Basement

I've got now 493 on my list of seen movies over the past few years since I started it (around the end of 2007 and the beginning of 2008) and I've seen some really bad movies. But none bad enough to get a score of 1 on the site! This one's gotta be THE worst movie I've seen in my entire life!

I went on to check it because of Danny Dyer and Jimi Mistry, which are both good underrated actors (specially for making some B movies really good and entertaining). On this particular movie, I haven't seen any kind of acting from any of the actors. Seriously, I would do better, and I've only had 1 year of acting classes.

please, don't do the same as me. DO NOT watch this movie, unless you've got absolutely nothing better to do. and believe me, even burning your house down out of boredom would be something better to do.

If ZERO had been an option on the voting scale I'd have most certainly selected it. As it happens, ONE was the lowest available.

"Basement" has one merit and that's that it made me sign up for IMDb so that I could share with the world what an abysmal waste of time and money this film is.

What is unbelievable is the idea that someone, somewhere, thought that this thing could be viable for production and that nobody along the way was honest enough to tell the director, the producers or whoever that perhaps jacking it in would have been more dignified.

There's no danger of a spoiler because this film is about nothing. In theory the premises are interesting, not miles away from The Hole. A group of people are lost in the woods and end up in a dark and creepy basement. "Wow" you'd think, "Great!". No it isn't. This is where it all ends. The rest is some sort of tedious, repetitive, shallow, unengaging and inconsequential bilge. It goes nowhere. It says nothing. It's not even dumb. I guess it's the closest a film ever got to representing the concept of nothingness which, in a way, is actually an achievement.

Oh, and by the way, the acting is the worst ever. By far. Times ten.

"Basement" is like a Year-9 project carried out by a group of kids messing about with some recording equipment. Except worse.

This film, it has to be said, is not one of the best movies I've ever seen. Having said that, there are a hell of a lot out there that are worse in every respect. Danny Dyer's acting skills are on par with his usual ability and are pretty well matched by the acting prowess of the rest of the cast. All suffer with the usual, overused problem of being characters who don't deserve us caring about them. There is one character who is so thoroughly obnoxious that I at least thought his death came way too late. The setting is quite effective in creating a sense of claustrophobia, being one narrow tunnel after another. The mystery of the killings and who is stalking the group is somewhat weak to say the least, as is the manner in which they arrive in the titular Basement. As long as you don't go into watching this film expecting to see something amazing, you wont be disappointed. It will leave you with questions that are not answered but to be honest you wont lose any sleep over it.

Last time I saw Danny Dyer was in The Business, which was an entertaining movie, so when I saw he was in a new film called Basement, I thought "Why not?" Had I know what was in front of me, I would say "Why bother?!"

Anyway, a complete waste of time is putting it mildly. Scooping my eyeballs out with sharpened ice cream scoops and then filling the gaping sockets with rock salt would have been preferable to watching this utter bilge. Dire script - really, REALLY dire, lamentable acting - I'd love to have been there at the auditions - how did the actors keep their faces straight? It was utterly terrible from the word go. Well, not strictly true as it's pretty difficult to screw up a set of film titles. Bizarrely I submitted myself to the ultimate torture and stayed to watch 'til the end, in the faint and getting fainter (like my will to live) by the minute hope that it would get better, or maybe had a killer payoff - which is doesn't.

I started watching this film sitting upright on the couch, and as the penance wore on, I slumped down to a position that left me looking and feeling like I'd spent 5 hours being sat on by overweight feminists after turning up at a women's lib demonstration with a sigh that read "Iron My Shirts!".

Seriously though, what was Danny Dyer thinking? Was he behind on the rent when he signed up for this trash? Jimmy Mistry should have known better too. I mean, do they actually read the scripts before signing on the dotted line?

Actually, scratch that because if you're unfortunate enough to sit through this garbage, then you very quickly come to the conclusion that they were reading the script for the first time on the toilet, on day one of filming!

A friend of mine's wife says that I always manage to find something positive to say about most movies, even the bad ones, but this is a definite first for me in that I can find nothing positive whatsoever to say about it. It's really, truly awful. Bad (terrible!) acting, laughable script, and very poor direction. No redeeming qualities whatsoever.

What makes it even worse, is that they've had the cheek to release it on the vastly over-priced Blu-Ray as well!!!!

Arrrgh!

Basement is one of those horror movies where it uses very little blood and gore and uses the atmosphere and the situation to scare you, unfortunately for this movie, it fails to do it's job. Danny Dyer and Jimi Mistry star in Basement, which is about a group of anti-war protesters driving home after a demo. They decide to use a route through the woods to which Danny Dyer's character, Gary, conveniently needs to go to the toilet and so the group stops. While he goes to do his business, they get out of the car and stretch their legs and walk around the woods only to find an underground chamber. Now the group are trapped in this underground basement with the exit sealed and no way out, what's more is that there's something down there trying to kill them. As much as I really want to say something good about Basement, I just can't do it. The movie started okay and the pacing was good, we're introduced to the main characters of the movie and we learn a little about them (which is hardly anything) and then they find the underground hatch and that's where everything goes wrong. When they locked the characters in the hatch, they also forgot to lock in the story, the plot, the script and everything else. The main problem with Basement is that the plot was very stretched, adding pointless scenes to the movie and actually making the runtime of 95 minutes a problem as it was too long. There were quite a few scenes that were unnecessary, it didn't set the creepy atmosphere that the movie was supposed to do either and you could have easily cut half an hour out of the movie and not miss anything. The acting is quite bad and their performances weren't believable at all except for Danny Dyer, who's the only believable actor in the cast as he plays himself, which is usual in most movies Danny Dyer stars in and his acting is still dire. The rest of the cast had the same problem, there were no performances that really stood out in your mind. The movie is just bad on so many levels.

The problem with Basement is almost everything. The story was quite confusing, almost non-existent and quite stupid at times and the ending is possibly the most ridiculous thing about the movie. Also, the movie became boring and confusing as the movie went on. The characters had nothing to them, they were uninteresting, boring and they had no personality and definitely could have been written much better. This is supposed to be a horror movie and yet there's absolutely nothing remotely scary or creepy about it. The only thing I do like about Basement is that it doesn't use a lot of blood and gore to scare you but it tries to use that claustrophobic feeling but it's a shame that it didn't work. This movie had loads of potential and it could have been next to the likes of The Descent if the movie was done well but I think Basement would have been a little bit better if it was a short film.

Basement is the worst UK horror movie I've seen this year, without a doubt. There was literally no plot, no direction, no story, no character development, and no appeal…almost absolutely nothing. There's not even one memorable scene or performance, the whole movie was just bad. Danny Dyer proved that he could be a good actor as he did a very good performance in Malice in Wonderland but he was quite bad in Basement and it's frustrating to see, let's hope he can choose a better movie in the future. Overall, Basement is quite a poor attempt to try and scare you and it's also a poor attempt at making a movie. I'm actually stuck, as I don't know who would like this movie, I can't really see anybody liking this as most people would probably be disappointed. If you want a good suggestion, skip this and watch The Hole, which is basically similar to Basement.

Read more reviews at: www.dudedazzmoviereviews.wordpress.com