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Jocelin Donahue in Offseason (2021)

Avis des utilisateurs

Offseason

54 commentaires
6/10

Somewhat of an acquired taste is cosmic dread...

As I sat down to watch the 2021 fantasy horror movie "Offseason" from writer and director Mickey Keating, I must admit that I knew nothing, absolutely nothing, about the movie. It being a horror movie was essentially all that was sufficient for me to sit down and watch it.

And I will say that the storyline told in "Offseason" is a slow burn type of storyline and narrative. So if you're hoping for a horror movie with an abundance of jump scares and spooky scenes, then "Offseason" is not your type of movie. Nay, "Offseason" is more of a Lovecraftian type of horror movie. Writer and director Mickey Keating takes his sweet time to set up the stage, but ultimately the long wait didn't really bear fruit in a fulfilling and satisfying manner.

The narrative told in "Offseason" was definitely inspired by the works of H. P. Lovecraft, as it was a coastal community that apparently had struck some kind of bargain with a person that had emerged from the sea, and the town residents were bearing an old secret. And then the entire scene at the beach was just full-blown Lovecraft, no doubt about it. And I will say that it actually was the highlight of the movie, if you enjoy the cosmic dread of Lovecraftian stories. But if you watch "Offseason" hoping for a regular horror movie, then you will probably be lulled to sleep by the pacing and the lack of scary things.

"Offseason" is a movie with a small cast ensemble, and you essentially just following Jocelin Donahue (playing Marie Aldrich) around as she unveils the secrets of her past and the secrets of the secluded island. But I will say that she actually carried the movie quite well. I was pleasantly surprised to see Richard Brake (playing the Bridge Man) in the movie, just a shame that he wasn't given a lot more screen time.

Visually then you should not be expecting a whole lot from "Offseason", because it is a movie that is driven by the story and narrative of said story, not focusing on throwing an abundance of visual effects at the audience.

I will say that "Offseason" is definitely something of an acquired taste. Because if you are not a fan of the Lovecraftian tales, then you will not enjoy "Offseason" one bit. But if you are a fan of the classic H. P. Lovecraft tales, then you will definitely enjoy "Offseason".

My rating of "Offseason" lands on a six out of ten stars.
  • paul_m_haakonsen
  • 11 mars 2022
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5/10

Offseason

This was okay, the plot is unique, the scenery reminds me of silent hill. I liked the mystery going around the movie but it somewhat got boring because all we saw was a woman running around the island searching. I wish there was more to the plot and the ending didn't do the movie any favors to be honest.
  • marinaant-36217
  • 25 avr. 2022
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5/10

Off The Mark

I had high hopes for this movie- starring proven actors Jocelyn Donahue and Joe Swanberg with RJLE involved in distribution- but it fell short.

The main story was interesting (albeit unoriginal) and well acted, but the flow of movie felt scattered and unfocused. So much so, that I kept checking how much was left in the movie. Also, the scares were little to none, and I didn't feel an interest to see what happened next. Even good acting couldn't save my attention span

Add a little more coherence between scenes and more effective scares, and this would have been above average.

A mediocre movie at best [5/10]
  • ryan_sy
  • 11 mars 2022
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3/10

Good idea and cinematography in service if a shoddy script

The movie looks good, and the idea is good and the whole thing could have been creepy, but there are just so many weird inconsistencies.

A character will go from "I am not leaving because X!" to "No we have to go now!" within the span of 20s. The characters also seem to teleport around the island, going from cemetary, to beach to djungle within 10 steps. The exposition is delivered clumsily and either to early or too late in the movie.

Theres so much footage of the main character walking slowly through fog with nothing happening that it really felt like they didn't have enough movie to fill the run time.

