- Humphrey: [to a trio of angry bears] You guys like jokes? Good. Okay, so two bears are eating a clown. And one of the bears says "Does this taste funny to you?"
- [One of the bears knocks him into a mountain]
- Humphrey: A simple "boo" would have sufficed.
- Eve: [to the eastern pack] I just want to say one thing, if any of you wolves have hurt my daughter I will personally rip out your eyes and shove them down your throat so you can see my claws tearing your carcass open!
- [All the eastern wolves back away in fear]
- Lilly: Uhh... mom?
- Eve: Not now dear, mommy's in a rage.
- Lilly: Well, well since Kate 'stood up' Garth, I could show him around until she gets back.
- Garth: [Scoffs] I wouldn't say stood up.
- Tony: [Off screen] Garth!
- Garth: [Gulps] Sounds good to me.
- Lilly: Well come on Garth.
- Eve: [Growls at Garth] Aw, isn't that sweet? She gets it from me.
- [from trailer]
- Paddy: You were relocated to re-populate.
- Kate: Ah!
- Humphrey: Oh, sounds good to me.
- [Kate puts her paw under Humphrey's chin]
- Kate: No.
- Humphrey: [as he and Kate spin wildly through the air] What are you doing up here?
- Kate: I'm practice-hunting for our lunch.
- Humphrey: Oh good, 'cause I'm about to lose mine.
- [Gulps]
- Kate: You are? Ew.
- Humphrey: I'll try to swallow it.
- Lilly: I told you, I don't hunt.
- Garth: Here, maybe this'll help.
- [pushes the fur out of her eyes]
- Garth: Wow...
- Lilly: 'Wow' what?
- Garth: Your eyes, they're beautiful.
- Kate: [Kate and Humphrey come across a bear] Don't move, we can handle this.
- Humphrey: We can?
- [Suddenly, two more bears join in]
- Kate: Okay, *now* we're in trouble!
- Humphrey: You wolves are making us look bad. Look, the caribou are laughing at us!
- [the caribou laugh and shake their rears mockingly]
- Humphrey: Ugh, now that's a moon I don't wanna howl to!
- Kate: Ahh!
- Humphrey: Ahh!
- Kate: Ahh!
- [Grunt's in disgust]
- Humphrey: [laughs] Where's Barf?
- Kate: It's Garth, and we're just taking a little break.
- Humphrey: A break?
- Kate: What, is that so strange?
- Humphrey: No, no, no no no, are you kidding? I always like to take a break, ten minutes into a howl.
- Kate: Well I do!
- Kate: Ow! Where am I? Ow!
- Humphrey: Ughh!
- Kate: Humphrey?
- Humphrey: Kate! Where are we?
- Kate: I don't know.
- Humphrey: Oh, maybe we're dead.
- [Both yell ow]
- Humphrey: Nope, definitely not dead.
- Kate: Ow!
- Humphrey: Well, at least they left us some water.
- Kate: You got water?
- Humphrey: Nope, definitely not water... Kate, what are you doing?
- Kate: Trying to get out! Aghh!
- Humphrey: Ah! Whoa calm down, listen maybe they are taking us to where there is more food.
- Kate: Or maybe we are the food.
- Humphrey: Oh, Kate, you're right, fight, fight fight fight!
- [Both struggle in cages]
- Humphrey: It's Spring! Whoa, look who's back from alpha school.
- Salty: Forget about it Humphrey, Kate's an Alpha now, and you're, an Omega.
- Humphrey: We're friend's, ok?
- Mooch: Exactly, just friends, end of story.
- Salty: You better set your sites over there, Reba and Janice, the Vegi-tarians
- [Reba and Janice Smile awkwardly]
- Kate: There has to be another way for us to get to Jasper.
- Marcel: Another way... another way... always another way... what am i... a travel agent?
- Winston: An Alpha and an Omega. An Omega and an Alpha. Eve, help me out!
- Eve: Oh!
- [Faints]
- Paddy: [Kate is about to marry Garth even though the two birds know she and Humphrey are in love] Now, I'm a stickler for tradition, but this one I just don't understand.
- Marcel: These wolves are mysterious creatures.
- Kate: [Kate and Garth are about to be married] I... can't.
- Garth: You can't!
- [Pumps his fist and sighs in relief]
- Garth: I mean... you can't?
- Tony: What's this, Winston? Why can't she marry Garth?
- Winston: Quiet!
- [Softly, to Kate]
- Winston: Kate, why can't you marry Garth?
- Kate: Because I, sort of, uh... fell in love with an Omega.
- Kate: [Stands up a little and looks around]
- Kate: Is everyone starring at us?
- Humphrey: Uhhh... well, no not everyone... Yeah! Now they are.
- Kate: Oh, damn! 'Cause i wanted to tell you something.
- Garth: So, why's this called "Rabbit-Poo Mountain"?
