City Rats

This was the worst, most pretentious load of absolute inane rubbish I have ever had the misfortune to watch.

Luckily, however I managed to get my £3's worth (that's what it cost in Tescos) by watching 'the making of City Rats' in the extras part of the DVD. This was hysterical. The horrible, misogynistic and clearly sexually perverted director is on the biggest ego trip of his life and has managed to drag everyone else on this production along with it like some pied piper of doom.

There are some great lines like 'I did some research - I'll miss playing Chris' (James Lance, the bloke with the bit part in Alan Partridge, on his thoroughly embarrassing portrayal of an autistic homosexual - Hoffman you are most certainly not).

'I read a lot of sh*t scripts - but they are made into a success by big Hollywood actors' - Hussan. True... but this script is the most sh*t one ever and it's only got you in it so that's even worse.

Danny Dyer said some really funny things too (in that sort of I'm trying to be a serious method actor kind of a way) and the guy out of that dull mid 90's Asian family on Eastenders definitely got the top w*nker award but I've forgotten what both of them said right now and I can't face watching it again so you'll have to check it out for yourself..

My favourite quote however is from the 1st AD (I think it was) who said... 'This is the part of the DVD you watch when you've watched the film so many times and you think there must be something else on here to watch.' I suggest he reads the first review of this film I ever read which says... 'I would rather f*st my own dead grandmother than watch this film again.'

What started as a thoroughly depressing waste of an hour and a half of my life turned into a hysterically funny evening (albeit helped by a half a bottle of Jack Daniels). Buy this DVD (but try and get it for less than the £3 I paid) and have a laugh at the expense of everyone's inflated and misplaced egotistical ramblings on the 'making of'. It just shows you what happens when a bunch of failed trustafarian film students in Notting Hill actually achieve what they have been threatening to do for the last 10 years once armed with daddy's cheque book.

It was ok .It had interesting interaction between the characters .The main actors included Tamer Husan and Danny Dyer so you know what kind of film it will be.

STAR RATING: ***** Saturday Night **** Friday Night *** Friday Morning ** Sunday Night * Monday Morning

London is a city full of people, moving about in droves, with little time for each other, facing straight ahead and barely noticing each other exists. From the top looking down below, people might well appear like 'rats', scurrying about to whatever garbage bin has attracted their attention. No one appears to have the time to look in the more solitary corners and see the sorry state of affairs going on there. In short, it's a terrible place to be lonely and stared down at. Yet the main characters presented in City Rats, each one linked to each other in some way which we find out about as the story goes on, prompt the sort of contempt which makes us inflict this grim fate on them but as events roll on, we are forced to see them in a different light and see less judgemental reasoning for how things turned out like they did for them. Starting with the ex drug dealer trying to buckle down to an honest living who is approached by the mother of a guy he used to know to help track him down, we move on to a wife beater separated from his family who whiles away his time dropping water melons from tall buildings and sharing phone sex with a crippled prostitute who finds herself the interest of a poet who lives on the floor below her. Meanwhile, a man takes his deaf, autistic brother on a tour around seedy Soho to help him lose his virginity and come to terms with his homosexuality.

Maybe we don't have the best actors to play them, but this is still a very impressive character study, that has a clever use of atmosphere, mood and soundtrack to engross us in what's going on. The whole 'water melons dropping from a building' thing is a bit weird and not explained properly but Tamer Hassan's character develops the most, with his relationship with a similarly suicidal young woman which has a devastating, abrupt conclusion. A small film with some flaws, but enough going on beneath the surface to make it shine. ****

I was unfortunate enough to watch this film thinking perhaps it was another English gangster flick in the spirit of 'The Business' having seen Danny Dyer on the cover. However, I was instead greeted by a distasteful and depressing flick lacking significant character development. Not only this but there on numerous scenes of young gay men covorting with each other with no real explanation as to why. Other themes include suicide and drug addiction but are all terribly portrayed.

If you want to see this sort of film done properly watch requiem for a dream or the korean film 'peppermint candy' starring Kyung Gu-Sol, avoid this film at all costs people, save yourself the time and painful headache, whoever made this movie needs a good councilor.

A Danny Dyer film, with the other guy, you know, Tanner Hassan, is that right, i'm not sure, but surely a cause for celebration following the exuberant Dead Man Running. But don't be fooled, this film has none of the mockney charm that these two ragamuffins can muster. I ain't no film critic so seeing a guy masterbating to his whore neighbour might not resonate with me as it might others, but I found the whole process somewhat redundant. Give me Malice In Wonderland, give me The Business, give me any other UK gangster film other than this bunch of pointless tripe. With all due respect to the Dyer and the Hassan-meister, this ain't your best work.