- Henry Tomasino: If I don't make it...
- Joe Barbaro: Hey, hey, don't go saying that, pal. It's just a scratch. The doc will give you a few stitches and then we'll all go out and celebrate.
- Henry Tomasino: No, really...
- Joe Barbaro: Shhh... you shouldn't talk right now. Helps conserve your strength. I saw that in a movie once.
- Henry Tomasino: Yeah? And what happened to the guy in the movie?
- Joe Barbaro: He died.
- [Joe and Vito are in a gunfight with the Chinese Triad]
- Joe Barbaro: Where the fuck are they all coming from?
- Vito Scaletta: Must be a tunnel to China around here somewhere...
- Vito Scaletta: Hey, who's that guy back there?
- Joe Barbaro: What guy?
- Vito Scaletta: The guy at the body shop.
- Joe Barbaro: Oh, Tommy. He's my buddy's nephew. He's kinda quiet, but let me tell you, the kid's some hell of a dancer. Saw him at the old dance hall in Oyster Bay a couple of weeks ago. He had all the broads going nuts.
- Vito Scaletta: Do I detect a hint of, uh, jealousy?
- Joe Barbaro: Are you kidding? I don't need no dance moves. I got charm, my friend. Here, I'll give you some of my lines, so maybe you won't have to spend so many nights with Rosie Palm and her five sisters. Hey, here's one. Hey, is that a mirror in your pocket? 'Cos I can see myself in your pants.
- Joe Barbaro: [From Trailer] The working man's a sucker, that's for damn sure.
- Vito Scaletta: You said it.
- Joe Barbaro: [a car crashes through the jewelry store Vito and Joe are robbing] What the hell is this?
- Brian O'Neill: Come on, boys, the cops'll be here any minute. Move it!
- Joe Barbaro: Brian fucking O'Neill?
- Brian O'Neill: What the fuck is this?
- Joe Barbaro: You crazy bastard. what the fuck are you doing?
- Brian O'Neill: Barbaro, what the hell are you doing here, you fuck!
- Joe Barbaro: You're a little late, chief, there's nothing left here for you.
- Brian O'Neill: Fuck off, fatso, this is our heist! If you want to get out of here in one piece you better hand over everything you've got.
- Joe Barbaro: Yeah, yeah, well the sign outside didn't say Brian O'Neill's place. If it did, I wouldn't have robbed it. Instead, I would have set it on fire.