Dinoshark

The title promises some good kitschy schlock fun, and the film delivers it. A prehistoric beast that once roamed primeval waters is back, and very hungry. It visits Puerto Vallarta to hunt and feast on anything that moves.

The creature is designed pretty well, and it's quite an acrobat. It lunges out of water to chomp on copters and para-sailors. It hangs ten to grab surfers, and jumps over road blocks set up by the local policia. Why it's here is not really explained, but it may have to do with not eating for 65 million years or so; this thing has one dino-appetite. Nobody is safe, and Sharky devours a few people you wouldn't expect. Walk-on characters fare worst of all; appearing just long enough to encounter you-know-who.

A tour-boat guy, a girl scientist who works a menial job, and a big-dino-fish expert are the only ones that bother to do anything about the monster. By the way, the white-coated expert on prehistoric sharks is played by none other than B-movie wizard Roger Corman himself, in a rare turn in front of the camera. And he does a good job in the role, too.

Good action, combined with some cheesy effects, makes for a good ride as our heroes try to stop the ancient creature's hunger rampage. This one is pretty fun to watch.

worst movie eva! do not watch it no matter what! not funny, not scary, retarded acting, i want my 2 hours back! dinoshark stinks, dinoshark is a crime to humanity, dinoshark is straight to bin. repeat! worst movie eva! do not watch it no matter what! not funny, not scary, retarded acting, i want my 2 hours back! dinoshark stinks, dinoshark is a crime to humanity, dinoshark is straight to bin. repeat! worst movie eva! do not watch it no matter what! not funny, not scary, retarded acting, i want my 2 hours back! dinoshark stinks, dinoshark is a crime to humanity, dinoshark is straight to bin. repeat! worst movie eva! do not watch it no matter what! not funny, not scary, retarded acting, i want my 2 hours back! dinoshark stinks, dinoshark is a crime to humanity, dinoshark is straight to bin.

I just saw it at the 6th Annual Puerto Vallarta Film Festival. I went basically because I live in PV and a few friends were possibly going to appear as extras. Given that it was a low-budget made-for-TV movie I was prepared to be disappointed. Instead I was entertained. It's a bit of an homage to "Jaws" in both the shark scenes and the musical score. Even with the bar set that high it still managed to achieve some of the same types of shocked reactions from the audience, while at other times they laughed. I'm not a connoisseur of B-movies but those that are should really get a kick out this film. And it was great to see producer Roger Corman in a cameo role as the marine biologist expert. I had the honor of shaking his hand as we left the theater. The cast was well anchored by Eric Balfour in the lead role. Perhaps this role will lead to bigger and better things for him. And finally it was nice to see a film in a theater, for a change, that had no foul language or gratuitous nudity. Taken in the context of its budget and its intended distribution, this is a pretty darn nice little movie.

I have made no secret about disliking a vast majority of Syfy's output, I find a lot of cheesy effects, terrible acting and forced dialogue complete with the odd bit of novelty value if in the right mood. Dinoshark is not among the worst of their efforts, as the creature is surprisingly adequate in design and the opening sequence sets the film up quite nicely. Plus the locations are quite nice, shame though about the choppy editing. However, apart from the creature the effects are really quite cheesy, the gore especially does look very fake. The film also has a predictable story, which I was expecting actually though on paper it had a somewhat daft but intriguing idea, but it is also a sluggishly paced story complete with scenes that are either useless, scenes that feel more a spoof movie than anything else with a scene reminiscent of one from Megashark vs. Giant Octopus, or completely devoid of suspense. The dialogue is forced and contrived, I agree 100% about the "food made with love" line, which in my mind is one of the most groan-worthy lines ever on film celluloid. The direction is flimsy, and the acting doesn't fare much better especially the lead actress who can't act even if her life depends on it, yes even from Roger Corman, not helped by the fact that none of the characters are compelling, likable or written well. The attack scenes are also badly staged with no build-ups whatsoever, and the music score is little more than a badly done rehash of the likes of Jaws. Overall, it is a terrible movie, but I'll be kind in that Syfy have done much worse. 2/10 Bethany Cox

After a piece of ice thaws near Alaska, the prehistoric dinoshark makes its way to Puerto Vallarta in Mexico to harass the tourists. And, of course, eat them.

The cover on this film is a bit misleading. What you see is a shark with the head of a T-Rex. In the actual film, though, what you get is basically just a shark (albeit one with a rocky, tough skin). And the graphics are just as bad as any other SyFy film.

If this film has anything going for it, that would be Roger Corman as Dr. Frank Reeves. Not that he is a good actor, but it is nice to see a legend like Corman showing his face -- especially since he is the producer of this trash. Lead actor Eric Balfour is just average. I could praise him for past work (the "Texas Chain Saw" reboot), but he was poorly cast here. Playing a Mexican local, he has no Latino blood in him and speaks with a Boston accent (despite being from LA).

Does this film have a global warming message? Hard to say. Clearly the dinoshark arrives because the ice caps are melting, but the film never explicitly states why. Could be man, maybe just an earthquake shook it loose. Either way, the real problem is that a shark survives being frozen for millions of years, not the global climate issue.

Although I thought "Sharktopus" was way over-hyped and poorly made, I have to say it is better than "Dinoshark". This film really has nothing going for it, unless you want to listen to the audio commentary and hear Corman try (and fail) to defend it.