Samurai Princess

I made it about halfway through this movie before I quit. The story was stupid and the action was incoherent. Sure there was gore in the movie, which was alright, but overall this movie is not worth the effort. You would be much better off with Tokyo Gore Police or Machine Girl. As an enthusiast for gore and horror movies, I was sorely disappointed with this movie.

There are lots of nice movies coming out of Japan, and recently a wave of gore flicks. Tokyo Gore Police, Machine Girl and Meatball Machine are movies to check out for gore fans - Samurai Princess is not!

It was not all bad. The good parts of the movie was the colorful costumes and some of the cast. But it far from makes up for its overall lousiness.

There's something about this new, ultra-violent, insanity laced, splatter genre from Asia. I've seen a few of these types of flicks now, and with each passing one, I keep asking myself why I'm not going ga-ga over them. I like them, sure. They're the most creatively violent flicks coming out these days. But movies as a whole, they're just bloody messes. I feel like I should be persuaded to just scream joy from the roof-tops because of the ridiculousness of the ideas and blood, but I guess I've seen enough films, enough bloody weird films, to form this opinion.

Based on this lil blurb, I don't think I have to explain myself for the reason why I'm not telling you about the intricacies of the story. But just to help a tad, it revolves around "mecha's" (sp?), revenge, and absurdity. Which are all cool aspects to a film in my book. But again, when intertwined in such a bizarre way, any type of emotional aspect to the film is lost. And that's where these films go awry. There are slow parts where it seems you're supposed to give a flying sh!t about the story. But the thing is after that scene where the dude is literally turned into a 'fountain of blood', my mind is totally checked out, and I'm only looking for more grue and of course, nudity.

Which brings me to another aspect to this crazy genre; the lack of sleaze and nudity is disappointing. Fortunately for Samurai Princess, the lead actress is/was (?) an A/V actress, so lucky for us, there's a sex scene with nudity. But besides one other nip scene, and of course the boob-weapon, there's nothing. You would think with all the amputated limbs, geysers of blood, brains, alligator legs etc. etc. the sub-genre would exploit other areas than just the red stuff. But again, good job to this flick for delivering a nice 'n cutesy sex scene.

I feel like I have to repeat myself when I say, I like these films. But not really as films, but as a kind of gore highlight reel, with hot Asian babes prancing around doing high-kicks. I'd love to see a film with this type of gore done in a more traditional way. Maybe a werewolf flick, that just showers the viewers with blood during scenes of attack. Something more simple that's still enormously violent, could be something that really works. I feel that's just useless wishing, as it seems these films are slowly beginning to reach a wider audience, so we'll probably continue to watch this sub-genre of film for a wee bit longer. Not that I really have a problem with that. It's just feeling a tad played out already. Also, moar bewbs, plz.

An evil forest overran by Outlaws and Mechas. Who will rape and kill any poor soul who enters. But there is someone else in this forest. A spirit of vengeance, a warrior, and a Mecha to fight other mechas to bring justice to the innocents. They call her SAMURAI PRINCESS!!!

Now before you rush out and buy this movie remember to be cautious. This movie is not for everyone. It definitely is not for children. It is not for all anime fans, even though the plot makes for a great anime. It is not as cute and clean as most animes. It isnot for fans of Kun fu and action films. This film has a very narrow demographic. If you like Truma films like The Toxic Advenger or Class of Nuke'em High. Then this is the film for you. It is film with gory dismemberment and lewd humor. It is really a movie that you do not want other people to know that you watch.

The story is rather simply and barely develops. The duologue is wooden. the writer did not put much effort into the script. The acting and directing was terrible. The only thing that was worth watching was the fight scenes but even they where unsatisfactory. all it was showcasing special weapons, blood spraying and body parts being hacked off.

Over all I give the movie six out of ten stars. If you like this movie the check out Big Man Japan.

I'm unashamedly fond of this genre of over-the-top, ultra-gory, and often hilarious Japanese movies. When done right, they're endlessly entertaining. Samurai Princess is not one of the finer examples that I've seen. 

The story is a revenge tale about a girl who becomes a Mecha (super-powered humans modified with the body parts and souls of the dead). She's searching for a group of men and two other Mechas who are responsible for the assault and dismemberment of a group of her friends. The plot is not presented in such a straightforward way, though, and there's a revolving door of random characters that pop up spout some back-story, get in a fight or two, and then die or disappear. 

The action scenes are weak, the attempts at humor come off as just weird, and not much of anything really makes sense. Samurai Princess is definitely a low-budget affair, with most of the money seemingly going renting the various warehouses it was filmed in. 

The only real entertainment to be found is from wondering what inexplicable thing is going to happen next. Watch if for that, or don't bother with it, at all. 

9/10 on the WTF scale, 4/10 as a movie. 

And please don't ask what the title has to do with the actual movie, because I've yet to figure that out.

In case you didn't know, Japanese Horror has changed since the earlier parts of the last decade. Sure, there were films like "Ichi The Killer" and the ongoing wave of Japanese Zombie flicks, but in much of the last decade, the country was largely known for it's supernatural creepfests with long haired ghost girls and mounting dread. While that was fun for a while, it eventually went the way of many fads/sub-genres of horror-yesterday's news. You can only see a pale supernatural force so much until you get bored.

So what's the new-wave of Japanese Horror at the moment? Splatter Comedy flicks. Movies that owe largely to the likes of old Troma movies, Paul Verhoeven's "Starship Troopers" and the like than they do old Japanese Urban Legends and haunted TV's or whatever. Flicks such as "The Machine Girl", "Tokyo Gore Police" and the upcoming "Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl" have defined this new era, and Kengo Kaji's "Samurai Princess" is one of the latest in this new trend.

The plot takes place in an alternate universe Japan, in which a our titular heroine (adult film actress Aino Kishi) was one a normal girl. That is, until a group of rapists had their way with her friends and left her for dead. Oh, and a mad scientist has fused the souls of her dead friends, implanted them into her, and turned her into a vengeful cyborg. Wackiness and arterial spray ensues.

From the get go, "Samurai Princess" is utterly bug-f#@k insane. It has chainsaw legs, wacky villainous sidekicks (the mad scientist has a gaggle of fan girl types following him wherever he goes-it's actually a lot funnier than it sounds), evil monsters, a pair of breasts that double as grenades (yes, you read that right), a man wielding a guitar that doubles as a sword and a chainsaw, and so much more. It's also shockingly funny as times, with some amusing gags thrown in, as well as the non-stop insanity making sure that you never grow bored. It also helps that the gore never wears out it's welcome-quite the contrary in fact, as each set piece is bonkers and all around entertaining.

Yet, the whole thing ends up feeling kind of like the sum of it's parts. One major flaw is the production values. While I normally don't complain about poor production values in genre fair, the Shot on Video style left me feeling a little let down, as it would have benefited from better editing, camera work and whatnot. Also, the performances are really hit and miss, with Aino Kishi being a bit bland as our heroine (though the fact that she's willing to disrobe doesn't hurt the least). The biggest flaw though, is the poor fight choreography. Films like this need fight scenes that can hold up with the movie, and here they just can't.

In the end, it's a flawed movie, but for rainy weekend fair, "Samurai Princess" makes for a fun time. If Troma made a "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers" episode, it would probably resemble this.