Albino Farm

Four students head to the southern backwoods populated by freaky rednecks for a school project but stupidly seek out Albino Farm, a place where some seriously deformed looking hicks live. If you have seen any of the Wrong Turn movies then you know what to expect, only this one is far worse than the worst of those. The students are not only annoying characters but they are played by people who clearly cannot act. The freaks themselves do look pretty scary, however the picture is very dark and it is often difficult to see what is happening, which isn't much to be fair. Nowhere near as gory as the Wrong Turn movies, this is a very poor movie.

Well, I must say it was more than I expected- what a title! A quick description would be a mash-up of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Hills Have Eyes. This is classic low budget horror flick that ticks all the boxes for clichés(- see Scream!). The storyline is simple, four teenagers happen upon The Albino Farm and then the horror begins.

I won't say all the acting was bad- I'll just say not everyone was bad. In fact both the female performances were stellar- esp. semi nude scene- which was blatantly a body double. It kept me watching. I will admit the film was so bad that I stopped it playing twice. Maybe it was the shame of realising I actually wanted to know where this tripe was going or it may have been anger- that someone actually made this for my enjoyment.

Was it worth watching? It might be better than watching nothing. I've seen much worse than this.

I always watched Tammin Sursock on Home and Away years ago, it's such a shame that her career has not moved forward. This movie feels like it was filmed on someones home video camera. The cheapness is the main thing. It's just unpleasant to sit through. It feels like The audio was horrible and the continuity was often off, with characters moving ever so slightly in most scenes which was noticeable and annoying to watch. I don't know why you would agree to make this movie, I have worked on film sets before and you can tell when people know what they are doing or not, these people clearly were rushing. Even watching a sitcom is more realistic and fun to watch. Take "Dead Set" the British TV series for example, that was not a huge budget production but was an awesome adventure to watch. The camera angles have been taken into account poorly for the cheap cameras.

A rushed and cheaply filmed movie with no passion. 3 stars.

What could've been a very crafty and very intelligent piece of horror turns into a very formulaic and very familiar piece of the slasher film genre we see far too much of. Albino Farm's premise is interesting, but the execution is very poor, and we can see the movie struggle to maintain its short eighty-five minutes by delaying action until around forty minutes in.

Albino Farm takes forever to get going, and when it does, you only wish it had more to offer. The film focuses on four teenagers (Sursok Lagano, Richey, and Bala) who venture out to document the Ozark Mountains for a school project. When the duo get a flat, they head out to a gas station with a strange, unsettling owner who warns them to turn back. One of the dumbest, cockiest, lame-brained teenagers in recent memory convince the gang to travel up to see what the hype is about.

They stumble across the town of Shiloh, which looks like a ghost-town. They learn that many of the town folk fear a legend called "Albino Farm." The teens split up with two going in search of the farm, and two going in search of a church. After doing the genius thing of getting picked up by a hick and two identical twins, they are taken out and abandoned at the Albino Farm. Let the horror movie clichés, jokes, antics, and chase scenes begin.

I believe this film is based off of the legend of a group of College students adventuring around the Ozark Mountains and never returning home. Either this is the legend itself, or a followup to it. Whatever it is, it is poorly executed.

Low budget horror films can't be critiqued by their budget. What you have it what you have, and I believe I shouldn't penalize the producers, directors, etc for working with what they had. I can respect that. But so much is done poorly. In order to believe the characters, you have to throw logic out the window. What makes you want to venture out to the deep part of the Ozarks in the first place? Curiosity kills the cat, and when you stumble upon creepy woods, it's likely to kill you as well.

The sound editing is messy. One point there is dead silence, the next moment the bass almost blows your speakers followed up by very dim talking. Your remote may need to be in your hands at all times for this. Not to mention, the pitch dark lighting may call for a brightness tune up. What a temperamental film. You need to pretty much modify everything on your TV to be satisfied while watching Albino Farm.

This also seems to be influenced by every redneck-slasher film on the market today. Throw three great horror films like The Hills Have Eyes, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Wrong Turn in a blender and it'll spit out this mediocre horror flick. Creativity is here, but the execution is like a dog on a leash fighting to inch itself closer to its desired destination while the owner is tugging back. Imagine the producers as the owner, the movie itself as the dog, and the destination being "typical redneck film schlock." There's a metaphor that will sum this up.

The makeup effects is where this film starts to redeem itself in quality. The effects on the creatures are realistic, but then the film wants to add some digital effects on some of the people. You can pretty much do that on any free editing system, and do it a lot better. Not being a Mac user, I still am sure this can be done one way or another on the Photo-booth program that comes free with the computer. They can do that, but they can't add some sort of effect to brighten up the scenery.

I can tell the crew were serious about making this film like the legend or something close to it. They didn't fall on their neck as much as they fell on their face in their attempts with this. Albino Farm, still, could've been great b-movie horror. What we have here, is just lazy editing and a lazy script ripping off so much of every other movie in its genre. It's a copy of a copy.

Starring: Chris Jericho, Richard Christy, Tammin Sursok, Duane Whitaker, Alicia Lagano, Nick Richey, and Sunkrish Bala. Directed by: Joe Anderson and Sean McEwen.

Four college friends decide to stop of in a bizarre back-woods town full of people with birth defects while heading deep into the Ozark Mountains for a class assignment, entranced with these 'freaks' the group decides to investigate further much to their own detriment. The film is based, albeit extremely loosely, on the real Albino Farm. Also for any wrestling fan who only want to see it for Chris Jericho, you'll be disappointed as he's not in the movie much despite getting top-billing.

This is a dark film. Not really in subject matter, just that a good deal of the last half of the film is night time and more than a tad hard to see. This of course hampered my enjoyment of the film somewhat, but what I could see wasn't all that bad for a low-budget "Hills Have Eyes" clone. Some of the special effects were surprisingly effective (not counting the atrocious cgi towards the end of the film) and the acting was mediocre, yet well done enough for a film of it's ilk. There's absolutely no doubt that this movie won't set the world on fire, but it's competent enough to warrant a rental for undiscriminating fans of 'hillbilly horror'.

Eye Candy: Alicia Lagano's body double briefly flashes her breasts and Bianca Barnett gets topless but she's in 'pig bitch' make-up

My Grade: C-

MTI DVD Extras: Commentary by Co-writer, directors, producers Joe Anderson and Sean McEwen & co-producers Barry Curtis and Jason Stewart; a 24 & a half minute Behind-the- scenes featurette; a written essay on the legend of the farm; cast & crew bios;and trailers for this movie, "Pandemic", "Metamorphosis", "Killing Ariel" & "Cash"