Holmes & Watson

I honestly don't hate Reilly or Ferrell. I've seen both of them do fantastic jobs with decent scripts. This film...does not have one of those.

Holmes and Watson could have been great - after all, the Sherlock Holmes character, being such a cultural icon, is ripe for parody. But this movie does NOTHING with its premise. In fact, most of the script could just have been copy-pasted from your standard brainless buddy comedy set in modern America, with barely any changes.

For one thing, the film has barely any plot - instead, the titular characters simply stumble from one scene to the next, encountering various people of no real consequence (even Moriarty - played by the fantastic Ralph Finnes, a casting choice that would have been so much better in a serious adaptation - is barely in the movie and feels like an afterthought). And sure, not every comedy needs a strong plot; but when you're making a film about Sherlock Holmes, whose very character is built on strong murder mystery plots, you need to at least ATTEMPT to give your parody something of a story.

And for another, the jokes are just painful. As mentioned, most of them barely relate to the Sherlock Holmes character at all - they're just standard slapstick jokes transplanted into a Victorian setting, with barely any changes; or else painful attempts at being "topical" that'll feel horrendously outdated in a few months. The film makes no real effort to satirise the Holmes character - in fact, it never makes us feel like we're watching Sherlock Holmes or John Watson on the screen at all. Instead, we just feel like we're watching Will Ferrell and John C Reilly faffing around in costumes and putting on dumb accents, and the film never tries to convince us otherwise.

It's just low-effort tripe beginning to end. Modern comedy feels like a cesspit sometimes.

I always thought giving birth was the most painful thing I would ever experience. I was wrong. Watching 5 minutes of this movie was far more painful.

Sherlock Holmes is determined to capture Professor Moriarty. However, Holmes (Will Ferrell) is an idiot and seems to do his best to help Moriarty escape....and having his devoted partner hung instead! And, in doing so, he's allowing Moriarty's plot to kill the Queen to move forward.

One of my favorite comedies is "Talladega Nights" starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly. And, while not as funny, their film "Step Brothers" also makes me smile. So, you'd think that the pair would pretty much a guarantee of a good laugh....though "Holmes & Watson" is ample proof that even this duo can make a dud. And, it all boils down to the script, as "Holmes & Watson" hasn't a single laugh in the film. Instead, it resorts to the cheap and disgusting...such as vomiting, an autopsy, male lactation, horse excrement, and urination. Most children could write a script funnier than this bilge.

The bottom line is that even funny folks need a competent script....and this script is pure crap through and through. Unfunny, mean-spirited and stupid....that's "Holmes & Watson". Rarely has a film cost this much and delivered so little.

By the way, if you watch this film (DON'T), it's obvious they set it up for a sequel. Considering nearly everyone hated "Holmes & Watson" the chances of this sequel are pretty much one in a billion (give or take 10).

This movie is as bad as its awful reputation. You may cease reading now, since I have imparted everything you need to know about it. I will now blather on for a few lines because otherwise the IMDb would not print this.

It is poorly written. When I heard the word "kids" in the first two minutes to mean small children, and saw girls in a British public school in the 19th century, I thought I was in for a YOUNG EINSTEIN sort of movie. No, it is sloppily, uncaringly written, and nothing about it gives any impression that anyone behind the camera put more than minimal thought into the movie. There are shots that are out of focus.

Ah, you ask, but how about the jokes? There is one good gag, in which the Robert Downey movies are mocked: overcranked sequences in which Holmes analyses what a course of action will yield..... only to have his analysis turn out long. This gag is done three times. There are also urine jokes, sexual assault jokes, and other examples of juvenile humor which are not elaborated, only repeated.

I've wasted an hour and a half watching this piece of garbage and another ten minutes writing this. That's more than enough.

Never have I ever been so bored, disgusted, and repulsed by a movie. My family and I collectively decided to walk out about an hour in, realizing what a waste of time this film has been. There are so many better movies in theaters right now- please, please, please stay away from this hot garbage.