Just a huge letdown.
  • bujincarl
  • 11 mars 2022
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5/10

Myst the movie

Remember that computer game from the 1990s called Myst? This is like that video game, puzzles, creepy atmosphere, cool sound effects, difficult to figure out. Unlike the game of Myst no one has made a walkthrough of this movie yet. I kind of liked what I saw but I understood very little of it. This isn't a terrible movie, but it is slow paced, and like mentioned by numerous others, difficult to figure out. The surface story is clear enough but the underlying mystery needs a bunch more explaining. There are a lot of good effects that are totally creepy and the ideas behind the story make it worth a watch if you are curious.
  • LeastMostWanted
  • 15 nov. 2022
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3/10

Not good

This didn't work for me. It reminded me the video rental times in the worst way.

I don't like to speak a lot about films I don't like. I prefer just to say that the plot is predictable, I am not a fan of the editing style and I never felt that I was really into the film, a bit too amateurish for my own taste. Good performance of the main actress tho.
  • PedroPires90
  • 20 mars 2022
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7/10

Whoa... This is a very, VERY different type of Horror movie. Extremely atmospheric and 'Out There'...

I should say right off that many people probably will not care for this movie. It has TONS of mood and atmosphere, and the soundtrack is powerfully effective in creating this suspense. But, for those looking for a straight forward, linear film, with lots of Horror Action, this is definitely not it.

The director even uses title cards for each section, and each section is like its own little vignette with its own strange, unique mood. Each sequence does indeed fill you in somewhat on the story with some flashbacks worked in, but overall this movie is ALL about oddness and atmosphere. Almost everything is mood generated as the couple begin to search around the island. So, first and foremost, this is more of a throwback to an old Gothic style story with great storms, foggy forests, and some nicely worked in visuals here and there. This movie is a little bit 'DAGON', with little bit 'THE FOG', mixed with The Supernatural, and with a bit of Lovecraft thrown in (which I guess IS being a bit redundant 😊)

But, if you are looking for a lot of Action, this is not it. Trust me, it is ALL mood and atmosphere, so if that is something that you can appreciate and enjoy, then yes, just like me you might really enjoy it and find that it is made very well and creates a real Creepy vibe. But, remember, it is very slow paced with more 'Weird' than over the top 'Horror' The camerawork is very effective. The director consistently uses this close-field focus effect where you can't quite make out anything just beyond what is presented immediately in front of you. This creates a lot of suspense, because you keep wondering what is in the background until it comes into focus. It can be a TAD annoying at times, but I felt that overall it was fairly effective.

The acting is pretty good, with the main woman lead having to carry the majority of the movie. I personally thought the beginning and ending 'wraparounds' with the mom could have been done better. And, without giving anything away, I would have ended the film just a little earlier, dispensing with the last 'Coda' at the end. I think that would have carried a bit more of a 'Punch'.

So, no, this movie is NOT for everyone and many might even find it very slow and uneventful, as some have said here. BUT... if you really get into super Moody and Atmospheric, kind of throwback Gothic flavoured films rather than tons of action, there is a good chance you also might like this one.
  • lathe-of-heaven
  • 13 mars 2022
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5/10

Can the writers tell us where to find Haskel?

  • cassandra-petersen
  • 13 mars 2022
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7/10

About as Good as Low Budget Horror Can Be

Premise is a standard horror trope. Someone called back to a remote town or village by what seems to be circumstance, but ultimately is a plot by a mysterious evil peril. And in this case, we seem to be borrowing the milieu from Lovecraft.

This film is anchored by a protagonist who has to carry the entire enterprise on her shoulders. Jocelin Donahue pulls it off. She is lovely, tired, scared, confused and is a solid actress that makes it work. No other character has that much screen time or relevance, but nobody really does a bad job. Melora Walters is solid in her role as Marie's mom.

The little town filled with weird people who don't ever answer questions when you ask. The plot device of a townie who pulls you aside to let you know something isn't right and they will help. There is nothing new here. And we have a low budget, and no grand affects. So we need pacing, music, flashbacks, quick cuts to keep us engaged and for the most part the director, Mickey Keating does a good job.

