White Elephant

Don't bother watching this because if you've seen the last ten movies in which Bruce Willis makes a cameo, this one is just more of the same. Gratuitous violence, tiresome, faux tough-guy dialogue, and mind-numbingly stupid gun-play don't make for much when it comes to entertainment, as if just throwing these elements into a pot will somehow produce anything fit for adult consumption.

Does this film have a story? It's hard to say when they hurl an endless torrent of blood and bullets at the audience in an attempt to distract you from the fact that if there is a story, it's too unoriginal to even mention. I've never played a video game, but I would imagine that Grand Theft Auto has more of a plot than White Elephant.

You can't even blame the actors in the movie. It's like pulling a bunch of garbage from the dumpster and expecting someone to cook a meal with it.

A few things writers of action movies should already understand:

• Drywall will not stop a round from an assault rifle, neither will a car door. Some high-powered rounds can go through an entire house and still kill you.

• If you want to kill someone on the sly, don't use a gun as it's too messy, especially if you are then going to take the body somewhere else to disposed of it. Just take the live guy to the disposal area, then get rid of him. If the cops stop you on the way there, it's a lot easier to explain a guy in the back seat than a corpse in the trunk.

• Try reading books so that everything you write isn't exactly like the last twenty movies you streamed. I doubt Hollywood writers can be bothered to read books, this seems obvious from their output of puerile doggerel like this film.

• If you can't choreograph a decent gun battle, stop thinking that five more in the film will improve things.

The villains in this movie are the dumbest ones ever. They act so stupid that it's impossible for them to survive till that age in their own movie realm. I don't know how and why people give green light to such movies. It's one of those 'traps' with 'Bruce Willis' and 'John Malkovich' written with caps to lure innocent film freaks.

Okay, Michael Rooker is a character actor who you know and love but for love nor money do you know his name?

This is an odd film - if not for Willis and Malcovich, it would be a B movie, but it's a good one - IMHO.

LOTS of bad guys! Tons of shoot 'em ups. No car chases.

The elephant in the room is Bruce Willis. Yes, this isn't his best, but he's still Bruce freaking Willis! I'm betting John Malcovich came along for the ride to be with his buddy Bruce. That's what friends do.

This is not Emmy or Globe material, but it's a fun movie to help pass a rainy afternoon or dull evening. Enjoy it for what it is.

This is not just another B-movie. And it aint another Bruce Willis flop either. Seriously. I have been watching ALL of Bruce Willis' movies lately and this one is actually not too bad. Not great either...but enjoyable enough for the Bruce Willis fans.

Director Jesse V Johnson has proven to be able to make lots of solid, tough and enjoyable B-movies throughout the last years and this is another decent one.

Excellent acting performance by Michael Rooker, who performs a leading role (baddie AND good guy in one), sharing a leading credit with Olga Kurlyenko, who is a highly skilled soldier.

The story: Bruce Willis is a mobster boss who orders a cop (Olga Kurylenko) to be killed. All hell breaks loose after that, WITH LOTS AND LOTS OF SHOOTOUTS.

This movie stands a bit out (in a good way) from other B-movies, because of the attention for detail, with good photography, a decent soundtrack and a story about family bonds.

Any bad? It it a bit slow now and then. And there are some credibility issues in the story and direction. But I am nitpicking, because in the end this is simply a mindless action B-movie, with great actors starring in it. It'll do...

At an important end note: This is one of Bruce Willis' LAST movies he will EVER make, because Bruce is retiring from acting, due to severe bad health, because he is suffering from a neurological disease which affects his speech and facial expressions. Really tragic!

Let us not forget WHY we are watching Bruce Willis movies to begin with. We watch Bruce Willis movies because of DIE HARD (1988). THE ONE AND ONLY BIGGEST ACTION AMERICAN ACTION CLASSIC OF THE CENTURY.

This classic is still standing strong after more than 30 years. Millions of people still REwatch it during every Christmas holiday. Recently a petition was launched to rename Nakatomi Plaza into DIE HARD plaza.

A life time achievement award for Bruce Willis is in the making as well, so I have heard...

DIE HARD (1988) NEVER DIES but is still ALIVE AND KICKING in 2022.

Let's celebrate that...

I suspect this was actually written by a 12-year-old and some of his buddies. It was comically bad from the start. I never saw so many people get wasted while standing around jabbering with someone with a gun while they themselves had guns hanging at their sides as if they had no idea what was about to happen. And then there were the gunfights in the middle of the night in residential areas that apparently had been evacuated.

You never really know what the motivation is for any of it, and poor Bruce Willis is so stiff it's sad to see. I guess they got him for the name recognition, but they could have used literally any older actor for his part - or merely grabbed someone off the street and fed him lines the way they likely fed them to Bruce.

Malkovich has become one of those actors whose movies you want to avoid, as I haven't seen him in anything good for some time, and he pretty much plays the same part in all of his later films. Olga K. Is also an actress who, while nice to look at, typically only plays in dogs.

But I did give this a four because I think it has some entertainment value as a comedy, as I was laughing out loud through parts, and it definitely isn't short on action. It's nothing more than a time waster, but I've wasted time watching worse.