Dark Rising: Bring Your Battle Axe

As a girl, Summer Vale witnesses her father attacked by dark forces. She is taken by those dark forces into a brutal S&M existence. Jason Parks is organizing a trip with brutish friend Ricky. Marlene brings along his ex Jasmine as her lesbian partner. Renee uses her natural skills, a magic book, and a special place to call upon Summer Vale.

This is straight up B-movie territory. It's better than most but it's still bad. The dialogue is clunky and cheesy. It's not quite bad enough to be funny. Jason's jokey tones do not work. The lead is a bad actor. Why would Summer's childhood home still exist in pristine condition after 20 years? The demon design is a mess. The acting is mostly B-level. It is curiously watchable but lacks any goodness.

Sometimes I'm surprised how a movie can spawn something more than just the initial one that was released. Curious to a point but not to the extent I want to go out and check the other movies based on this or even the TV show. Now this is a teenagers wet dream (some teenagers), for male viewers for apparent visual and story reasons for female viewers because of the beautiful yet strong warrior woman on display.

There is nudity and there is comedy ... and there are some fights (overall fine though nothing to get too excited about). And there is one quite cool moment when the artist formerly known as Christian (Wrestling name) is on the receiving end of his own finishing move from his active days. Moments like this may be enough for some, but others will feel things missing. Script is ok, but nothing special. Have seen worse of course if that makes it better ...

This movie kept me up one night not because it was scary but because it fell into that category of movie that is so bad in that way that you can't tear yourself away. Cheesy is the word. Bare bones plot, bad FX, guys and girls on a camping trip, skin shots and some gratuitous sex(that means it has nothing to do with the plot, just there because it's sex) and, because it's the 2000's and not the 70's said sex is between girls. They make many more like this they are going to have to start building drive-ins again.

The plot isn't difficult to follow being on the thin side not to mention one doesn't know if it is supposed to be horror or comedy. Father accidentally opens portal to other dimension. Daughter gets sucked in and is converted to be a demon fighter. 20 years later guy having problems with letting go former girlfriend organizes camping trip with former gf and friends. Would be witch recites the portal again and little girl, now all grown up, springs through, followed by a demon who starts killing the friends. Standard horror plot though there is a bit of a twist on the guy gets girl usual ending. It's so bad it's good though no who, why or wherefore is given as to why this girl is kidnapped and trained as a demon fighter other than the fact that there is a demon. Also the training scenes are so disjointed and quick cut that one might not figure out what the hell is going on.

Citizen Kane it ain't but for good, cheesy can't stop watching, it more than fits the bill.

I really expected to dislike this movie. I bought it for $5 in the bargain bin. Surprisingly, I got into it and enjoyed the far majority of it. There were a few parts that were superfluous (a lesbian sex scene that served no plot purpose since we'd already been whacked over the head with the fact that two female characters were sleeping with each other) but overall the movie flowed quite nicely. Make no mistake, this is a comedy. Sometimes however, that sneaks up on you and you have to laugh out loud.

The ending makes it absolutely clear...the director intended there to be a sequel. I'll be watching for it.

If you are looking to watch an action packed blockbuster movie, stop reading and move along. If you are looking for a good old fashioned solid 'B' movie, this is it. It's not on the same level as say Sam Raimi's classic "Army Of Darkness, show casing the chiseled chin and the witty quips of Bruce Campbell.

Yet this movie is the best recent attempt to bring back the campiness that 'B' movies used to offer to the world. Unlike lack luster blockbuster movies this movie is not eye candy, it's brain candy, which Roger Corman has proved time and time again that a movie trying to be serious can be seriously funny if it's made the right way.

There is no real story in this movie, no real explanation of what happened, where it happened, and why it happened. What there is a great gaggle of eclectic characters. Some typical flashing of skin, and splashing of blood. That is all that matters to this kind of movie.

Plus the appearance of Canadian wrestler "Christian Cage" in a role that would make Bruce Campbell throw up a little in his mouth with pride, was a refreshing surprise, along with the double threat talent of brains and beauty in co-star and producer the stunning, and we need to see more of, Brigitte Kingsley.

If you want to feed your brain some mush, this is a movie for you.