The story is about impending inevitable doom. So this is just a ride watching Donahue's Marie character react as she is led further and further into the trap being set by evil.

We start, carry on, and end in fairly standard horror movie fashion. There is nothing new or wild here. But overall, it is engaging and fairly well-done. This type of horror maybe lacks the cheap scares that certain movie-goers require, but as a fan of horror, I can appreciate it for what it is. A well executed small budget horror movie.
  • jdowney-57-371157
  • 12 mars 2022
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2/10

Failed so hard.

Clearly this movie is trying to take some inspiration from Lovecraft but it's just all done wrong.

A movie needs more than just a woman running here then running there.

So much could of been done with this but it just didn't happen.
  • Dodge-Zombie
  • 23 juin 2022
  • Permalien
8/10

Atmospheric, Lovecraftian Horror Film

This is one of the earliest movies for 2022 that I learned about. It technically was making its festival round last year, making it officially a 2021 release for most purposes. For most of us that didn't catch it at one of these, it came out this year though. I've heard some good things from voices in podcasting so that also made it a movie I moved up my list.

Synopsis: after receiving a mysterious letter, a woman travels to a desolate island town and soon becomes trapped in a nightmare.

We get a story here that is told in six chapters and an epilogue. The movie starts with showing us documentary style or home movies of people enjoying the beach. Being that this movie takes place mostly on an island, we see how good it can be. The movie then shifts to a desolate beach to set the tone of the reality here.

Then we go over to Ava Aldrich (Melora Walters). She doesn't want to go back somewhere and this stresses her out. It then shifts to her daughter. She is reading a letter from H. Gierson (voiced by Larry Fessenden). This letter is telling how her mother's grave was vandalized. She must come at once to decide what to do. Coming with her is her boyfriend, George Darrow (Joe Swanberg).

They come over a bridge that rises. The man who runs it is played by Richard Brake. He warns the couple that he cannot let them in. The island is going to be closed off soon. Marie shows him the letter and tells him that they will be quick. He is leery but relents. They arrive at the cemetery to assess the damage. The problem is that they cannot find H. Grierson. They look around for him and get separated. Marie encounters Miss Emily (April Linscott), an odd old woman who runs a flower store in town. Marie also meets others with white eyes that won't respond to her.

Marie finds George and they go to a local bar to see anyone there knows where the caretaker is. The locals there are acting odd, including Henry (Jeremy Gardner). He says things to Marie about he will be awake and will get her off the island if she needs it. She is creeped out by this. The couple get back in the car and she reveals what her mother told her. This upsets him and he says they need to get off the island before it is too late. She agrees. The problem is that things happen and it strands them. We get more insight into Marie's past as well as more about her mother. She didn't want to come back, but her will said otherwise. Marie believes there's dark forces pushing things into place. This is only the beginning of the nightmare.

That is where I want to leave my recap as well as giving a bit more back-story. I don't want to go into spoilers as this movie gets wild. We get an interesting premise that has a Lovecraftian vibe to it. It also has elements to the story that aren't new, but I like how they are used. Where I'll start is the setting. This is on an island that closes over what I'm assuming is the fall until the spring. This creates tension from the moment our couple arrives. There is limited time, so when they look for H. Grierson and can't find him, it just builds. Adding more to this are the odd townsfolk. They don't seem to like outsiders and there is just something off about them. Since this is Lovecraftian, I'm assuming they're using elements of 'The Shadow Over Innsmouth'. This is also any movie where we have a small, isolated town near the coast as well.

What also helps is the bit of back-story elements we get throughout. We know that Ava was terrified. She convinced Marie to not let her be brought back. It seemed that she was dealing with dementia. She could also just be terminally ill and not in the right mind. Also, it is hard to overturn the will, especially when her mind was going like it was. There is an interesting scene where Marie gets into an argument with a couple of lawyers, Mr. Clayton (Jonathan Medina) and Ms. Gardner (Eliza Shin). There is a comment about if she fights this that should be considered a 'problem child'. This isn't explored beyond that, but I found it interesting that they are gaslighting her. We also subtly get things dealing with Henry, the fisher, and the relationship between Marie and George. Not everything plays into the movie overall, but it adds depth to help us connect more with the characters.

