The Northman

I despise Robert Eggers' "The Northman"-truly, I hate this movie with a passion. And yet, I can't deny it's a visual marvel, maybe one of the most beautifully shot films ever made, so I'm grudgingly giving it 6 stars. The cinematography is jaw-dropping: every frame is a brutal, primal painting-icy fjords, blood-soaked earth, and firelit faces that scream raw power. It's a feast for the eyes, no question, with a meticulous beauty that almost justifies its existence.

But that's where the praise ends. The pacing is a slog-slow, plodding, and borderline torturous. What could've been a gripping Viking revenge epic drowns in its own artsy muck, sucking out any shred of entertainment. The story's thin as gruel, and the deliberate tempo feels less profound and more like a punishment. I wanted to love it, but the boredom killed me long before the credits rolled. It's a gorgeous bore-a stunning shell with no soul. Six stars for the visuals alone, because I'm not blind, just miserable watching it.

I hadn't realized this film was directed by Robert Eggers, else I would've been better prepared. It's not what I expected, and it was hard to really get into.

That said, I can appreciate the film for its art. I would say it's a gem for cinephiles. It's like viewing the imagination of a medieval Viking peasant as he listens to a bard tell the tale of Amleth.

Great for what it is, but does not evoke emotional connection to the characters, and therefore feels less satisfying.

Well, the movie's cover/poster definitely was interesting enough to catch my attention. And I figured that with the movie's 7.8 rating on IMDb, in this writing moment, then I would be in for something grand here.

And I will admit that I was excited to see what writers Sjón and Robert Eggers had in store for me here with the 2 hours and 17 minutes that the movie ran for.

However, I must say that while "The Northman" was watchable, it was ultimately just another run-of-the-mill Viking-inspired movie, for better or worse. Sure, it was a watchable movie and entertaining enough for what it was. But don't get your hopes up for this one. If you've seen other Viking movies, or TV series for that matter, then you already know what you are in for here. Yeah, director Robert Eggers didn't deviate much from the how-to-make-a-Viking-saga-movie blueprint.

Visually then "The Northman" was interesting, as it definitely felt like an era-appropriate movie. I did like the props, costumes, sets, scenery, etc., because it definitely looked and felt like what is usually associated with the Vikings era.

"The Northman" has a good cast ensemble, with the likes of Alexander Skarsgård, Nicole Kidman, Claes Bang, Ethan Hawke and even Willem Dafoe. All great talents, sure, but some of them do raise a wondering sensation as to why they were cast for a Viking movie. But on the other hand, I will say that casting Icelandic singer Björk for the movie, despite being a minor role and appearance, was just phenomenal.

Something that didn't sit well with me in "The Northman", was the fact that it was English language based. Sure, I understand that from a wider appeal to the audience approach. But it just feels wrong having Vikings speak English, it just takes away from the atmosphere and the believability. And also the supernatural aspects were somewhat baffling to me. Sure, I understand that the Valkyries are a part of Norse lore, but having a pale woman with retainers on her teeth screaming and sitting on a flying horse just doesn't really work.

I was expecting more than just your average generic Viking movie from director Robert Eggers, and I was somewhat disappointed when the movie just turned out to be a run-of-the-mill Viking movie. It could and should have been so much more, especially for a production of this magnitude.

While "The Northman" is watchable and entertaining enough for what it turned out to be, then this is hardly a movie that I will be returning to watch a second time.

My rating of "The Northman" lands on a six out of ten stars. It is the atmosphere, the brutality in the movie, and some of the performances that managed to snag the rating up from five to a six star rating for me.

If you expect a Gladiator type movie with the depth it comes with, you will be have a disappointing experience, like my wife who rated it a 1/5.

If you expect a gory viking slaughterfest with mythical elements, you will be very happy like me and rate it higher. I honestly did not know what I was in for which made me glad I watched it.

I guess it helps if you like violent gory movies. I suspect my wife only wanted to see a trimmed Alexander without his shirt on and she got that, even though he was mostly covered in guts and blood =)

Some fight scenes are exceptionally nice shot without cuts which makes me wonder if they really did shoot it in one take or used movie trickery. I don't really care as it was impressive.

Did it leave a lasting impression? No, not really. Well worth the movie ticket for me in any case.

But yeah. Not much depth to it IMO.

Robert Eggers does it again! This isn't just another viking movie, it is one of the BEST dramas ever! GREAT action & emotional too. A fitting end, while also setting up what's next. It is a stunning tale of betrayal and obsessive revenge. With excellent world building saturating every frame, it's one of the most transporting, magical, action-soaked films in some time. Must watch.