Assault Girls

I give this a 7 because of the Introduction: It was Long. Looooong. Talky-talky Loooooong. Boringly LONG! I began to wonder if I had mistakenly streamed a documentary.

But really, you don't need the beginning Blah-Blah-blah to enjoy this flick. So Fast-Forward past the first 8 minutes. Don't need it.

Now to enjoy this movie-- you get extra oomph if you are a Gamer, because this flick is speaking on a basic level about Gaming and what it does to people, and thru implication, to greater society. Now the other reviews have the plot firmly on the head. A couple of female players team up to take on a mega-dragon/sandworm.

But that's not really the plot-- it's a context. And the Movie itself, is a Commentary.

Warning-- especially to Gamers. Even though it's about a Game-- it's Not non-stop blood guts and explosions. Instead it's scenically poetic. And when the action happens it's very nicely FX-ed, but it's pointedly emplaced.

Instead, pay attention to the Characters and the direction the Dialogue is going. When the End comes, because I have placed an online game, I actually busted out laughing because IT MADE SENSE! And it was that moment that made the entire flick pleasantly enjoyable (Minus the 8 minutes of blah-blah-blah, that is) I wouldn't make this a Main event movie for a Saturday night though. I'd stage this as a Friday night runner-up with some friends. Even Better if ALL of you do online games. You'll get a kick out of this one.

Extra Warning-- Even though the lead actors are women, this is NOT a Girlfriend Friendly Flick. . .unless she's totally cool and she also plays online games with you.

That movie, from the same guy who made the also very boring "Avalon", is very similar to it: - Great special effects - Everything is gray all the time, giving you the chance to take a nap - No story - Looooooong scenes that never end, containing nothing.

Just as an example, there is a scene of a guy eating for 3 minutes at some points. And not a nice artistic scene or something that make the story to advance. Just 3 minutes of a guy eating like a pig.

Well, if you rented this movie, I would recommend you to go immediately to the 10 last minutes of it. That's the only interesting part. And, if the movie had been exactly those 10 minutes for the entire length of it, maybe it would have had some potential.

To read another review that seems to exactly write what I wanted to say, go read the review from "Paul Haakonsen". It's exactly that !

The only reason to watch this film is because it has three hot Japanese babe in it.

Sadly, they are given very little to do. The plot is I guess is that for some reason, three babes are in this Virtual reality game because the world outside has been largely wiped out, but apparently, the game merely consists of hunting CGI sand-serpents with elaborate weapons. Or something. Let me know if you figure it out...

The special effects aren't bad, but the characters are so dull, and there are such long gaps in action, such as long shots of a huge snail before the male lead eats it....

Maybe this is a treatment for insomnia in Japan.

Oh my god! This was such a waste of time.

First of all, it took forever to get through the intro with lousy still photos and a really, really annoying narrator speaking broken English (I believe it is called Japanese EngRish).

Then when the movie finally did start it had potential, but it all fell crashing to the floor so hard. The scenery in the movie was fantastic, and it had a kind of Fallout (games) feeling to it, being an all barren and broken wasteland. However, the movie spent way too much time in showing pointless and endless shots of the scenery. It was great at first, but it quickly became boring and annoying to look at.

Moving on to the characters. Well, to put it mildly, they were shallow drones without any personality. Their costumes were awesome, however. And a lot of detail had been put into these costumes. And that was one of the better parts of the movie actually. But the characters in the movie were two-dimensional and had no appeal - except for their costumes. And their lovely, funny Japanese EngRish was just priceless. Why not keep the movie all in Japanese? It would have worked so much better for the movie as a whole.

The CGI effects were actually cool and believable, and that was also one of the movie's stronger sides; one of the few there were.

One of the more annoying things in the movie was the sound effects during the brawling scene between Gray and Jäger. That whole comedy approach failed on an epic scale.

In overall, this movie was a major disappointment. It was an empty shell that presented nothing but a feast for the eyes and ears. Trust me, you could send your brain on vacation when you watch this movie, because there is no thinking to be done at all! I was left with one reaction when the movie ended, and I quote "WTF! That was it? You've got to be kidding me!" - and that was my exact thoughts. Now, don't let yourself get lured in (and fooled) by the awesome movie cover - you will be sorely disappointed. There are a lot of really cool and good movies coming out of Japan, and of course, there are also movies in the opposite end - this being one of them! If you like Japanese movies, you can find many others that are a lot more enjoyable.

I study long form film to see how it works.

Some times what I end up seeing doesn't work. That is the case here; only the costumes matter, and one episode has resonance. Does that one episode qualify this as long form?

Maybe. Long form has less to do with length than whether things evolve and the film has some chance of helping the viewer evolve.

The outer wrapper of this is a dreary ten minute initial narration that gives us completely irrelevant history. An inner wrapper that constitutes most of the hour has three young women (hardly girls) and a scruffy guy "playing" a virtual reality game. This is as much a waste. We never exit the game but we sometimes 'pause play.'

But smack in the middle is an odd sequence. Twice earlier we have a well photographed closeup of a snail. One of our 'girls' puts it on the head of a small weathered statue of a wizened it young traveler.

It is a very Katachi action. She and us study, admire and move on. In turn, each of the other three encounter it and we are supposed to get key aspects of their person from this. We don't, so that is a waste too. But that initial encounter evokes a deep inner narrative I have about some facet of Japanese spirituality and form, sex and striving in general and within my private shell what urgent peace is all about.

All the hard work was done by me, based on what boils down to one moving image. Would I call this long form? It had the effect of long form, but there was essentially no dialog between me and the artists.

In the midst of all the provocative narratives I had spinning within me (whether to fight, whether to seek grace), was one about other filmmakers and who I wish was my companion here.

Fruit Chan. His Public Toilet goes on and on, using lives I could not care about, folded casually. But at the end, oh what resurrection of everything that went before. That one scene connected with all else, in the film and without. Mastery. Now that's long form.