Now the last bit for the story I want to go over would be the darker, supernatural elements. I'm going to tread lightly as I don't want to spoil things. Marie reveals that her mother believed there was a demon associated with this town. Ava told her there was a man who came from the sea in the past when the settlers of this place were struggling due to the storms that hit the area. They made a pact with him. George doesn't buy it. He thinks the people here are odd, but that is it. Even before this story is shared, we see a stone building. There is an altar of sorts with a creature on the side. I didn't remember this with my first watch so I'm glad I came back. I like how these elements get developed to the ultimate reveal.

The next element I want to go into would be the acting. I'm a big Donahue fan. She's good here. I like her as our lead who doesn't believe in the supernatural but starts to quickly into her time on the island. I think that develops in a realistic way. She was warned and what she was told fits. We have a solid cast around her. I like Swanberg who brings a bit of attitude to his role that worked. Brake is great in these unhinged type roles. I liked to see Gardner here and hearing the voice of Fessenden. I think this cast is solid to push Marie where she ends up.

Last things to go into would be the cinematography, effects and soundtrack. For the former, this is shot well. There are Silent Hill vibes here with this island. We don't see a lot of people and it adds a creepy factor. Plus, we get mist that makes it more eerie. The cinematography is well done with building this atmosphere. I'll pull in the soundtrack as well. It was funny that while watching this, my wife came down to say that the music was creepy. I agree with her and I like the element that it adds. The last thing would then be the effects. We don't get a lot of them, but this isn't necessarily that type of movie. What they do with eyes of people, making them white is unnerving to me. We also get something else in this movie that was great to see. It fits with elements that are given.

In conclusion, this is a movie that I heard good things about. What I knew ticked boxes and this movie lived up to that. We have an interesting set up with this isolated island. I like how it traps our characters there. There are Lovecraftian elements that make it even more eerie. The cinematography is good and the soundtrack is great in building the atmosphere. Donahue works so well as our lead with the rest of the cast pushing her to where she ends up. This is a solid movie that works in the realm that is building for me. I'd say that after this initial viewing, this is a good movie. With a second watch, it confirms what I thought the first time around.

My Rating: 8 out of 10.
  • Reviews_of_the_Dead
  • 23 mai 2022
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7/10

Silent hill vibes without the intersting monsters

During my whole watch through of this film I had one singular thought coursing through my mind, "This would have made a hell of a survivor horror game". For those uninitiated, it's a genre of games where your primary objective is to escape the horrifying goings-on around you. People lost in a strange town they can't escape from, people being chased in a forest by unknown assailants, that sort of thing. This movie is right up the alley of that genre and I swear that even the soundtrack was reminiscent of the first Silent Hill (the game, not so much the film of the same name although it can also be argued that that it could be an inspiration for this movie).

There's a weird island/town, a distinct sound (the raising of the bridge), weird townspeople that act absolutely crazy, and a lot of fog. As a fan of Silent Hill, I immediately drew the comparisons and think I enjoyed this movie that much more because of it. Not because the movie was bad on its own, per se, it was just that I really liked how things transpired throughout the film, in a way that clearly reminded me of one of my favorite gaming franchises.

That being said, the acting in this movie is really well done (even the townspeople play there roles perfectly), and while the movie is light on actual scares, I was effectively creeped out at certain points, especially by the town florist. The music was effective and really put you in the mood, and the movie looked good (in that there was obvious care put into the cinematography, set pieces and framing of each shot). The only sour note in the whole movie were the special effects. They were sparse, and when they did show it, it looked cheap and obviously home made. There are more effective ways to use practical effects than this, so it kind of ruined a movie that had a lot of good thing going for it.

