L'attaque du crocodile géant

A large crocodile terrorizes a Thailand resort. An American croc farm owner gets accused by a couple of local brothers of being the one responsible for this creature. So this guy hooks up with a crocodile hunter to deal with the beast.

This is a typical Sci-Fi Channel movie. The Sci-Fi Channel sure likes its water-based monster movies – crocodiles, octopuses, sharks, piranhas – it's never ending really. This one is pretty much no different to the rest; it's a completely derivative creature feature, full of bad CGI effects. Michael Madsen is the name actor and he sure looks like he just turned up for a paid holiday in Thailand. I can't say I blame him mind you as the location photography is often very nice, the Thai setting is the one thing that sets the film apart from others of its ilk. There are a few gory set-pieces that keep things quite lively, such as the attack in the swimming pool and the croc does get to burst up into a water-based house. Although the ending is a bit lacklustre to say the least.

This is a pretty watchable film to be honest. Not exactly good but passably entertaining.

A crocodile farm in Thailand is threatened with closure after a few code violations. Behind this surprise inspection lies a real estate developer who wants the land where the farm sits. He will stop at nothing to get the land, even sabotaging the cages to let the crocodiles loose. And when local swimmers are being devoured, people start to notice.

My friend Chelsea and I watched this because she's been on a "bad movie" kick lately, and "Croc" was sure to fit that description, being part of the Man Eaters series (the same series that brought us the worthless "Blood Monkey"). I'm not sure if I was disappointed or not -- "Croc" is infinitely better than "Blood Monkey". Computer effects are used minimally, the acting is decent for the most part and there's an actual plot. And plenty of crocodiles, which was surprising after the absence of monkeys in "Blood Monkey".

I also have to give this film credit for not exploiting Michael Madsen. Madsen appears in the movie and plays a significant role (although he doesn't speak until the second half). Yet, the cover of the movie doesn't mention him at all. I've seen lower budget films exploit the names of mid-grade celebrities so often, I'm really impressed they decided to sell the movie with crocodiles rather than Madsen. Well played, "Croc" -- especially since this would have been an appropriate use for him.

The strength of this film is in the blood and guts. The makers of the film knew that they needed plenty of croc attacks and body parts, and we're treated to it. I also like how they explored a romance, but kept it to the bare minimum, making this more of a man versus beast picture. I learned from Sandra Bullock in "Speed" that relationships that develop during stressful events never work out.

Some things about the movie could be better. Some of the acting is poor (although not as much as you'd expect). And there's a scene with a crocodile in a swimming pool. How did he get to the pool? Can a crocodile hang out all day in a pool of chlorinated water? Granted, this scene ties up what would have been loose ends (watch it to see what I mean) with the plot... but what little I know about animal biology made this a bit hard to believe.

If you like animal-based horror pictures, let me say in all honesty: "Croc" isn't a bad choice and wasn't half as bad as I expected. It beats "Blood Monkey" by miles and even makes the boring "Prey" seem stupid. I'll always be a fan of "Jaws", but if you want a second-rate water movie (and you've seen "Megalodon") then this might be worth a spin. Hey, they made a "Croc 2" and who would make a sequel to a bad movie?

Abominable special effects threaten to sink this Thai "Jaws" clone, until, mercifully the makers decided to give the croc a break and focus on some more convincing local themes that resurrect this film from total and utter decay. Owner/operator of a struggling Thai zoo (Tuinstra) finds himself up against more than just the local corrupt businessman (Junsook) and his crooked, petty criminal brother (Saetong) when a large salt water crocodile that has migrated from Australia threatens the tourist trade. Predictably, he elects to hunt the creature himself, with the aid of his long suffering sister (Healey) her son (Hazell) an animal welfare official (Phungprasert) and a peg-leg drunken fisherman whose motivations are noble (Madsen) in spite of the $50,000 reward offered for its destruction.

The first twenty minutes of this action-thriller are diabolically bad in almost every facet, and there is real cause for concern that the picture is going to descend to grade Z depths. Alas, somehow, the amateurish acting improves (relatively) and the narrative even shows glimpses of local content – Madsen's quest to avenge the deaths of "those who couldn't swim fast enough", reminded of their suspended souls through photographs he keeps in the cabin of his boat, is a nice touch. But despite his compassionate interior, what would a Michael Madsen character be without a prop or two, and typically, alcoholism is again his preference ("a shot of OJ in your vodka?").

The filmmakers spare little in their pursuit of shocks, whether it's children dragged into the depths in front of hysterical parents, randy teenagers snatched while they canoodle in the surf, or just a pair of no-good villains being dismembered in their own pool. Such is the variety of severed limbs, torsos, decapitated heads and decomposing corpses (check out the rigor mortis in the croc's "larder") that it's surprising that some enterprising local didn't open a spare parts shop. One scene in which a distraught gangster's girlfriend identifies butchered remains beggars belief; how she managed to identify him from the meat pate into which he was minced is one of the movie's unintended laughs (and there are others to enjoy). At least it's good to see local talent, locations and bystanders involved in the filmmaking process, exposure essential to growing a more commercial film industry in Thailand.

I just finished watching this on Epix. It just happened to come on and I thought, "What the hell." So I left it play. The next thing I knew, I was all interested in the movie. The croc was well used. I was happy to see plenty of shots of real crocs. I liked many of the characters and loathed the greedy assholes. The kind of jerks that you're hoping so much that they get eaten. There were a few side story lines going on too. This is actually a pretty decent movie. I got sucked right in and couldn't stop watching it. I was interested in what was going to happen. The cast performed well and it didn't have many slow spots. I think it's worth a watch for those who like these kinds of movies. I'll watch all kinds of crazy stuff. This is a pretty good movie,

Another in Sci-Fi (SyFy) channel's never ending quest to rip off famous monster movies with silly copies, and rip human victims to pieces to accomplish this.

Mutant crocs develop a taste for human cuisine, and run amok in some Asian coastal town. Victims rarely have names, but plenty of spurting red paint when a croc makes a Big Mac out of them. Few characters get even one click above nameless slaughter-meat: an animal welfare agent (who also handles animal social security and animal medicare), a croc hunter (a Capt. Quint clone from Jaws), a carnival barker guy who does a sea-life Shamu type show, carnival barker's moronic cousin, and a stereotypical sunglasses and black suit bad guy in a limo (who looks like he was supposed to be in a kung-fu movie, but got on the set for this one by mistake). Said baddie has countless stooges who end up as croc snacks, of course.

The acting is questionable, but I've seen worse. The director gives this routine hungry monster flick some good pacing, although the script writer has offered nothing new. The croc is just some Animal Planet footage, and the dozens of decapitated heads are obviously Halloween masks with red paint splattered on them. I did like the puppy's acting; his barking was very realistic. He and the croc are the standout performers.

You'll know two minutes in who's gonna get devoured, and the fact that this film will win no Oscar awards. It is however, good cinematic fast food, which is all it's trying to be.