The Retirement Plan

This is where actors go to die. Movies where the story, the plot, the directing, the editing and, yes, the acting are boringly bad.

Remember Rorschach from Watchmen? Remember Ben Sanderson from Leaving Las Vegas or Stanley Goodspeed from The Rock? Remember Salvatore from The Name of the Rose or Hellboy? Same actors, none of the effort. Lazy, predictable, soulless production that doesn't even deserve the required characters length for the imdb review.

I guess people need to eat and all three of these actors have said in the past that they work whatever comes their way, but that doesn't excuse the lack of conviction in their acting in this film. I bet even they hated doing it.

Bottom line: Nothing to see here. Move along.

I went into this movie with low expectations. Likely due to that I actually enjoyed it. Always like Nicolas Cage and he's really the main star of the movie and only reason to watch this. My main gripe is his daughter Ashley. She basically just plays an annoying character the entire movie and freaks out every chance that she can get. It's like she's having a panic every time she speaks. She has a continual look on her face like she suffering from a small bowel obstruction. I'm really perplexed that Hollywood continue continually churns out characters like her in these movies, which only act to annoy the viewer. She adds nothing to the movie in a beneficial way, and we never care for her even remotely. I would've given this movie one more star if they would've killed her off before it ended. Regardless, a fun, entertaining movie, but don't expect too much.

Just like most of you, i get exited when a new Cage movie comes up and want it to be a really good one. However, his movies are of a hit and miss category and you never really now what you're gonna get. This one is a complete waste of time. Plot has been seen hundreds of times, acting is sub-par, and action sequences are just silly. To sum this movie up: a colossal waste if time. I had to skip thru last 45 minutes of the movie just to see if it's leading someplace interesting, but it remained a boring pile of amateurism for the duration. Not sure who sits in these production offices for movie companies, and who makes decisions, but am pretty sure that I can do a better job. Unless they are laundering cash, this movie is an absolute "direct to the bin" candidate.

Wonderfully familiar faces of very talented actors was the highlight in this movie. Included in this non Hollywood budgeted film, is a great setting and top notch camera work. Mostly an enjoyable experience.

However, If inconsistencies easily pull you from the brink of the necessary suspension of disbelief (ie: constantly calling a flash/thumb drive a hard drive, or a dial tone coming from a cell phone) then you may want to skip this one.

The movie has good intentions, and it's familiar. Just a bit out of modern day touch.

Had it been about an older generations struggle to stay on top in a world they obviously don't understand anymore. (Made more comedic situations.) I think audiences could get behind that with bells on. Nick Cage has a unique comedic voice I wish we could see more often and in more depth. After all, as us older generations navigate such a changed world, we often find the humor in it.

My A$$ Nicholas Cage has a retirement plan. He will star in his own embalming video: "This fluid is colder than my blood and smells bad but I guess that's what ppl do....... anyway it's seeping into my cranium now so gotta run. Think of me come Oscar & Golden (plated) Globe time! It was great staying active so long!! I SHOULD HAVE won something for Raising Arizona, & didn't. Shouldn't have won for leaving Los Vegas, although Elizabeth Shue should have. "The Golden (plated) Globes and Oscars should be talent/performance-based, NOT a popularity contest. In all seriousness this movie was funny for Nic Cage standards. He can be anything from outstanding to horse-dookie depending on the script and direction. For example watch "City of Angels" in which he (and Meg Ryan) made a far reaching sctript into an emotional, into genius work.

I dunno - it's the same type of thing he puts out a half dozen times a year. Watch at own risk.