Overall, if you are a gamer and enjoy survival horror, you'll like this movie. Everyone else will find it very hit or miss.
  • manuelasaez
  • 18 mars 2022
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1/10

Fell short

I stuck it out because I wanted to see how it would all turn out. Maybe it was just one of those slow burn films, I thought. The plot seemed promising, but it was just an hour and a half of a woman running around fog world Silent Hill. Nothing more. Don't waste your time.
  • juliaaw01
  • 11 mars 2022
  • Permalien
2/10

Lots and lots of walking and dramatic music

  • sns02215-602-659137
  • 2 mai 2025
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1/10

Outright Stupidity

This movie is based on nonsense. The filmmakers think the audience are stupid maybe. Where do I start, two people going to a secluded island in modern times and both of them don't have cell phones? And then when the main character gets lost and was looking for a land-line to call for help she goes into many stores where phones are ringing and didn't even bother to use one of them? Wow, I just don't understand how actors even accepted to take part in this garbage. Don't waste your time like I did.
  • warcryz
  • 13 avr. 2022
  • Permalien
4/10

Underwhelming at best with very few positives

After being informed of a pressing emergency, a woman and her boyfriend return to her hometown to investigate the claims of her mother's grave being desecrated, but the longer they stay the more convinced something otherworldly is inhabiting the island and must solve the mystery to get away alive.

For the most part, this was a rather solid if troublesome effort. When this one works is due to the rather effective atmosphere of unease and discomfort established around the island. The general look of the area is perfect for this kind of mysterious build-up, with the entire area covered in fog from the gloomy cemetery to the rather bizarrely-deserted streets in town that focus on her running around trying to figure out the reason why she's there. The lack of answers about what's happening around her, the behavior of the locals, and the various encounters she has with those left who are clearly hiding something and lying about what's going on which all give this one a rather unnerving setup the longer she's there and the more frantic she is to leave. With some decent confrontations involving something supernatural in the area occurring at select intervals around the latter half of the film and the full reveal of what's actually going on giving this a satisfying finish, there are some likable elements. That said, there are some big issues present here which really drag the film down. The main detriment is the lack of explanation for what's going on, preferring to wallow in the mystery angle of everything rather than actually spend any time offering clues as to what's going on. The fact that there's so much time in the film spent running around trying to figure out how to get an answer out of someone which doesn't provide this one with any kind of enjoyable scenes during this time. With very little happening here and very few answers given about everything until the end, this one feels somewhat frustrating for the first two-thirds until there's a last-ditch effort at offering a setup for the events to come. That also manages to make this feel like an unnecessarily longer film than it really should, since this easily could've been trimmed down into an anthology film entry instead of being a standalone film, which are all the factors that hold this one down.

Rated Unrated/R: Violence and Graphic Language.
  • kannibalcorpsegrinder
  • 20 juin 2022
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6/10

Turn around, look at me

  • ferguson-6
  • 18 mars 2021
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3/10

Rather dull cosmic horror

This is a well produced but dull take on cosmic horror. The basic plot of the film is reminiscent of Lovercraftian stories and films, Dagon being the closest to mind. Acting isn't bad, but the story is lifeless and largely devoid of any frightening material. It just plods along without clarity and relies on a basic simple premise to somehow be worth the time spent watching. It isn't worth it.
  • jmbovan-47-160173
  • 30 juil. 2022
  • Permalien
6/10

An interesting journey to a predictable destination

I'm the type of viewer who doesn't mind seeing people walking around, investigating an interesting setting for long stretches of time. If you like to see a film with regularly-marked story beats and linear progression, this one ain't for you.

Really enjoyed the efforts to create atmosphere in thick layers, especially some earlier scenes in an ocean-side grove. At times I could sense a Lucio Fulci vibe, which the director effectively channeled. Actors are all working hard and do a good job.

