Paintball

First off, Paintball bets the farm that the viewer has never seen a movie before. If this is your first movie, then you're in luck, as it only gets better from here. Paintball's storyline is a combination of recycled, yet shockingly under-developed, themes and settings that attempts to create an air of mystery and horror by keeping the viewer in the dark. This is respectable approach, however, nothing ever makes sense in the movie… and not in the cool Donnie Darko way. It's like a bunch of 8th graders wrote a story in a half hour and never even bothered even coming for a reason why any character in the movie acts the way they do or any situation in the movie would be plausible. You can tell a movie stinks if the only way to move the story forward is for the characters to do the opposite of what any rationale or irrational human would do. Example 1A: People are dying and everyone still walks around inexplicably yelling with their paint guns cocked and loaded. I would think that even the dimmest bulb would realize that staying quite would be to their benefit.

Second, the movie is made horribly as well. You can tell that no shots were thought out ahead of time. The camera will follow someone, they'll drop a helmet, the camera will linger on the helmet, and the helmet will never be heard from again. I can see who a little misdirection can help a movie, but after repeatedly seeing useless visuals, you start to get the feeling that they were just letting the camera roll with hopes of making it work in the editing room. Also, the special effects are terrible. Every effect looks like it had a maximum budget of $5. I can watch a horrible movie and laugh along with the best of them (see American Ninja 3). However, they took so many short cuts in this movie, that there is nothing remotely redeemable about it. You can surely finding something to disappoint you that isn't 85 minutes long.

This gets two stars only because I've seen Gourmet Zombie Chef from Hell.

I don't exactly know anymore why I thought that "Paintball" could easily have been a cool and exciting survival/slasher movie when I rented it… Maybe because I went paintballing with a group of friends recently and you immediately link this game to adrenalin-rushing action and sportive kicks? Or perhaps because I have a tremendous weakness for equally obscure and similarly themed flicks from the 1980's, like "TAG: The Assassination Game", "Master Blaster" and "The Zero Boys"? All these flicks share the same plot, namely that a dim-witted but fun shootout game turns deadly when one or more participants start using real ammunition. None of them are to be considered genre classics, or even remotely great films for that matter, but they nonetheless provided pure and unpretentious entertainment. Entertainment is also exactly what I wanted to get out of "Paintball", but apparently that was too much to ask for … It's truly a dire effort, with an utterly dumb and implausible plot, and sadly also severely lacking gore, brutality and fast-paced suspense/excitement. "Paintball" is a European production – more specifically a Spanish one – and the creators obviously wanted to further exploit the worldwide impression that ALL Europeans are psychopathic butchers with a fetish for torturing Americans. Hence we're getting some kind of ridiculous mixture between the aforementioned 80's titles and Eli Roth's "Hostel". A bunch of people are in the back of a shaky truck, heading out to the remote Redwoods area and preparing themselves for a large-scaled and allegedly super-deluxe paintballing contest. Upon their first confrontation with another team already, it becomes clear that they are all defenseless puppets in much more sadistic and profitable game, run from an illegal control room somewhere in the city. It's kind of a dumb twist, if you ask me, but even more imbecilic than the plot are the totally bland and unremarkable characters. Each and every single member in the group of protagonists irritated me enormously, what with their whining and selfishness, and I literally wished for none of them to survive the ordeal. Director Daniel Benmayor also thought it would be a good idea to film all the killings from POV angle and through a sort of unclear brown camera filter. Result: the killings are hectically shot and extremely dull. There's nearly not enough bloodshed or cruelty for die-hard horror fanatics, let alone the admirers of the nowadays popular torture porn genre. The film doesn't take enough advantage of the sublime forestry filming locations and we don't learn enough about the actual villains that are running the show. "Paintball" a complete failure across all departments.

I guess pun intended with the summary line. The idea is really good, but the movie itself isn't. It's a shame, that they couldn't make something out of it. The title gives away a little bit and of course you can imagine, that this won't be a regular Paintball game, that you will watch in this movie.

There are quite a few neat scenes, but especially one gimmick (where the camera uses a filter and therefor the picture you're seeing is "different") that it uses, wears off pretty quickly. Add to that, whiny characters (not all, but too many) and not that many different ones, so you could root for a particular character. It moves along too slow and any tension that gets build up, is destroyed pretty quickly. Some nice (gory) scenes won't help that either (not to mention, that some of them are shot through the aforementioned filter, which is really bad).

STAR RATING: ***** Saturday Night **** Friday Night *** Friday Morning ** Sunday Night * Monday Morning

The premise behind this abysmal action thriller has a group of people going for a good old bit of paint ball, only to find themselves really fighting to stay alive as a barrage of real bullets are fired at them. But the characters are never developed or explored in any way, so it's impossible to care about any of them. Needless to say, there is no air of tension or suspense whatsoever, and the acting is so bad none of them have any life anyway, as though just running around shouting and screaming incoherently at each other gives them any life. Not that there was anything special to see there anyway, just the usual generic stereotypes typical for this genre. And here we have yet another film that hasn't learned the modern trend of shaking the camera around and darkening the lens is an off putting and annoying one rather than an endearing one. One to flee all round. *

Some whiny and annoying card-board characters are dropped off in the field where the games with the opposing team will be held.After some paintball sessions an unknown hunter begins to kill them using real ammo."Paintball" is a highly derivative survival flick which reminded me "The Zero Boys" or "Masterblaster"(both flicks from 80's).The characters are annoying and not developed,the plot is predictable and there is plenty of clichés.The cinematography is shaky and the killings shot via grey night vision quickly become irritating.If you want a good survival flick check out "Rituals","Deliverance" or "Hunter's Blood".Unfortunately "Paintball" is one to avoid.5 out of 10.