Le Bal de l'horreur

...let me count the ways.

1. A title-only 'remake' that pulls out every cliché in the slasher handbook.

2. A plot so predictable that it becomes quite pathetic.

3. A completely weak execution of all attempts at suspense or thrills.

4. A PG-13 rating that insures no gore, violence, or sex.

5. A villain that is not frightening or even mysterious.

6. A cast of characters that are so thinly written and stereotyped that we couldn't possibly care about them.

7. A lack of any effectively creepy atmosphere (much unlike the original Prom Night).

8. A script of dialog that's beyond poor - it's mind numbing.

9. A series of cardboard performances (not sure whether to blame the actors or the lousy aforementioned script for that).

10. A completely inept teen-targeted slasher remake that's not brave enough to attempt to have an imagination - or even to show a puddle of blood.

It's a no-brainer horror fans, save your money.

BOMB out of ****

***Three Out of Ten Stars***

Where does one begin to try to explain what a complete debacle of a disgrace this film is? Right off the bat, you know you're in trouble when a film production needs eight different producers to get off the ground. This means you have eight different people pulling in eight different creative directions, even if they delusion-ally believe they're all headed in the same direction; they're not. I don't need to re-numerate all the negative aspects of this film which have already been posted on this web site. What I will say, is what a terrible shame Sony dropped $20,000,000 on this waste of a film. Imagine the long line of creative, budding horror film makers that would've jumped at the chance to work with a mere $5,000,000; and in turn, undoubtedly, producing a unique and artistic horror film creation. But instead of adding to the artistic ingenuity of the horror genre, Sony drops this pile of crap in our laps. Thanks for nothing Sony.

I'm not particularly fond of remakes, or to steal the modern jargon "retellings", but this film truly peeved me off. The original Prom Night, while not in my humble estimation a masterpiece, still realized what it was... horror. There are some simple things to remember when making a horror film. Suspense is crucial to maintaining the interest of the audience. Sorry folks, but a white knuckle film this was not! The scares were cheap, and foreshadowed terribly. (A good example of scare which has been done to clichéd excess now, is the cat jumping out of the closet, followed soon there after but a now unexpected appearance by the villain of the film) This film couldn't successfully pull that off, so how could I expect it to fulfill any of the other conventions of horror film. There needs to be a likable hero or heroine. This film doesn't have one. The person I most identified with was the head detective. His calm demeanor, but level headed approach to the escape of a killer was what more films of this ilk should have. Common sense approach to events that occur. (If you're running from an Axe wielding psycho, you turn and sprint in the opposite direction. Not jog, whilst looking back ever three seconds, gaging the killer's progress, only to trip over every branch and inanimate object in your path.) If you friend disappears, you don't go looking for them alone. And if you suspect foul play you tell someone, not investigate yourself. These clichés are tired and well overplayed. In the horror genre in general, and in this film in particular.

Prom Night is shot with the artistic eye someone gives while finely crafting a Lifetime original film. You know the one. This October, Lifetime takes a break from the courageous tale of a woman surviving (insert disease name here) to tell the somewhat creepy tale of a woman pursued by a stalker ex-boyfriend. It's dramatic … it's sappy … it's immensely dull. It does nothing to further a genre, tell an original story, or strive for ANY sort of newness. Prom Night shares this plight. Watching the killer poke holes in his victims, we sit silently as they slump to the floor with not a drop of blood spilled. It occurred to me that this was the cleanest killer in movie history.

Our director is working with a fairly good-looking killer so he is forced to pour on the camera angles to make him appear creepier. Think about Matthew McConaughey coming at you with a knife. You'd probably go … "OH! Good lookin guy is going to kill me? Naaaa." Not scary even for a second, so the director throws Schaech into shadows and over the shoulder in the mirror. This mirror shot is repeated to the point of sickness as it practically becomes a fetish of the creator. You'll get 15 jump scares in this film, 2 of which made my date jump (I might mention she is afraid of EVERYTHING). I'd also mention she decided to take a nap halfway through the film and at one point threatened to leave me.

As if this film were not disjointed enough, it appears to be cut to shreds. I'm not saying it looks like key points were left on the cutting room floor as the crew scrambled to salvage some semblance of a horror film; I'm saying as the film moves from scene to scene, you often get a jarring jump. This is the kind of thing you'd expect when a film catches fire and a projectionist is forced to splice ends together, cross his fingers, and hope for the best. The editor should be shot.

With a plot you can pack into two sentences, one stray spray of blood, an emo killer, and the tension of a very special episode of "Silver Spoons", we're left with no reason to support horror this weekend … at least on the big screen. In fact, this is the sort of film that should be punished. Is it really that hard to make a scary movie? Was this crew even aware they were making a horror film??!! A complete waste of my time and yours. I bit the bullet to get you this review. Don't let my sacrifice be in vain. DON'T GO INTO THE MOVIE!!!

Now I haven't seen the original version, but I can tell you that it's probably better than the remake. The movie's PG-13 rating takes almost all of the thrill and suspense out of the film.

The beginning of the movie starts off sudden, but afterwards there's a nice drought of action until the first prom killing. The PG13 rating makes the death scenes quite bland and boring. You won't see the victims actually getting attacked, but you'll see silhouettes and blood smears. That's about it.

The characters in the movie make it seem like you're watching a movie of The Hills. The girls are the classic "dumb blonde" stereotypes while the men are the typical "hard jock" stereotype. Any angst there is between the characters is very dry and holds no real meaning to the overall movie.

The plot is very predictable, I sat through the entire movie correctly guessing what was going to happen next and when something good was going to happen.

All in all, this is a good movie if you're looking for some good laughs, but overall don't expect to be extremely happy with the final product. Personally I'd wait for the movie to come out on DVD. If you've seen any other slasher film, chances are you could guess every next move in this movie.