumbo, and now you're talking. Something about the every guy fighting off supernatural attackers while cracking lame jokes appeals to me, and it seems a lot more natural when it's a big guy who can take the hits instead of the typical scrawny (and, for some reason I don't understand, usually sexist) kid you're used to seeing in these movies. While this is not the best at any one thing, it has a fair amount of everything. Well, OK, fair warning, I guess not nudity, if that's a dealbreaker for you. But probably everything else you'd want out of a horror comedy is here.

In need of some extra money, a down-on-his-luck wrestler agrees to babysit his girlfriends' younger sister for the night while she studies for an upcoming exam, but when a deadly cult descends upon the house looking for blood he must put his fighting skills to the test to save everyone he cares for.

There's quite a lot to like with this feature. Among the brighter spots here is the film's wildly imaginative setup that provides this with a great opportunity for fun throughout. The main concept of him getting dragged into the babysitting gig is quite fun, making quite heavy use of the concept of him being a male trying to go through the act of babysitting a young girl. This gets brought up throughout the course of the film as his muscle-headed style and good-natured sense of duty conflicts with their more natural sense that try to explain what's going on as the situation spirals out of control involving the purpose behind the cult's appearance at the house and what they're actually doing there. It's all given a great comedic bent with the reactions, one-liners, and over-the-top nature of everything which all sets the film in motion rather well. This setup provides the kind of baseline starting point where the fun of the home invasion produces no shortage of high-energy confrontations. With that comedic bent still in full effect, the confrontations here with the initial members of the cult trying to sneak inside and take her without conflict but get interrupted by the wrestler putting his moves to the test in defending her. This continues with the added bodies being added to the fray as his friends arrive looking to end the night there and get drawn into the mix and then the parents that bring about all kinds of fun here with the series of twists they bring about which not only generates a slew of highly effective gore scenes for the numerous kills but also keeps the film going along as such a frenetic clip that it comes together incredibly well for a lot to like. There isn't much to dislike here but it does have some minor drawbacks. The main factor against the film is that it tends to introduce a few too many elements than it needs to for the type of story this is trying to be. The whole idea of the cult trying to gain immortality through the sacrifice is fine enough, but to constantly try to bring about the importance of the situation with a wise-cracking hero featuring supernatural healing powers just as much as the supernatural regeneration powers of the cult that tends to feel somewhat unnecessary. As well, with the film's heavy focus on the comedic touches not just in the reactions and quips being offered, some of them come off as being scripted rather than being genuine in-the-moment comments so the lessened tension isn't there at the wrong moments. These slight issues are all that keep it down.

Rated Unrated/R: Extreme Graphic Violence, Graphic Language, and children-in-jeopardy.