Astonishing Tales of Terror: Rocktapussy!

Astonishing Tales Of Terror: Rocktapussy, it's one of those titles that attracts your attention, but that make you highly suspicious about the quality of the movie. Since it was categorized in the Fantasy genre, a genre that is most of the times highly entertaining when it's made well I gave it a shot. I can't say that was a good decision. It's all very low budget, with a lot of scenes that make no logical sense at all, and with actors that should not give up their regular day jobs if they even have one. It's basically all about the boobs of Brigitte Kingsley, that will get your attention, but the rest is just below average, mediocre at best.

This is the kind of movie that only makes sense if you've seen a bunch of movies like it already. It's very random, very weird, with horrible writing, acting, and CGI.

The semi-titular Octopus is somewhat behind-the-scenes throughout the whole movie. But if you were expecting a giant octopus eating people as the plot of the movie, you were sorely mistaken. The movie is more like a mummy movie than a monster movie.

The biggest draw of this film is the main character's outfits, or lack thereof. On this one point, the film delivers. But it doesn't deliver in any other way. If you watch this movie, you know why you're watching it.

Astonishing Tales of Terror: Rocktapussy! Is truly contender for the most planted reviews, which credit the film with a higher than deserved rating because of the lead's partial nudity! It's truly astonishing that anyone would consider nudity a skill, or that any sort of film as poorly acted and directed would be given anything higher than a 2/10. Aside from the fact that the storyline I flimsy to the point of annoyance, there's the lack of direction, horrible creature effects, and sickeningly wooden dialogue. It's quite obvious that the bulk of this movie is the non-skill of being a fit woman. I'm sorry, Ms Kingsley, you couldn't act your way out of your own clothes. Avoid this stunningly horrible time waster.

This is what a good low budget B movie is all about. A story that is total nonsense, and characters that do not take their roles seriously. And really cheesy special effects. There is a breakthrough by three men in a mine, into a series of room, which turns out to be a bad idea, and only one survives, the other two taken by a creature. Meanwhile, Hunter, a reporter with her camera man Cam, are undercover at a strip joint, and Hunter, as a pole dancer, manages to catch the mayor as a fraud, corrupt as can be. Her rival, Annie, an airhead, and co-reporter Declan, equally dumb, provide fluff pieces, and Annie doesn't even know the name of her camera man. Years later, the closed off area of the mine is intended to be opened, using a special Russian invented laser. The sole survivor warns against opening that area, and when ignored, detonates a suicide vest, trapping everyone. The survivors have to try and find a way to escape. The creatures mostly seen are a cross between a trilobite and horseshoe crab, and can turn people into zombies. And if the creature escapes, it is doom for the human race. It is nutty, it is silly but it is also fun entertainment. Just don't try and make sense out of anything.

You never know what you'll get with independent, low-budget films, but this one was better than I expected. A cross between a 1950s alien movie and a fantasy-horror flick, it won't win any awards, but it was entertaining enough to keep me interested. The acting was mostly good, the production was stylish and titillation factor was high, thanks to Brigitte Kingsley's willingness to put it all out there. The plot was as thin as some of her outfits, but that's not why you invest 90 minutes of your life in a movie like this. The script included many humorous lines. The story held together for the most part, and the special effects were good enough. If you're looking for something you'll tell your friends they should watch so you can sound like a pretentious cinephile, this ain't it. But if you're looking to be amused for 90 minutes, I highly recommend. Just don't watch with your wife or girlfriend.