Soeurs de sang

Sorority Row seems to be receiving a lot of bad press for the same reasons that all slasher flicks seem to garner - it's clichéd, the characters aren't likable, the plot isn't handled well, the set-up is botched, blah blah blah. OK, these ARE fair points - there exists within this movie one too many "Hello, is anybody there?" moments, too many "Don't go in there!" moments, and let's be honest, they could have quite happily pinned the entire thing on someone else and gone to police instead of covering it up.

However, to complain about those things would be to complain about the entire purpose of the slasher genre. Besides Scream, Hallowe'en and Black Christmas, there is not a single slasher that has a shred of believability (and even Hallowe'en doesn't - Michael Myers is the boogie man for goodness sake!). We go to see slasher films to watch people get killed and don't pretend otherwise. These situations do not happen in real life, why expect any level of realism in the film?!?

So why bother going to see this? Primarily, for the kills. Out of the 10 or so murders, I'd say but only 3 are gratuitous and 2 of those are badly set up. Again, it's the same old story of bimbo/drunk frat boy wandering where they should know not to. But for the 7 or so others, they rock! The manslaughter at the beginning is pretty twisted, yet I, and many others got satisfaction watching one of those twits from The Hills getting offed and thrown down a mine shaft. Following on, a "pimped up" tyre iron is implemented to cause as much gore and depravity as possible: bottles, mirror shards, cars, flare guns, axes, fire-extinguishers, shotguns and the bird cane from the original all are used at some point to bring the death count to a total Rambo would be proud of. One of my favourite set-ups in the movie comes after the party, when they are aware that somehow, someone knows about their little secret. In an intense scene involving many bubbles - because in the World of the Greek Letters, you are more likely to find a jacuzzi than a room full of mannequins - one of the 5 get caught out in it. The build up ranks with that of Annie in Halloween or CC in Scream 2 - after the girls receive another threatening text, they realise that one of their names was missing from the list and before they know it, the missing girl is running, screaming through the courtyard towards them. Although the scares are few and far between, that scene had me ducking. The murder weapon, that tyre iron, is set to become iconic if it garners any sequels (which, undoubtedly it will).

The main characters may not be the most interesting, and two of the girls really are just plain boring, but there are 3 who stand out in my mind: Jessica, Cassie and Ellie. Jessica, the bitchy queen, is played with fervour by Leah Pipes: she relishes every mean phrase, never misses a chance to put someone down, and when she stumbles across the dead body of a sorority sister, her first remark is "God, she looks terrible!" delivered with a dead pan attitude that just rocked. The fact that, unfortunately, she is governed by a bloke is a shame, but she redeems herself towards the end, staying true to her bitchy, selfish nature. Ellie, although a walking cliché in a horror movie, is played really rather well by Rumer Willis. A girl falling apart at the seams as she tries to cope with her part in the accident, she goes from slightly shaky to worried to paranoid to hysterical to catatonic. Yet she maintains some integrity and humour and has quite possibly the funniest moment during which the girls are trying to stop her from finding out that Megan just might not be dead. Finally, Briana Evigans is such fun to watch. Although her character has no right to feel better about herself over what happened and she certainly is no Sydney Prescott or Laurie Strode, Briana brings out of Cassie a feisty, tough girl who can actually be rooted for towards the end. The other 2 VERY good reasons to watch this movie are as follows: gratuitous cat fights (in a burning house with a psycho killer running around none-the-less!) and Carrie Fisher blowing her kitchen to smithereens with a shot gun, all the while taunting the masked killer with lines such as "Come to Mama."

All in all, Sorority Row is not a good film but it is sheer entertainment. What it lacks in plot and credibility it more than makes up for in style. it's also the first remake that I've had pleasure watching due to it's total carelessness of where it's origins lie. I'd give it 6 out of 10. (yes I am aware I've awarded it 10 out of 10 but that's because I feel bad that morons would mark it so harsh on its lack of plot... seriously)

I'm sorry but I think that people were just way to hard on this movie at the time of release. It may not be the greatest slasher in film history but it's still an entertaining flick with an enjoyable cast.

With it's excessively asinine plot, crazy killer armed with a particularly impractical weapon (a modified tire iron), exaggerated death scenes, a larger-than-normal quota of bitchy, big breasted bimbos (including the obligatory sexy nerd) and their equally obnoxious boyfriends, and a fair smattering of gratuitous nudity, I'm pretty certain that Sorority Row was intended by its makers to parody the countless, moronic, teen slasher remakes that have blighted horror in recent years. However, it appears that their motive may have been lost on many viewers, who seem to have mistaken the deliberate playing up of genre stereotypes and intentional over-use of dumb clichés for a case of plain, old-fashioned bad movie-making—something which there has been plenty of over the last decade or so.

It's a shame, because when armed with the knowledge that much of the film's apparent awfulness is by design, one can have quite a bit of fun with Sorority Row.

The film opens with one of those frat parties that only ever seem to happen in the movies (or maybe I just went to the wrong parties): it's thumping with the latest cool tunes, heaving with physically perfect specimens of both sexes indulging in all manner of hedonistic activities, and overflowing with an endless supply of alcohol. Whilst the gorgeous revellers bump, grind and get wasted, six sexy sorority sisters carry out a mean prank that will have disastrous results: they con a poor schmuck into believing that he has accidentally killed his ex-girlfriend Megan by plying her with drugs. Carrying the joke a little too far, they also convince him that it would be a good idea to hide his crime by pushing her body into a lake located near a disused mine. Unfortunately, before they can reveal that it is all a sick joke, events spiral out of control, and Megan winds up dying for real when the guy plunges a tire iron into her chest (to let the air out of her lungs so that she will sink). Now the group are forced to dispose of a genuine corpse—opting to dump their dead friend down the mine-shaft.

