Vipers

The tagline says 'First Comes The Slither, Then Comes The Slaughter', but it could easily be changed to 'Then Comes The Yawner. Because that is what this film exactly did. It bore me to death.

Yeah, people could argue that B-movies aren't suppose to stimulate you, and the only reason directors direct these kind of films is to kill your time on a Sunday morning is just wrong. I mean, there are other B-films that is as good as the mainstream films, except that these films are produced on a smaller budget and not as widely promoted.

But I digress.

I spent an hour or so watching this film, hoping that it will get better. Sadly, it did not. I was disappointed at the plot dynamics (or the lack of it), the annoying snakes, and the unreal storyline.

I am hoping that others will watch other films instead, or if you have watch the other films, maybe cleaning your backyard and/or planting new trees on your garden is not such a bad idea.

Ridiculous movie with great actors wasting their time. Just why do people do this? The vipers are puny for genetically enhanced creatures and the special effects are laughable. It packs no horror punch at all. Irrelevant plotlines with adults acting bad...so they get eaten by the snakes? Dull as the last sermon on a Sunday afternoon.

Thank God for the glorious Tara Reid whose very presence makes it worth suffering through this. All three stars are for her.

Pretty sure this movie had the slowest car chase in the history of movies. Most of the movie consisted of a few seconds of people talking followed by a few seconds of slithering snakes. Just over and over. It was insipid.

It didn't start out bad: Had a decent set-up, there were some good actors in it, and the location could have been fantastic, but was completely under-utilized. Overall, not a good effort and forgettable.

Survival Lesson: Do not fill up radio space with inane banter, especially during an active operation.

A set of vipers has been taken by the scientists, and they have mutated them to make a cure for cancer... then their experiment goes awry, and all these vipers escape into the woods, and they are not only biting people, they are actually killing people, in a little town.

I had low expectations because of Tara Reid, but frankly she was no worse than anyone else in the movie and may actually have even been good by comparison. I hate to almost say a good word about Reid, but there it is, the closest I may ever come.

The problem with this film is easy to point out: the special effects. Snakes that take over an island and eat people (apparently including their clothes, bones and tents)? Sounds pretty good, like a classic 1950s sci-fi movie. Well, not this time. The snakes look so poor, they just ruin every scene they are in (which is most of the movie). SyFy has made a lot of poor special effects decisions, but this may be their worst.

Look out for the vipers! They are coming and they are going to bite your face right off of your body and then eat it and they you will be totes dead!

Tara Reid might be able to save us from the vipers I sure hope so otherwise they will bite right through our chests and we will be so completely dead.

I am scared of snakes and the scariest snakes of all are these vipers with their super strength and genius level intelligence. They are hunting us and will kill us all! They will come for us in our sleep and eat our heads off!

Save us Tera Reid!