Total Wipeout

If you enjoy being repeatedly hit around the head with a frying pan, you will no doubt be delighted to hear that the BBC has purchased another series of Total Wipeout. If you haven't seen it yet, here's what happens: Lots of people fall into the water in Argentina.

Some of the people fall into the water right away. Some of them survive for a couple of seconds, then fall into the water. After each round a female presenter interviews all the people who have fallen into the water, and asks them how it felt to fall into the water.

"I see you fell into the water," she says, "How was it for you?" The contestants who fall into the water come from all walks of life. Most of them are reasonably fit, but quite a lot of them are fat and unhealthy, creating what TV producers like to call "jeopardy." The show is funny because the contestants fall into the water not once, but over and over again. Over and over again. And, of course, it's even more hilarious when the fat ones fall into the water, because the splash is bigger and their recovery time is slower.

Players are protected from serious head or spinal trauma by protective clothing, but here's the really clever bit – we all know, deep down, that it's only a matter of time before someone sustains a life-threatening injury. Throughout all of this excitement, a tiny man with huge eyes pretends to be in Argentina and reminds us how amusing it all is, via the medium of smug, throwaway one-liners.

There is something deeply annoying about Total Wipeout. If, like "It's a Knockout" it all took place in a British seaside town, and the presenter got thrown in the water himself from time to time, it would all feel less detached. Less clinical. But the bloke from Top Gear is so half-heartedly bolted onto the show that the whole thing comes off feeling cheap and nasty, particularly as the BBC have the nerve to put it on the telly in Primetime.

If it is absolutely necessary to show people repeatedly falling into the water on a Saturday night (and it looks like it is) then at least get someone witty to present it. Week after week ITV's "You've Been Framed" – a programme which should be awful - is rendered sublimely funny by the writing and presenting skills of Harry Hill.

I do not enjoy being repeatedly hit around the head with a frying pan, and subsequently I am not a fan of Total Wipeout. If I want to watch fat people struggling to swim I can visit Florida.

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the American version i haven't seen so i cant judge but the main British show (apart from Richard Hammond) is really funny and is really good if you want to see people suffer which is morally wrong but still the coarse never gets boring because of the way people act around it whether their really unfit or incredibly healthy they all seem to fail at some point or another. its good to watch when there isn't anything on. the coarse of the show consists of 4 stages that also includes the final test at the end they win 10 grand for themselves unless its a celeb in which they give to charity. Richard Hammond is actually more boring as a cucumber sandwich and shouldn't be given a script that has more bad humour than how many spots teenagers have.

Thanks for making one of the most entertaining, funny shows on TV into the dullest hour of television I've seen in some time.

When I saw this was going to play on local digital channel Go! I thought "yes", so imagine my absolute horror at the abomination that screens every weekday night on TV. This is boring, and I'm a committed "crap TV" watcher, so that's saying something.

The US version of this show is hysterical, the two John's make a great combination and technically the show cannot be faulted, but this woeful British version is best avoided. Richard Hammond's commentary is straight and unfunny, there is none of the colour that is injected into the US original, hell, even the commentary on the Australian version is better, but at least one of those guys is actually a commentator. I mentioned the technical aspect of the US show for a reason, this Brit version is VERY low rent, shadows and camera guys are everywhere, and even the other contestants cheering on the finalists is unnecessary at best. And then there is the course itself, even if you're a "bad" contestant you get through it it under 2 minutes, why bother? The final Wipeout course isn't much better, seemingly not very difficult at all, from what I've seen.

If you haven't seen the US version, by all means, knock yourself out. If you have, don't bother, this hysterically unfunny show will only break your heart and leave you feeling very, very cheated, wondering where that hour of your life went, and regretting the fact that you'll never get it back.