The Machine

I think 6/10 is very fair here. It's not a great movie, and that's ok. If you like Brent Chrysler, you'll be entertained by this movie. I can see why he was so happy with how the movie turned out, it's just all him being something he's not for two hours (which again, is fine!). I can tell this was really just something that everyone involved with had a lot of fun with, from the actors to the editors with those kitschy transitions and strange Russian subtitles. It's quirky, and I think it works here.

Mark Hamill was a crazy get for this movie and I can't believe he agreed to do it. It definitely helped the movie's case. Jimmy Tatro was a good casting for young Bert as well.

One observation to make- Bert's character in this is literally Po from Kung Fu Panda. It's just a fat guy who dumb lucks his way through everything until the very end when his actions seem a bit more intentional and he accepts who he really is inside.

It's a comedy set in Serbia and it's trying to be about Moscow and Russian gangsters and it's incredibly unrealistic and cliché but it does have some originality and a nice message at the end.

However apart from Oleg Taktarov's great cameo (one of the few genuine standouts) there is few other actors playing Russians. This doesn't work for the accents. It's far-fetched and completely unrealistic.

There are very fast edit scenes where Bert is one place then another in an easier location to knock-out a bad guy.

Plot-wise it is very thin. A lady loses her father's watch so kidnaps Bert's daughter and takes him on a joy-ride to get the watch.

Soon the twists and turns of an unpredictable and stupid plotline come forth. It's another low-budget action flick on Netflix when I could have watched something better instead. Dull.

It's also highly-ignorant of the war and Russia's aggression right now and something could have been included in the screenplay. Or better yet it could have been Serbian gangsters then it would have been more honest!

I've never heard of Bert Kreischer so clearly I'm not a fan of his comedy, but nor can I hate it, and as such, the same goes for this film. The Machine was loud, obnoxious and overbearing, and nothing about this comedy should've worked, but it played well to its strengths, and ended up being much more entertaining than it should've been. The casting - especially the villains, was over the top, but it worked even though it shouldn't have, just like Kreischer and Mark Hamill shouldn't have worked, but it did, mostly from their hilarious dialogue and antics. It's not the greatest comedy out there, but it's also not the worst, and we did have a bunch of laugh out loud moments, so that's a good sign. This machine works best with lots of high-octane fluids and with your gears in neutral. It's dumb fun and a decent one-time watch, especially with all the slim pickings out there.

Only went because my SO likes him. Saw him on tour without knowing a thing about him and knowing now that the Russian story was a big part of his act, the crowd at the show went wild when it came up. Now it's turned into a feature film.

Went at 1pm on Friday and we were the only two people in the theater. Maybe because it's rated R and my area isn't known for doing well with rated R movies or maybe because it's a 1pm show, but two people for a show doesn't bode well for its popularity.

Moving on to the movie... it was too long... way too long. Frankly I looked at my watch and it was only about 80 minutes in and it was already dragging. My SO laughed a lot and I had a chuckle here and there. If I were watching it alone I would have probably walked out and given it one star but because my SO was happy, it earned extra stars. I wouldn't recommend it and frankly seeing some of the reviews of people that love Bert say it wasn't good is somewhat sad.

I'm able to switch my brain off and kinda just waltz thru movies that are at that level so it was a solid 5 stars. It's overproduced for what it is and that's probably why I give it a 5, but it's "The Machine" story being milked for what it is, a good story that, as time goes on, start to feel more like an overinflated teenager's story that loses any sense of credibility at all, that is not a great story after all. It's unfortunately the thing that pushed me to realize that I'm getting a bit tired of Bert's inflated ego and that maybe outside of the machine and his forced high pitch laugh, he doesn't have much else to offer.