A year later, as the girls celebrate their graduation, a hooded murderer is busy at work on the campus. Is it Megan, back from the dead for revenge, or does someone else have a motive for the rapidly rising body count?

What follows is undeniably silly, but as I have said, when viewed with the right frame of mind, it's also rather enjoyable; one can have fun spotting the deliberate attempts by the makers to ridicule the more idiotic conventions of the genre (the over privileged students, the stern but protective den mother, the innocent girl who unwillingly goes along with her friends' plans) whilst also revelling in the brutal violence, ogling the many attractive women, cheering on a shotgun toting Carrie Fisher, and marvelling at just how much Rumer Willis sounds like her mother.

It's not a brilliant piece of film-making (if it was, the parodic content would have been obvious to all), but it's not nearly as dreadful as many might have you believe. I rate Sorority Row a reasonable 6/10. Give it a chance.

Oh no, a guy is cheating on one of the Theta Pi sisters! Good for them they have a prank lined up for some prime revenge. Too bad said prank ends with one of them dead. To make things worse, a hooded slasher is after them after graduation.

Last year, we got a remake of "Prom Night" that ended up being one of the worst horror remakes of the decade, and committed a cardinal sin-a PG-13 slasher movie. Well, look at "Sorority Row" (a remake of the 1983 slasher flick "The House on Sorority Row") as the movie the "Prom Night" remake should have been-the anti-"Prom Night" remake if you will. It's not a classic, but nobodies expecting that now, are they?

So, what works?

For one thing, while not a splatter flick, there are some impressive kills available, as well as a sweet murder weapon that has potential to become iconic. Also, the performances are fun. Carrie Fisher is a hoot to watch (her role is a bit too minuscule though) and unlike say "I Know What You Did Last Summer", this movie makes no bones about the fact that most of these characters are unlikable and deserve their fates. The best surprise as far as acting is concerned is Leah Pipes as the bitchy leader of the sorority sisters Jessica. She's a blast to watch, and plays the part without overacting or overdoing her character. In short, she steals the show as far as I'm concerned. The movie does have it's flaws-it's a bit too flashy at moments, at times could have done a little more with it's R-rating (there's nudity, but none of the lead girls gets naked? For shame!) and the final ten minutes could have definitely used some work.

Nags aside, "Sorority Row" is a fun guilty pleasure. Sure, it's more catered towards a teen audience than hardcore horror fans, but come on, most slasher flicks have been catered to a teen audience. Besides, in an age of pointless PG-13 horror, 3D gimmicks, unnecessary sequels like "Halloween II" and "The Final Destination", horror flicks that try to hard to be hardcore, and horror flicks that try too hard to cater to horror fans (I'm a hardcore horror fan, but occasionally that can get annoying), a piece of unapologetic slasher fluff goes down easy.

Plus, any movie that opens with girls in PJ's with their asses exposed jumping up and down can't be all bad.

A group of sorority girls pull a cruel prank on the brother of one of their brethren. They wind up taking the prank too far, and it goes terribly awry when one of them is killed. Fearful for their futures, they decide to dump the body down an old shaft and keep what happened a secret. Time passes and it seems that they've gotten away with it, but a hooded killer shows up on the night of their graduation party to pick off those involved.

I am not the biggest remake fan. I outright skip many of them, though I'm not as vehement in my stance as I once was. In fact, a few have actually been catching my interest more and more as of late, the other most recent example being The Uninvited, a surprisingly well-done adaptation of a somewhat overrated Asian title. Then there is Sorority Row, which garnered my attention for two key reasons; A) I am an unapologetic slasher fan and B) Margo Harshman has a role in the film.

With that said, I really enjoyed Sorority Row. I did a double-bill with Whiteout, and thankfully I decided to watch this one second, as it washed away the foul taste of that nonsensical mess. For slasher fans like myself, Sorority Row had a feeling of "old school" to it. The storyline setup, the atmosphere, the wild sorority parties... it felt like old times. Old times that were witnessed via 80's slashers, of course. Some pretty inventive kills in here too, just like in the glory days of the slasher film. No repetitive Scream or IKWYDLS type kills. And really, if you're a slasher fan, the kills are half of the fun. I also have to say that I enjoyed the dialogue in this film. It was always spot-on with the wit, always funny in a dark humor sorta' way. I actually had the opposite reaction to the characters, as the girl playing Cassidy annoyed me. Her voice just grated on my nerves for some reason. The queen bitch was a joy to watch. I thought she was thoroughly amusing. As for Margo, she was stuck with the thankless role of the group slut, but she brought her own brand of deadpan humor to the part. Her lacking amount of screen time was my biggest disappointment with this movie.

All of that aside, the killer's reveal was also disappointing. The motivation just wasn't resonating with me, and some of the theatrics seemed too in line with the lame Scream brand of villains. Still, the rest of the film was so much fun, I can't help but recommend this to other slasher fans. If you like this kind of film, give it a chance. If you don't, well, I doubt you'd be reading this far anyway. It's a slasher film, plain and simple, and one I'd give the ol' slash of approval.