- Lilly: Because this is where rabbits like to poo.
- Garth: Ewwww! Gross!
- Lilly: [giggles] I was just kidding.
- Garth: Whoa, i get it. You're a funny omega.
- Lilly: Mhm.
- Garth: Okay. Make me laugh!
- Humphrey: You know, we make a pretty good team. Kate and Humphrey, their old adventures. What do ya think?
- Kate: I think you're crazy.
- Humphrey: You think i'm... whoa! No, no i'm telling ya... We're on to something here. Hey baby, stick with me and we'll go places.
- Kate: [laughs a little] Well, i'll keep that in mind.
- Kate: I think it's about time you should learn how to hunt.
- Humphrey: You know i'm not a hunter, but i got some pretty cool moves.
- Kate: Oh really?
- Humphrey: Yeah, really.
- [playfully tackles her]
- Humphrey: Ha ha! What did i tell ya?
- Kate: To tell you the truth, i'm impressed.
- [after getting into a fight with another wolf]
- Humphrey: You mess with the girl again, and you're dead!
- Kate: [surprised] Humphrey!
- Kate: Humphrey, i just wanted to tell you: these past couple of days, they've been... kinda... fun. You've been kinda... fun.
- Humphrey: [with a smile] Really?
- Kate: Yeah, really.
- Humphrey: Well, that's... that's great. I told you, baby. We make a pretty good team.
- Kate: We definitely do.
- [she giggles]
- Garth: Lilly, i just wanted to thank you. Ya know, for showing me around this place.
- Lilly: You mean, you liked it?
- Garth: Of course i liked hanging out with you. Hell, in fact, i don't remember having such a great time before. Especially with a girl.
- Lilly: [giggles shyly] Well, i'm glad you had fun, Garth.
- Eve: Aww Kate, you look so beautiful. Now, if Garth gets out of line, take those beautiful teeth of your's, go for the throat and don't let go until the body stops shaking.
- Kate: [Looks around in shock]
- Winston: [Clears throat] My little girl doesn't want to do this, she's not ready.
- Kate: Don't worry dad, I'm ready.
- Winston: [laughs]
- Kate: Come on Lilly.
- Lilly: Ok, ok.
- Kate: [Kate tries to stand on to a slippery rock and looks down to see a river] Humphrey!
- Humphrey: [Tarzan yell and swings towards Kate] Don't worry Kate, it's all part of the plan
- Kate: I can see that
- Humphrey: Kate, grab my tail.
- Kate: Grab your what?
- Humphrey: Take those alpha jaws and grab...
- [Kate bites Humphrey tail]
- Humphrey: OW! my tail, my tail
- Humphrey: Guys, honestly, caribou is overrated.
- Kate: Hmph.
- Humphrey: Now instead, keep an open mind, I just want you to keep an open mind here. We bring you, berries!
- [Wolves growl]
- Humphrey: Oh, heh heh, how about squirrels?
- [Wolves drool and the squirrels scream]
- Humphrey: Oh, bad joke, flying squirrels ha ha.
- Paddy: Well, i guess the birdie ruined your Birdie.
- Marcel: You mark it "birdie" because it would have gone in.
- Paddy: Technically, sir, it MIGHT have gone in.
- Garth: [about Humphrey] Who's the coyote?
- Humphrey: "Who's the coyote?"... Oh, i get it. That's good... Cuz i'm like...
- Kate: [Interrupting] No one important. Lilly, why don't you take little coyote Humphrey and run along?
- Winston: What were you doing in Idaho?
- Kate: We were taken by humans to another park.
- Humphrey: We were supposed to repopulate.
- [Eve pounces on Humphrey and attempts to murder him]
- Kate: No, no, no, no! Mom! We didn't repopulate! Humphrey actually helped me get back home.
- Eve: [stops and releases Humphrey] Oh. What a nice boy.
- [from trailer]
- Kate: What's wrong with you?
- [Humphrey has his paws between his legs]
- Humphrey: I have to go.
- Kate: Can't you hold it?
- Humphrey: No! I can't.
- Berry-Eating Wolves: Stop the insanity! Go organic!
- Humphrey: Damn it! I can't take it anymore!
- Salty: What the hell did we hit, man?
- Humphrey: [about Garth] He's not a stud, it's like stud... uh, what's the word I'm looking for? A dud! That's it! Don't you think?
- Kate: [Stifling a laugh] No, he's not a "dud." In fact, *Hum-phrey*, you'd be surprised to find out that he's...
- Humphrey: Strong?
- Kate: Strong, yes! He's *strong*!
- Tony: It's the full moon, Winston.
- Winston: I can see that, Tony!
- Tony: I didn't wanted to come to this.
- Winston: But here we are.
- Humphrey: The next girl that comes up the hill, outta my way 'cause she's mine.
- Marcel: [in disgust] I hate cupcakes!
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