Cornered!

Cornered! Treats slasher fans like they're morons.

First off, whoever authored this DVD does not know movies. There's a trailer for THIS VERY movie in the previews. Spoiler alert! You don't put the trailer for the movie you're about to watch right before the movie.

A bunch of misfits barricade themselves up in a store with a serial killer on the loose.

The only thing good about this movie is the killer's methods (and the twist on how he obtains this information). This filmmaker has chosen to spell it out for you, not once (once would be too much), but TWICE! The Dumb Decision trope is in full effect in this one, and I think it costs every last character their lives.

Ok, every horror movie has a skeptic. They play the skeptic trope to the Nth degree with Steve, the store owner. He's not just skeptical, he's 100% CLUELESS. You'd think this was a parody, but I'm pretty sure this is a straight-up slasher (even with the presence of Steve Guttenberg). People say alarming things to him, and he just mumbles to himself. He follows a blood trail to the basement that he is convinced is a prank done with ketchup. Two survivors find the keys to leave the store, and... the way this all plays out is too ridiculous to even go into. You can watch it for yourself if you have a masochistic streak. I don't know how much dumber Daniel Maze and Darrin Grimwood could have written these characters.

Yeah, Steve Guttenberg appears at the beginning and the end of this movie. So, if anyone needs their Police Academy fix.

(2008) Cornered!

HORROR

Co-produced, co- written and directed by Daniel Maze directing a rather low budget, straight to rental crap, about a convenience store owner, getting together with friends and co-workers to play a game of poker located on the room above the store itself, unaware that theirs a serial killer in the midst. If people were to watch enough slasher films, the twist toward the end becomes to be not that much of a twist. As a matter of fact it's totally stupid. And the actor Steve Guttenberg of several movies including "Police Academy" and "Short Circuit" also stars as the beer delivery guy. Bomb.

Five people play poker after hours in the upstairs of a liquor store, only to be picked off one by one by a serial killer. Much of the first half is centred around this game, frankly very boring. The acting isn't great, especially Duval as the heroin addict going cold turkey. The temptation to hit the FFWD button was great. Once the killing starts there is an attempt, with some success, to substitute gore for tension. Many slasher fans will feel short changed however, with only one killing near the end producing the gory goods. I guess making a film in pretty much a single location takes skill, so credit to them for trying. Could've been better, I'd pretty much lost interest after the first half.

This flick was made by first-time director Daniel Moerenhout but is better known in his country and into the music scene as Daniel Maze. The man surely knows what he want, he had a one hit wonder with Scoop in 1999 and made his first so-called flick when he was eleven. One way or another he managed to make his first Hollywood flick. But you really need a teaser to promote your flick so he found Steve Guttenberg of the Police Academy fame. And I must admit, he still has it, he was believable even as the Police Academy wasn't my cup of tea. The others were luckily believable too. I enjoyed the movie but it has a few let downs. First of all, some killings are a bit lame, secondly, it take a while before the movie really starts. You really have to wait almost an hour. Before that you will have a lot of talking, dirty talk and bad manners. Of course there is a bit of black humor mixed in it but not everybody will notice that. Just look at the flying donut... After 30 minutes you will get murder number one but that was really a lame one, combined with again the black humor (the ice cream cones). Somehow it reminded me a bit of The Intruder, the storyline I mean. But after a hour the red stuff starts to flow, some killings become really nasty and one killing is really worth watching, a slo-mo and close up of a victim's slicing. Nice to see. Luckily as a slow builder you get what you are waiting for. It has an open ending but I guess they won't franchise it. The killer itself, well, his mask did remind me of the 80's slasher Blackout and the more unknown Zipperface. Nice flick but you will have to wait to get cornered.

Yeah, it's somewhat slow. And yes, the characters are exceedingly dumb. I mean they figured out how the killer is killing them but not who - which could be gleaned from the exact same information. And even before that, there is a massive clue who the killer is because information that only they would know is tipped to the entire group and audience.

Things the film has going for it. The killer's mask. Yep, I am a fan of that. While it is impractical, it is still a pleasing aesthetic. And some of the character studies are fun. Mona's business phone calls. The addiction subplot. The kills. The theatrical roaches. The VCR aspect. The ending.

Stuff that was meh. The owner is insufferable and his financial woes are lame. The fact that Donnie was not a long-lost Kevin James/Gary Valentine (Knipfing) brother but just some guy named Peter Story - which totally sounds made up.

Anyway, this movie is watchable. Because I apparently had already seen it, rated it, never left a review and then rewatched it, thinking this seems familiar.