- Erin Gorman: [about Blanca] Also, she needs to stop telling people I'm over weight. I thought that someone mistakenly told her my name was Ella. Turns out, she's doing it on purpose. Ella is short for elephant.
- Blanca Champion: Get your hands off me, chunk!
- Erin Gorman: I weigh 110 pounds. That's not fat. I have tried to be as nice as I know how. That's over. I'm giving you this warning: Stay away from Vance, or I'm going to get my cousins to go to your cabin, and have them hog tie and weigh you. Capiche?
- Blanca Champion: You know what? Screw this! I don't need this bullshit. This fucking method acting crap. 110 pounds my ass!
- Mike: [mocks Luke] Oh, hey, excuse me, Coach stick-up-your-ass, do you think I might massage your penis for a few minutes so I too can get a work out?
- Luke: Is it hard being such a douchebag all the time?
- Mike: Uh, no. No, I actually kinda like it.
- Luke: Loser.
- Lee Tyson: You do not talk to me that way in front of the crew. You finish out the day, after that, you're fired.
- Jake Tanner: That's fine, Lee. You know, I've worked with some real difficult people in my career, but you are a whole 'nother breed. And you what else? Nice job sleeping with your assistant. Very classy.
- Lee Tyson: Hey, by the way, too bad your fiancée wasn't on the show, Jake. I could've banged her before she moved on to the cast.
- Mike: I went through a bunch of trouble to make this fucking show for you. You're gonna watch it with me.
- Blanca Champion: I've already seen it. It's a piece of shit!
- Lee Tyson: Blanca Champion... all you can think to yourself is why can't this girl get her hands on some decent conditioner... just wash it! I don't get it. Can you explain it?
- Nik: Yeah, we have a real special relationship. I mean, how many guys can honestly say they've carried all 28 pieces of her luggage.
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