Disaster Movie

Since the name of the movie is "Disaster Movie". The basic irony is that it's a ****ING DISASTER! A 90 minute **** flick based on pop culture and movie trailers. My god, Seltzer, retire and live off the money you made from your other below 3 star rated pieces of horse ****, please. Now when you do these type of movies, you're never going to get the "jokes" in 5 years, maybe even 2. They're just wasting their time, not really. They're just wasting our time. But whoever goes and sees this are brainless (Hypocrite moment) but bare with me, I got in for free and I regret it.

A free ticket, and a bad nightmare.

Do not watch this, support other films that are coming out today whom deserve it more.

Come on, do you REALLY want more of these? **** guys, just ****.

This left me speechless......and not in a breath-taking "Shawshank Redemption" type way! I literally wanted to rip my arm off and throw it at the TV it was so bad. My husband and I made a bet with one another as to who could keep watching it the longest........the loser buying the weekend beers! I was quite happy to lose that night. I had no idea what was going on, it kept skipping from one sketch to another with no plot, no reason and NO POINT! Awful acting, awful impressions, awful film! Pretty much is what it says on the tin, A Disaster. Do not watch this movie. You'd be better off stapling your genitals to a table for an hour...it'll be less painful for you!

Honestly, what is wrong with you, Hollywood? Not only is this the WORST thing that has happened to you ---- you keep funding these "cheesy writers of Scary Movie" to make these movies. I mean, come on Carmen Electra, you know even better than them that you have potential! Stop portraying in parody movies!

See, I can't believe I am comparing "parody" to this movie. This movie has no "parody" or "comedy" in it, this is all referencing. All they need to do is see a movie title, take a line and a scene from a trailer, and turn it into a script. Never in my LIFE have I ever been so ticked off by you (Hollywood).

I mean, Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg, you don't even care for the money, you just want to prove you can be a film-maker too, but that's not the point! Movies are something you should enjoy, and this... this is making bland jokes and pointless (as I may say "comedy) with fart jokes and people being hit with objects... or just getting hurt (but you realize that they are okay)?

Now please, STOP! You're ruining the name of "parody" and you are causing people to hate you even more!

Please, as a warning, DO NOT WATCH THIS.

I was given a free ticket to this film; so I can't complain that I was ripped off (except in that some 90 minutes of my life were irretrievably stolen from me). These sort of movies (Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans) haven't been funny for some time now but "Disaster Movie" has reached a new low. There wasn't one real laugh anywhere in the film, and most of the alleged "jokes" were actually painful. (There was a considerable amount of childish, mean-spirited stuff in the form of racist, sexist, and especially homophobic, garbage present, along with ample helpings of juvenile gross-outs.) None of the actors were even bothering to put up any pretense of acting. There is nothing hip, clever, or even mildly intelligent going on here. The entire film is from beginning to end crass, vulgar, irrational, and utterly humorless in any human sense. I know that in the past these sort of trash has made enough money to keep Seltzer et al., grinding them out but "Disaster Movie" may just be the downfall of the franchise. The utter contempt that Seltzer and his collaborators have for their audience is finally beginning to show through clearly. If this one fails (and from what I saw in the almost empty theater there is a good chance of it), Seltzer will have to go back to the drawing board, stop making these lazy catastrophes, and finally develop a real sense of humor. This movie is an unfunny piece of puke - stay away from it.

I am writing this in hopes that this gets put over the previous review of this "film". How anyone can find this slop entertaining is completely beyond me. First of all a spoof film entitled "Disaster Movie", should indeed be a spoof on disaster films. Now I have seen 1 (yes count them, 1) disaster film being spoofed, that being "Twister". How does Juno, Iron Man, Batman, The Hulk, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Amy Winehouse, or Hancock register as Disaster films? Selzterwater and Failburg once again have shown that they lack any sort of writing skill and humor. Having unfortunately been tortured with Date Movie and Epic Movie I know exactly what to expect from these two...no plot, no jokes just bad references and cheaply remade scenes from other films. Someone should have informed them that satire is more than just copy and paste from one film to another, though I shouldn't say that because some of these actually just seem to be taken from trailers.

There is nothing clever or witty or remotely smart about the way these two write, and I can't believe that some people still pay to see these travesties. It's an insult to the audience, though if they enjoy these films I doubt that they are smart enough to realize that.

Rating: Unfortunately there is not a number low enough (yes this includes negatives) to rate this. This deserves to be in the top 5 worst films of all time, right there with Date Movie, Epic Faliure...I mean movie, and Meet the Spartans. I would rather be forced into a 24 hour "Manos: The Hands of Fate" marathon than watch this slop.