Kung Fu Nanny

This is a very silly movie, but I quite enjoyed it. Jackie Chan doesn't do the crazy dangerous stunts he used to, but his brand of comedic martial arts is still entertaining. The kids are reasonably realistic, with only one being somewhat annoying precocious. There are some nice bits, like a running joke involving a criminal's wardrobe. The story doesn't make a lot of sense, especially since the McGuffin of the film would probably be far more lucrative in cleaning up the environment than for the impractical purpose the bad guys have in mind, but this movie isn't supposed to be anything more than a cute silly movie, and I thought it succeeded in that admirably.

There is something strange and irrational about the human psyche that draws us to films that we know are absurd and bad, but in spite of the glaring flaws of such films we get drawn in anyway because the experience is pleasurable. One of those films is "The Spy Next Door." It was obvious to me that "The Spy Next Door" had almost nothing to offer its audience in terms of a plot or even characters that could transcend their stereotypes. These stereotypes include (1) All Russians are evil; (2) the female love interest always finds an implausible reason for dumping Bob Ho (Jackie Chan)before she later reconciles with him; (3) If you want to gain the respect of bullies, you have to beat someone up - preferably an evil Russian who is storming throughout your house looking for a secret formula; (4) If you have Jackie Chan in your film, give him lots of choreographed karate or agile tricks to do; and (5) If you want to win over kids who are not your own, you better be a great action hero. I also realized that this film was trying to get by on Jackie Chan's personality and the characters of the kids.

Yet I did not care because up to a point reliance on the Jackie Chan persona, which this film was clearly doing, actually worked. The reason is that Jackie Chan is a good natured guy, very modest and very nice. It is to an extent amusing watching Chan perform his tricks as he copes with babysitting and then takes on the bad guys. The action scenes were, in my mind, not like the ordinary, overly violent action scenes where the good guy shoots up a bunch of bad guys. They are dance routines, some of them plain silly and others that are pretty good - and you get the impression that even if you are a bad guy you are unlikely to get badly hurt. Jackie Chan himself has often said that he abhors violence and his Bob Ho character is not a violent man. He gets involved in action scenes reluctantly and, even as he wins his little battles, one gets the impression that they were all a lot of fun. Now this is not to say that I can guarantee that you, my readers, are going to like this film. You may dislike it for many sound reasons, but for me "The Spy Next Door" is one of my guilty favorites.

Bob Ho (Jackie Chan), a very successful CIA spy, is retiring from the business. Although he likes his co-workers, including Colton (Billy Ray Cyrus) and his boss (George Lopez), he want a "normal" life. Cornering a Russian gangster will be his final "hurrah". In truth, Bob has fallen in love with a beautiful divorcée, Gillian (Amber Valletta) and wants to marry her. Trouble is, she has three cantankerous kids, Fallan (Madeleine Carroll), Ian and Nora. Whenever he arrives at their house, they find ways to humiliate him. So, when Gillian has to leave town to attend to a sick father, Bob sees an opportunity for him to "get closer" to the children. He'll babysit for them! After all, as Bob says, he has brought down dictators so he can certainly deal with three kids. Ha! Things go wrong almost immediately. Bob can't cook breakfasts the kids will eat, he has trouble stopping squabbles and he finds bedtime rules are difficult to enforce. Most seriously, Ian downloaded a secret file from Bob's computer and now the Russian badguys are after them! Can Bob manage to dodge bullets as he carpools the kiddies to school? This is a cute family film that should please almost everyone. It has a fine story, a zippy direction, a lot of action, and a nice cast. Chan is, as always, a wonderfully comic performer whose smile can light up the world. His inventive martial arts movements are mirthful, too. The rest of the cast, including Carroll, Cyrus, Lopez, and the others, are great, too. As for the settings, costumes, and production values, they are of the top-shelf variety. Especially beautiful is the suburban home where Gillian's family lives. All in all, everyone in the family will spy a winner here, during a showing, and be pleased as punch when the credits roll at film's end.

Wow, people need to get a grip when they review a kids film! Sure the premise has been used before & sure the bad guys are cheesy. They are supposed to be.

This movie has OK action, corny dialogue, and an absolutely wonderful message. Not every movie has to win awards to be great. Some movies are simply great because you get to spend time with your kids & the flick has a redeeming message.

This movie has no sex, no language, and merely comedic violence. What a refreshing idea! I loved that my 13 year old boy & 10 year old daughter enjoyed it & both got the message that family is who loves you not whose blood runs in you.

I would highly recommend this movie to anyone with children or to anyone who is sick of Hollywood "morals" being forced down our throats. A very family friendly movie.

Come with a good attitude. Enjoy the popcorn & a coke. Watch a decent flick & enjoy time with your family.

CIA super agent Bob Ho (Jackie Chan) has been dating Gillian (Amber Valletta) for three months. Her kids Farren (Madeline Carroll) and Ian (Will Shadley) hate him. Little Nora (Alina Foley) thinks that he's a cyborg. He is retiring for Gillian but she doesn't know his secret life. Glaze (George Lopez) is his handler and Colton James (Billy Ray Cyrus) is a fellow agent. His Russian nemesis Anton Poldark escapes from capture. While the kids snoop around in his house, Ian downloads a file from his secret computer. Poldark tracks it down and comes after Bob and the kids.

There is absolutely no chemistry between Jackie Chan and Amber Valletta. The kids have better chemistry with him. Maybe they could have made up a story about him being a secret nanny instead. That's where the comedy is anyways with him as Mr. Mom. The movie almost works with him and the kids. Many comedians have mined that rich vain and Jackie could easily do that too. Also I don't know why he has to wear those glasses. It's not like he's Superman and this is his secret identity. The rest of the movie is a bunch of unfunny cartoon characters. It still has Jackie Chan doing his acrobatic fights. That's impressive at his age. With a few changes, this could have been a passable kids movie.