It's all very watchable, but the conclusion holds no real surprises. The film runs fairly short, and left me with a curious feeling - even if it ultimately goes nowhere, I wanted an enjoyable ride to last a little longer.
  • tellstar
  • 14 mars 2022
  • Permalien
3/10

Get your flashlight ready! Wandering Around: The Movie

Really, that's the bulk of what you're watching. This filmmaker focused far too much of his efforts on atmosphere. That is the one thing the movie has in spades, and I'd say there were even a few creepy scenes. But what a flimsy premise. Chick gets a letter saying she hs to go to this island because her mother's grave has been desecrated, and to talk to the caretaker. Yup. That's the engine that runs this flick. Apparently, this director's only direction for the remaining actors was, be really "sinister." Literally, that's all you're gonna get. And that includes the guy she goes with. Which is who? I must've fallen asleep when they handed out that info, but he was a real jerk to her (and yes, even he goes sinister, even before going undead!).

Actually, a lot of these performances to me were comical. Just OTT trying to be sinister. Like, we get it. There's one scene at a bar, where they are desperately trying to find the caretaker, and that is REAL funny to the locals. Why? It's never revealed. Hell, we don't even meet the caretaker! One guy is real enigmatic (and sinister) to her. Can he be trusted? Sure as hell seems not.

So the people on the island make a deal with a demon, chick's mother escapes, she ain't the same, but someone, somehow buries her there? And I care, why? Oh, back to foggy wandering.
  • selfdestructo
  • 26 août 2022
  • Permalien
9/10

Excellent Atmospheric Horror

For those that enjoy truly atmospheric horror similar to those of the late 60s and 70s will love this film. For those looking for gore, action, and cheap thrills this isn't for you. This film had the feel of such independent classics as "Let's Scare Jessica to Death", "Carnival of Souls", amongst others. It also has a bit of HP Lovecraft going for it. It stars one of my favorite horror film actresses that I just wrote a review on for the film Summer Camp (2015), Jocelyn Donahue (House of the Devil, The Frontier). It also stars Joe Swanberg (You're Next, V/H/S), the always intense Richard Brake (31, 3 From Hell), and Melora Waters (The Accursed, The Butterfly Effect) and directed by Mickey Keating (Carnage Park, POD). The daughter of a famous actress receives a letter to return to a town where her monthly was buried due to vandalism of the gravesite. Once she and her boyfriend arrive they find it nearly impossible to leave as they encounter strange people and strange events.

Trivia Fact: This was filmed in my county about 5 miles south of where I live. I just leaned this at the end of the film and loooking it up.
  • gemandeye1
  • 12 juin 2022
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6/10

Light on plot, heavy on atmosphere

Nice atmosphere, a few good shots to give a bit of dread here and there. This is kind of a horror-lite movie with modern film making sensibilities. No blood / gore nor anything that qualifies as a jump scare. Light on plot. I give it a 5/10 because I like the style, and +1 star because it was apparently filmed in New Smyrna Beach, which is pretty cool because I've been there many, many times. This is the kind of horror film you might show someone who's squeamish. The film has some vaguely Cthulu-esque references but I wouldn't characterize it as a film in that mythos per se.

Also, when did IMBD start requiring 600 characters minimum in reviews?!
  • thrax-23316
  • 4 sept. 2022
  • Permalien
1/10

Dumb, and dumber, and dumbest

Popped up on the Hulu home screen so we decided to watch it. The plot was dumb, the stupid people were dumber, and we were the dumbest for spending two hours watching this POS.

There is no real connection between the things that are happening and the woman makes the dumbest choices I've ever seen. Puts me in mind of that commercial about people in horror movies making the dumbest decisions- "let's go hide behind the chain saws in the garage." Even for a movie of this genre, there should be some kind of connections between events and occurrences, and sadly there are none whatsoever in this film.

