Citations

The Four-Faced Liar

Bridget: Ugh, that's totally my thing!
Molly: What thing?
Bridget: Everyone has a thing that makes them attracted to someone else. Like, you straight girls are into holding doors and a hand on the small of your back.
Molly: Totally.
Bridget: That lip thing, that's... my thing.

Molly: Okay, uh, look at modern literature. All of the greatest female characters were written by woman because no man could ever write from a female's perspective. Women have this compassionate chemistry that allows them to listen with an unbiased ear. All woman, even you.

Trip: Why do you think everyone is gay?
Bridget: I don't think everyone is gay.
Trip: Mmhmm.
Bridget: I don't think Chloe's gay.
Chloe: I have totally kissed a girl.
Bridget: Sweetheart, if I thought you were like a second gay, I'd be all up in it.
Chloe: Well now is your chance, Bridge. Wanna do me in the bathroom?
Bridget: Yes
Trip: Stop hitting on my girlfriend.
Bridget: Oh, I'm sorry. Are you allowed to do that? Didn't think so.
Trip: Asshole.
Bridget: Fucker.

Bridget: I don't really know if that proves that I'm more sensitive then all guys.
Molly: Stop saying that. You listen with your whole body and you have this intense eye contact. No guy, not even the best guys, have that.
Bridget: But I don't really feel like that's a gender thing, I feel like that's a personal thing.
Molly: You're SO wrong. Okay, uh, look at modern literature. All of the greatest female characters were written by woman because no man could ever write from a female's perspective. Women have this compassionate chemistry that allows them to listen with an unbiased ear. All woman, even you.

Bridget: I can be both. I-I mean I can be. I can be the unreliable douche-schnozzle who grabs her ass in public and wears work boots, but I can be also be the one who holds doors for her, and tucks her in at night, and-and buys her fucking gerber daisies for no goddamn reason!
Chloe: I know you can.
Bridget: I'm gonna go kick his ass right now.
Chloe: N-n-n-no, no, no, no. Come on Bridge.
Bridget: I'm done with this!
Chloe: Don't say that.
Bridget: I just did. Did she go home with him?
Chloe: I don't know.
Bridget: Fuck!
Chloe: I don't think so.
Bridget: You fucking straight girls! You're all just a bunch of closet cases. Maybe we should all just date guys! Maybe I should I have a fucking boyfriend! My heart, is like on the floor right now. I wish a car would just come and hit me!
Chloe: You want me to hail a cab?
Bridget: No, I'm talkin' bus.

[Chloe quietly enters Bridget's room while she is sleeping next to Molly]
Bridget: [whispering] What's going on?
Chloe: I'm sorry. I just gotta do a final sweep through of my stuff. I can't find my hair straightener.
Bridget: Well, I don't have anything in here.
Chloe: Why can't I look for it now?
Bridget: Well... I'm kind of in the middle of something.
Chloe: I'm sorry, I can be totally quiet.
Molly: [sits up in bed] Hey, what's going on?
[both Molly and Chloe gasp while Bridget looks mortified]
Chloe: Oh, my God. I knew it. I fucking knew it! You're an idiot. You know that?
Molly: It's all my fault.
Chloe: You're right. It is all your fault! You have a boyfriend, Molly! This is absurd! Please tell me that you were drunk last night.
[Molly does not reply]
Chloe: Oh, this is a sober brilliant idea! What is wrong with you? Great... this has been a wonderful morning. Whatever...
[picks up her hair straightener iron]
Chloe: Here it is. I gotta go. I'll see you later, Bridget. And Molly... just give me a call later when you get your head out of your ass!

Chloe: Bye.
[as she leaves]
Chloe: .
Trip: Bye.
[groggy mumbling while brushing his teeth]
Trip: .
Hot Girl 1: Bye.
[Trip looks at the strange incredibly attractive girl picking her stuff and leaving]
Hot Girl 1: .
Trip: Naaaaa-ice.
[nodding his head in approval]
Trip: .
Bridget: Thank you.

Greg: Why'd you cheat on Chole?
Trip: Honestly? I didn't know she'd be home so early... I thought I had another day.

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