Steven Kan's Sharks of the Corn

This is even worse than all the sharknado movies (yes even the final one) combined! This is the worst shark movie imaginable. I expected some comedy-horror spoof on something or another. I was wrong, so very very wrong. This movie actually tries to take itself seriously! (I'm not kidding).

And it's not one of those "so bad it's good" movies, no, it's just trash. It's not comedically bad, it's just bad. What's so horrifying about this? The fact a piece of garbage like this got released.

DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME WITH THIS MOVIE, or if you do, torrent it for free, because it is NOT worth money.

Generally speak, I like Shark movies. It's really a stretch to call this a shark movie.

Everything about this was bad. Bad acting, bad cinematography, bad dialog, bad... no, not just bad but HORRIBLE "special effects".

I've had bouts of explosive diarrhea that were more enjoyable than this movie.

To be fair, I only got about 10 minutes in and pulled the plug. Maybe it's like the Wizard of Oz where the first part of the film is black and white and then transforms into a mind-blowing full-color experience only in this case, the movie starts horribly bad and then pivots unexpectedly into a cinematic masterpiece.

I mean, I highly doubt it, but it's always possible. I'll have to spin it up again and forward to the end.

I LOVE bad movies. It's why I came to it with a name like Sharks of the Corn and sat with giggly glee at the fake shark going through the corn field in the beginning. What it's lacking though is a poke fun at itself. No humor really. They tried too hard to get the audience soon on with the immediate nudity of chunky girls and slashing with chunky ketchup blood.

The camera work is bad, as it should be, however, I think a middle schooler with a smart phone and social media filters could make it better (as we see on TikTok). For example, they bludgeon a guy, but we miss the hit and see their torso down with a ground shot. Head space isn't considered in any shot either.

I stuck with it because of curiosity of how bad could it get. Was it a waste of time? Maybe. Would I watch it again? Na. Will I talk about it after? Oh yeah!!

What can I say about shark of the corn, it just isn't good, and is massively underwhelming for it's concept.

We get a drunk couple, one running around with her upper half on show. A shark that not only looks unauthentic but can also somehow not only survive out of water, but swim around in a corn field too.

We get sloppy script writing, poor dialogue, weaker than poor acting to go with that dialogue, and some underwhelming camera angles to go with the poor acting, that went with the poor dialogue. Who had thought it.

I just do not get it, I mean I wanted too, I did, but the whole thing is not playable so I don't. I have to give it one, mainly because the good people do give us a zero to select. I understand that, a zero would be mean, so fair play to those at IMDB for not having it an option.

Just not good to watch.

Right, well with a movie titled "Sharks of the Corn", of course you are bound to believe that you are in for either a spoof or a comedy. One would think so. But no, this 2021 movie from writer and director is seriously labeled as a horror movie. Yeah, exactly, a horror movie.

And, well, I guess it was a horror movie in some way, because this movie was bad. So horribly, horrible bad. And yet, I sat through it, hoping that it would eventually become so cheesy and bad that it would become one of those movies so bad that they are enjoyable and hilarious to watch. That just never happened with "Sharks of the Corn".

The storyline in "Sharks of the Corn" was just downright corny, pardon the pun, so at least the writer and director got that right. But it wasn't by any means an enjoyable storyline. And the whole thing about sharks and Stonehenge being interwoven? But why?

The acting in this 2021 horror movie was dubious at best. Of course it was, just take a look at the special effects, the storyline, the dialogue and the sharks, and you get the idea.

There there were the special effects. Boy, were they special alright. The effects were lowkey and practical in origin. And points scored for making something like this. But the effects in "Sharks of the Corn"? Come on. It was atrocious. It was so blatantly obvious just a hand shark puppet held in front of the camera. And the blood effects? Well, let's not even go there.

"Sharks of the Corn" is without a doubt one of the worst movies that I have suffered through. Don't get suckered in by the movie's cover, the title or the catch phrase "Steven Kang's Sharks of the Corn". I did, and I regret it awfully.

My rating of "Sharks of the Corn" lands on a one out of ten stars.