The Machine Girl

I have always thought of Japonesse comedy as being like Shakespeare comedy; funny to the people of the time and/or place but not to the rest of us. This is the first Asian film to not only make me laugh more than just a chuckle, but to make me cry with laughter and literally smack my knee. The reason that this is so good is because it seems as if writer director Noboru Iguchi took a step or two back too get a view of the Asian film market as a whole and even seems to have looked at it with a non-Asian eye to see how the rest of us see the market.

The deliberate over-the-top cheese and "happy family beginnings" were great fun, but its the wonderfully gory scenes that you'll remember. I don't want to go into too much detail so as to avoid spoiling the fun for those who haven't seen it, except to say that the scene with the main bad guy making his son drink his blood as a right of passage to the yakuzza is the main culprit for my man tears.

The only real problem of note is that the fun starts to dry a little as time goes on, the gore occurs less and less and the deliberate cheesy acting and dialogue almost gets tiresome (though it never actually is). It seems as if Iguchi used up all his best ideas too quickly in the first half and had to run with an empty tank for the last third.

Despite this its still always superb fun, and even though it is definitely gory, I recommend most people to see it, just cover your eyes if it gets too much at times!

If you only see ONE outrageously absurd and ridiculously over-the-top Asian splatter yarn this year - or even this lifetime, for that matter – you better make damn sure it's Noboru Iguchi's "The Machine Girl"! This stupendously demented piece of Japanese "Revengeploitaton" features king-size portions of all the regular and crowd-pleasing ingredients, like crazed stereotypical characters (Yakuzas, Ninjas, schoolgirls in uniform, …) and simplistic story lines, but it particularly specializes in extreme Magna-esquire gore and kitschy comedy. Beautiful and multi-talented schoolgirl Ami lives alone with her nerdy brother Yu since their parents committed suicide for falsely being accused of homicide. Ami protects her brother where she can, but she doesn't know he and his friend Takashi are the main targets of youthful bullies with prominent Yakuza-parents. The boys get killed, but nobody wants to help Ami because of her notorious family history and her sole attempts to get revenge literally cost the poor girl an arm. She finally gets help from Takashi's mourning parents, who also provide Ami with a machine-gun prosthesis. "Machine Girl" offers a wide selection of decapitations, dismemberment, close-up gunfire, stabbings, split-open skulls, chainsaw murders, fried limbs, slit throats, electrocutions, impalement and Samurai swashbuckling. Seen all of that before in other schlocky splatter fodder already? Well, yeah … but what about flying guillotines and drill bras? Most of the running time, the screen is literally colored red with gallons of fake blood and removed intestines, but the tone of the film continuously remains blackly comical and light-headed. The phenomenally berserk make-up effects, courtesy of Yoshihiro Nishimura, are often nauseating, but never truly offensive. "Machine Girl" definitely also stars a couple of ravishing and incredibly sexy Japanese actresses, like Ami, her partner in crime Miki and even the supremely bitchy Yakuza's wife. The battle sequences at the beginning and in the garage, as well as the entire final showdown of course, simply have to be seen to be believed. This outrageously grotesque movie is well-made, well-acted and directed and indescribably entertaining.

I first thought that I was watching something from the grind-house era, then I noticed that this movie is only two months old. If this is where we are going, then get some waders folks, as the blood pours in this film. I'm talking blood spurting like a lawn sprinkler every time someone gets a body part cut off. Believe you me, there are plenty of body parts flying in this film.

If you like seeing a chef eat his fingers on a sushi roll, if you like seeing arms and legs and heads cut off, if you like blood all over, then you will love this film.

Yes our Rose had a machine gun leg in Planet Terror, but in this film, you get a machine gun arm, and a chainsaw leg and a chainsaw arm. But that isn't all. You get to see a drill bra that just shreds some luscious melons.

If you are a comic fan, then you will enjoy this as it is definitely over the top.

The acting is terrible, the action is terrible, the story is terrible, the special effects are terrible but the gore is magnificent and that saves the movie completely... This isn't a horror movie that wants to spook you but wants to disgusts you... and oh boy, it really does... I've seen it on BIFFF festival at Brussels and I can assure you everybody loved it... the more bloody disgusting the gore was, the more fun we had... it didn't matter that it looked all fake like hell... and if you were looking for some originality in this movie, you would certainly find it in the gore. :-) So one advice: buy some beer and chips, and see this movie not alone but with some friends... a fun evening assured

After her brother is murdered by a ninja-yakuza clan, a teenage girl seeks vengeance with her gatling gun. First and foremost, this movie has enough blood spray to fill Lake Erie. The death scenes are numerous, highly inventive, and extremely entertaining. The pacing is just about perfect, with the action scenes positioned within the running time in such a way that avoids any dullness. One surprising positive is the camera-work, which shows blood sprays for incredibly long periods of time. This is definitely a movie that soaks itself in excess. The story itself plays out rather seriously, but the black humor is laid on thick during the fights, so some laugh-out-loud moments are almost guaranteed along the way. This is a very satisfying action gore-fest because of its impressively long finale.

I've already heard some artsy snobs complaining about this movie in terms of character development. I'm just wondering why these tards even decided to watch this movie to begin with. They should have known exactly what they were going to get. You don't see the name Tsai Ming-liang on the DVD case, do you?

This really was my summer blockbuster popcorn flick of 2008. Everyone else can have their little CGI prairie dogs, animated monkeys, and space aliens. You can have your superheros, sequels, and remakes (can Hollywood think of anything new?). The fact remains that THIS movie should be playing on 3,000 screens! That will never happen in the USA though with it's dumb-as-dirt moviegoers who flock like sheep to see the most derivative tripe dished out by those Californian bloodsuckers. Do you people have ANY standards whatsoever?

On a positive note, that's another success this year in terms of my most highly anticipated films. "Chocolate" (a Thai action flick), "The Machine Girl", and "Tokyo Gore Police were all insanely entertaining. And maybe "High School Girl Rika: Zombie Hunter" can round out a great 2008 for Japanese Horror.

You don't get great stuff like this out of the States. Man, is there any reason to watch American movies anymore?