The Legend of Jack and Jill

Okay, I confess... I've left it almost twelve hours before getting round to reviewing 'The Legend of Jack and Jill' which basically means I've almost completely forgotten everything about it.

I think I was consciously invested for at least the opening two minutes, where I saw a woman forced to abandon her children (Jack and Jill, would you believe?) in the British wilderness. Skip forward to when the kids have now grown up and they're mutated killers and there's a bunch of young adults about to take a hiking trip effectively through Jack and Jill's back garden, so to speak.

You can probably guess what happens next. One by one our 'heroes' are picked off, blah, blah, blah... The problem is that I'm guessing I'm not the only one who has practically forgotten everything about what they just watched in a matter of hours. This movie is totally forgettable. It's problems are that you won't care about the people being killed. Nothing wrong with that in itself. It wouldn't be the first slasher film where the people you're watching are little more than 'meat sacks' waiting to be slaughtered. The trouble is that there's nothing that interesting about the killers either. Add to it that if you're hoping that there might at least be some inventive kills and gore, there isn't. The kills aren't that grisly. The acting isn't that sharp. The make-up you could probably do yourself if you're going out for Halloween and the overall premise of the killers being (horrific) incarnations of a popular nursery rhyme really isn't explored. Seriously, if you called this film 'Woodland Mutant Killers' no one would ever say, 'Wow, this is like a slasher version of that old nursery rhyme.'

I can't believe anyone who sits down to possibly watch this hasn't seen a slasher film before. You're probably at least slightly into the genre. Therefore, you've seen better. You probably have better DVDs in your collection. Just put one of those on.

I have seen worse films. The cinematography wasn't the worst. I'm not really a fan of taking a trope and creating something that has absolutely no alignment with it other than its location or namesake. I suspended a fair amount of disbelief when watching films but this film made that exceptionally difficult. There was no explanation for anything and shooting it art house style seems like an excuse to cover bad writing with visual metaphor. I just kept watching it for no other reason than sunk cost and an abundance of free time. I enjoy many low budget thrillers and as is said this isn't the worst I've consumed but it's bad enough for me to write this review.

Imagine i gave you a 1st gen iPhone and you made a movie.. this is it - ignore the reviews left by the film makers family, its not worth your time, its not creepy, its not well write and the acting is laughable.

Another incredibly bad cell phone movie. Your hint when writer, director same PERSON N film has not SINGLE person you ever heard of.

Avoid like it the ACTUAL plague.....

The naysayers are at it again. As I've said before, I am screaming it now. They claim to scrutinize these reviews, well I wish they would stop including the ones that say, they only watched 10, 20, or 30 minutes then they turned it off. They then proceed to write a nasty review, telling everyone to stay away and not to waste their time. This is a B movie. It's not well written, not well acted, but if those things weren't there, it wouldn't be a B movie. I gave it a 5 but there are a lot of unrealistic things in this movie that make if a little far fetched lol. Two little kids living in the woods alone prepubescent till adulthood killing all who wandered in. Watch for yourself, then come and pen your own review. Nuff Said Mike Out.