Plot= dumb. Actions by the main characters= dumber. Us for watching= dumbest.
  • hoops-53436
  • 10 déc. 2022
  • Permalien
5/10

Never quite nails the atmosphere

I saw Offseason listed on a particular website's year-end roundup of 2022's best horror. I think it was the AV Club but I'm not certain. Anyway, the writer described it as feeling like old-time radio, and I didn't have any other misty New England coastal films lined up for the month of October, so I slotted it in.

The film starts on a bad note--pretty much literally. The music is very in-your-face and melodramatic. I think a quieter, moodier score would have better accentuated the atmosphere. Our main characters are driving into a small island town because the heroine has gotten word that her mother's gravesite was desecrated. As the film goes on you find out that her mother was a film star who escaped the town and gave her daughter strict orders not to bury her there, under any circumstances, but a mysterious change in the will forced our heroine's hand.

Intriguing premise and some good ideas, but you have to stick with it to get anywhere worthwhile. The main couple is obnoxious right off the bat, passive-aggressively sniping at each other in the car. You'd like there to be some kind of sympathetic back story that gives depth to their strained marriage, but you don't get it. After a few moments in the graveyard that aim for eerie but come across as simply overblown (the crisp digital cinematography doesn't help--the scenes are overlit in a way that works against the overcast, sea salt melancholy), you get the obligatory "strangers in a small town" scene where they step into a local pub and the cheerfully noisome locals immediately go DEAD SILENT as all heads turn to leer at the newcomers. A cliched moment like that really has to be handled with delicacy to avoid seeming like parody, and in Offseason it's one of many moments when I wasn't sure if I was meant to be amused or unsettled.

Our heroine's flashbacks to her mother's final days give a bit of weight to her otherwise insubstantial character, and the payoff of the last few minutes is enough to make me forgive the movie's lack of originality. I can't help but think there was a much more interesting angle for the writer/director to take on the story, though, rather than this cobbled-together Lovecraftian pastiche that brings nothing new to the mythos.
  • nightwishouge
  • 20 oct. 2023
  • Permalien

An 'emergency' at a cemetery? That alone is one the most idiotic premises I've ever heard!

Here's the set-up: A young woman receives a letter (yes, this film WAS made only 3-4 years ago) from the cemetery where her mum's buried. The letter states her mother's plot has been vandalised. She's to come there as soon as possible, and with 'utmost discretion'.

Ok, right off the bat, this alone is so inept that it's frightening grown adults have been given ANY funding to film.

What kind of 'emergency' could be so severe that the next of kin couldn't handle it over the phone and at their convenience?

"Instead of roses, the latest monthly flowers arrived for your mother's tomb, and they're daisies."

"Oh, my goodness! Cancel our trips, book an emergency flight to get to this cemetery in person, go to the nearby florist, and speak - in PERSON - with whoever mucked it up! Damn it; I don't care if I've to waste these airline tickets to Bali; just book me on any flight to the closest airport near the cemetery! Don't forget a hotel room and everything else, because - daisies, my god, I will be stuck with this 'urgent emergency' for months!!!" The 'utmost discretion' bit, even the royal Windsors don't need 'discretion' - when someone's ALREADY dead, there's NOTHING that - in ANY way - demands urgency.

This is the film's set-up, folks. If your intelligence is higher than that of a grain of rice, hearing this is enough to make you roll your eyes and say, 'I think I could better spend my time holding my breath than watching a film whose plot is so ridiculous, any intelligent 5-year-old would say, 'this sounds like crap.' As Judge Judy Scheindlin's book cover said, "Don't pee on me and tell me it's raining," there's a given that going to any film involves suspending a certain amount of disbelief, it's garbage like this - 'written' (and I use that word VERY lightly) by someone who has the intelligence of a 'pinhead' baby which makes so many things made in the past couple of decades, AWFUL.

This is what a generation brought up doing nothing more than video games, F'booking, schools which don't teach, and having parents who told them they're the 'best in the whole world' brings:

Garbage. Its just as if the film Idiocracy's become reality, and everyone's an idot.
  • UNOhwen
  • 24 juin 2024
  • Permalien

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