365 jours

Probably one of the worst movies of the century so far

I don't remember if I have reviewed another movie so far, but seeing so many 10/10 reviews determined me to log in to write this, to ballance things up a bit.

The movie is pretty bad. The plot (if you can call it that) is mostly absurd and the events are cliche and totally predictable (try to remember what somebody did or said in all the bad movies that you ever saw: yes, it's exactly what's going to happen), the events don't make a lot of sense, the dialogue is cringe, the characters are very cartoonish and unbelievable. What they say don't make a lot of sense, and also nobody reacts to events in the way a normal person would do. These are comic book characters, not people. When they try to suggest some of these people are crime lords it's hilarious, you can't help but chuckle. Real mobsters would have these guys for breakfast. Ironically, the fly girls in the movie are actually more believable, because the way they live it is more close to some girls I know.

I never saw any of the "Shades of Gray" movies, but for a good part it felt like a relative of those movies. The sex scenes are pretty convincing, I'm still unsure if the oral sex was actually simulated or not.

The good things I can say about this are (and each gets a star from me):

• the photography is pretty good, at least the cinematographer knew what he was doing
• the actors are generally pretty easy on the eye, the costumes are also solid, there are nice and diverse locations, hence there is always something appealing to look at on the screen
• the sex scenes are pretty good if you're into that kind of thing (I am)

Should you see it? Well I don't know, even with the low score that I gave it, I feel like people should make up their own mind and not take someone's else opinion on it. Besides, I think people should watch bad movies from time to time, to be able to understand better why other movies are good, and to be more appreciative of those, as a consequence.

So yeah, go watch it, but keep your expectations ridiculously low.

There is no plot to speak of, the dialogue is disjointed, the storyline is disjointed, and the ending is a joke... but don't kid yourself that you're watching for any of these things.

I do not even know where to start. Look, this is nothing but straight up porn. The plot is ridiculous, the chemistry between the two leads is nonexistent, and the acting is even worse. Trust me when I say, you will watch this in fast forward. It is that horrible!

I honestly don't know who thought that this movie would be a good idea. It is a complete train wreck for multiple reasons.

One of the biggest issues is the plot is just nonsense. It is inappropriate to have a man deiced that he will hold a woman captive and she will love him. That is just not ok and i don't know why they made a movie romanticising this idea. The male character is a creep. He assaults the female character multiple times and it is not shown as a bad thing. It's just like he is a man and he has power so he can do what he likes. It is really really bad. Beyond that they just do variations of the same scene 6 different times. This movie is just the same scene over and over again broken up with random montages with a song played over it.

The actions of the characters are nonsensical too. She has been kidnapped in a foreign country and then the next day there is a shopping montage where she is just like "woo lets go buy some new clothes". Like that just wouldn't happen, you would be terrified and she just acts like fine with it. I feel like they try to get the audience on side by making her current boyfriend a horrible person. I think they think the audience will be like "oh that's good she got away from him". Yeah she did get away from her bad boyfriend...by being kidnapped by an Italian mobster who is holding her captive????

The second issue is the leads can't act and a lot of the movie is just them interacting so its like watching an amateur dramatics troupe half of the time. Now i can't work this out but this woman who is kidnapped never seems scared like at all. I can't deiced if this was the direction she was given or she just can't act or the script said she isn't scared. She literally wakes up after being kidnapped and tried to open the door to get out, can't because its locked and is just like "Yeah fair enough" and just sits down like this happens every day.

On top of that the scenes with the male lead pushing her against walls and stuff she pulls like "Posing, modelling" faces and is not like "Jesus Christ the man is assaulting me help". Once again was this the direction or was it the acting who's knows?

It also relies heavily on "Pop" songs that are really loud and unnecessary. They constantly play one after the other and then when reading i found out the male lead sung like a big chunk of them so i guess production was just like "well he will give us them cheep let's throw them all in".

I could go one about all its problems but it all circles back to the directing, acting and the script. It was just a perfect storm.

Believe it or not it is watchable but in a way that you want to watch it to see the disaster. It is the no1 viewed film on a large amount of different countries Netflix's at the moment and i believe this to be the reason.

So its really up to you if you want to watch it. It is very boring but also a train wreck.