Cupid's Arrow

Sam, a college student, gets a teaching assistant position with Professor Grimes, a chemistry professor. Her boyfriend Alan suspects that their relationship may be more than professional and starts to investigate the Professor. The Professor is developing a love drug and is using students as test subjects.

B-grade and obviously so. Plot is basic, dull and predictable. Production values are low. Performances are weak, some to the point of being laughable.

Really nothing going for this film. I should have quit early on as the film's crappiness is apparent from the get-go. However, I stuck with it for some reason, unfortunately for me.

I came across this only on account of browsing star Najarra Townsend's credits, and I have to say - having seen her in a few films now, 'Cupid's arrow' might actually be the most bizarre outlier in her oeuvre on account of how very conventional it is. This is a very ordinary comedy-drama (with romantic flavoring), except with trope-worthy character conflict manifesting as a contrivance of the concept rather than out of genre necessity. It's a decent premise - happy couple, strong personalities, butted up against a deeply unscrupulous (and frankly predatory) professor. The movie starts out mildly strong, but - unfortunately, it definitely doesn't stay that way.

Filmmaker Daniel Peterson wears two hats here as director and writer (alongside co-writer Wakelin McNeel). His work seems suitable at first blush, but quickly reveals itself to be at best a mixed bag, and it doesn't get better - only ever plumbing greater depths of tawdriness. Dialogue shows wit on rare occasion, but is most often hackneyed, sometimes as though striving to mimic similar features of the 90s and early 00s. Characterizations are fine in theory, but struggle with the same empty gracelessness as the script. And these mirror the scene writing and narrative in growing steadily worse in their realization as the runtime progresses. 'Cupid's arrow' begins as a cheeky romantic comedy with a little bit of charm and no laughs, and in the second half becomes a serious thriller of corporate intrigue - but with no thrills.

The feature very distinctly shifts gears with some of the most outlandish, vapid inelegance I've ever seen, and at no time does it seem like Peterson was fully committed to his own production. At no time is it able to elicit a positive reaction. If at the start 'Cupid's arrow' carried a measure of authenticity, by the end the artifice is overwhelming - less an unwelcoming bright sun on a cloudless day, and more like a supernova two feet from our face. Pacing, timing, sound, editing, photography, dialogue - there's not one element of the film that doesn't go from "acceptable" to "rotten" by the time the end credits roll. And that includes the acting.

I'm familiar enough with C. Thomas Howell to know he's a capable actor. I've seen more than enough of Townsend to know she's an outstanding actress. I can't speak for anyone else in the cast, but I assume they are stricken by the same plague of awful writing and direction that wears down those faces I recognize. Once again, in the first half performances seem adequate, if unimpressive and beleaguered by Peterson's guiding soiled hand. In the second act, everyone involved increasingly seems to be 100% phoning it in, merely going through the motions and not for one moment giving care that they are professional actors. Townsend seems to be the only member of the cast to miss out on that memo, but she has so little screen time - regrettably suffering under Peterson's direction - that even for someone like me who is a fan, this isn't worthwhile.

Then we factor in blatant, gratuitous, egregious transphobia, and plot advancement so ham-handed that it could be mistaken for a live pig. What initially showed promise becomes direly, desperately ill-considered, and even that feels overly generous a descriptor. The ideas in the screenplay could have been expanded into either a bizarre romantic comedy or a psychological thriller, but absolutely not both. Not with this rendition, and most emphatically not with Peterson around.

I could write at far greater length dissecting all the ways in which 'Cupid's arrow' is absolute cinematic putrescence, but I have better things to do with my time. I need more than a palate cleanser, I need bleach to wash out my eyes after what I've just witnessed. No matter how much time I spend emphasizing all the profound indelicacies and crudeness of craft on hand here, I would never be able to truly communicate how roundly despicable this movie is.

Experiencing 'Cupid's arrow' is a self-inflicted wound that may never heal. From one moviegoer to another - from one person to another - I beg you, as an act of self-kindness: do not watch this.

Cupid's Arrow is a great film that will catch anyone's attention. Whether you enjoy science fiction, romantic comedies, drama, teen flicks, or comedies, this film has it all! It touches on real possibilities for the future in research/science industries. Not only does this film have you thinking about science, human emotions, and love, but did I mention the cute "eye candy"?! The leading man Chandler Rylko is the new and improved version of the classic hottie. He has the gorgeous looks and talent to back it up. There is a sensitivity and vulnerability about him which you rarely see in most good-looking actors. He could possibly be the next Ryan Gosling. This film also has famous known names like C. Thomas Howell, in addition to fresh newbies like Chandler Rylko and Jeremy Radin who look to have promising careers. All in all this is an entertaining film.

This had a fairly interesting story line that could have been really fun and entertaining.

Unfortunately, the acting was so wooden and so unbelievable that I couldn't stay in the story long enough to enjoy it.

On top of that, the sound mix was ridiculously bad. Specifically, the background music and ambient sound was mixed too high and drowned out much of the dialogue. On top of that, much of the background music just didn't seem to fit the scenes it was placed in.

In the end, it was painful to continue watching all the way to the end, but I stuck with it in the hopes of getting some kind of closure on the time I'd already put into it. It was a hope unrealized.

If I could go back knowing what I know now, I'd have skipped this dog.