Empress Vampire

I rate movies based on how much I enjoy them, not on their quality; or importance. This movie was unique, clever, and very sexy. It is not an example of greatness - quite the opposite. For example, there was a Christian movie on YouTube, about a high school football player. Since I myself claim to be Christian, then I should have loved the football story, and have been disgusted by this vampire movie. But the football movie was aggressively boring; and this vampire movie was nonstop, total fun. Seen on Tubi, the free streaming site, which now has live TV; and even the World Cup! But wait, this review needs "600 characters"! Or maybe 10,000 maniacs.

This is 100% GARBAGE.

'Amateurish' is to high praise for it. Ailment this terrible works never be in Mystery Science Theater3000 - even those films' makers avidly tried -however ineptly - to seriously make something.

The purpose of this is to lie - even the aforementioned positive reviews are obvious lies.

There's nothing here; no script, nothing close to acting, just bad posing.

You'd be better off taking a hot bath than watching this.

Don't EVER believe such ridiculous positive reviews when your see the majority army just low, but VERY low.

I'm always digging for b-horror movies, it's one of the great things on the world wide web. That said, the filmmakers on the set of "Aleta: Empress Vampire" seemed to have low expectations in the audience they would attract. 10 minutes into this simple yet over explained plot, I felt like an idiot for hitting 'play'. I just thought the idea of mixing some Chinese history into the cliche vampire story could be interesting and if all else failed at least there were boobs ( the boobs were the sole reason I gave it 2 stars instead of 1, judge me if you want but look where you are, why are you reading this?). Writing wise, there was only one moment in the movie, during Aleta's backstory, where I thought 'interesting', the rest I just felt disrespected as an audience member. Here's my list of technical issues I found too distracting to stay focused; the camera man has clearly never watched a movie or tv (nor the director for that matter), most of the special effects were obviously added in post, there were no sound effects just whatever the mic picked up, the fake accents were really bad and completely unnecessary, the acting is pretty much what you would expect...I could go on but I wouldn't want to spoil all the "fun". The things the director seemed to care about didn't make any sense and the things the director should have cared about he didn't at all because the audience will probably be too dumb to notice. I guess the issue is on my side of the screen because I know how the laces in my shoes work and I don't drool when I talk. If they tried to make this funny it could have worked, there were some unintentionally funny moments that made me wish the "filmmakers" didn't take themselves so seriously. I find it hard to believe that everybody behind the camera was proud of this one.

That's my honest opinion, I'm not going to tell you what to do.

Watched on tubiTV, 2019.

I really enjoyed this movie. I knew it was a small-budget Indy, but it far exceeded my expectations! The cinematography was really quite good, and the story was very entertaining.

The star ruled every scene she was in, and what a beauty! Ange Maya is an extremely and unusually attractive woman - an ageless goddess of love. As co-producer and writer, she seems to be well in control. She may one of the most beautiful women in film. She is very sexy, as well, and that truly adds to her role as a seductive and strong Mistress of the Dark! There are several other beauties, but Ange owns this light hearted "horror" film.

Some of the funniest scenes involve law enforcement. If you see it, you will have fun! I gave it a high rating because it was so much fun and because of Ange.

This is what happens when you have a adult movie cast trying to do a movie with a plot. You can tell who was paid extra to go topless and who wasn't. So there's this immortal vampire Empress of China who leads a cult of subordinate vampires. The Secretary of Defense wants to recruit her as a secret agent, but trying to stop him is a Von Helsing (not a Van Helsing, because that would have required someone to do research) and a psychic.

The problem is the lead actress... you can barely understand what she is saying and her voice is kind of goofy... But she was willing to do nude scenes, which is what I suspect the director had in mind.

OH, yes. And musical numbers. It has musical numbers. Need I say more. Fake CGI Blood spurts. Cars driving against green screen backgrounds. The beginning of the movie looks like it was competently made, but then the later parts got cheap and kind of silly. You know, like they ran out of money halfway through.