Dogging: A Love Story

STAR RATING: ***** Saturday Night **** Friday Night *** Friday Morning ** Sunday Night * Monday Morning

So we have another Brit com aimed at the more laddish end of the British movie going population, this time exploring the phenomenon of 'dogging', where (in case you didn't know) people have sex in cars inviting others to watch. Truly an issue that needed addressing in amongst all the other important stuff going on in the world...it just needed the right film to address it, surely? Sadly, Simon Ellis's film just isn't it, an overlong, granily shot, largely plot less and rarely funny comedy drama that despite it's original touches (the cocksure chav with a heart of gold, the nice at heart girl who uses dogging sites to escape the clutches of her over protective father and the loss of her mother, the arrogant best mate who's really pathetic and vulnerable underneath) and despite not being as deplorable as the likes of Sex Lives of the Potato Men, still fails to really leave much of an impression at all. Since his 'acting' career hasn't been up to much since Basic Instink-t 2, why didn't they get ol' Stan Collymore involved for some more expert opinion? *

Astonishing that this was the only British film reckoned worthy of a slot in the Tiger Competition at Rotterdam 2009. Programming the film at all was a baffling move, but to position it in such a prestigious slot is an embarrassment for all concerned.

It's a rubbishy, mirthless Brit-com that's opportunistic and exploitative, but without any of the positives of old-school "exploitation cinema."

Slim but convoluted plot hangs on the illicit sexual activity 'dogging' - semi-public in-car coitus - a practice that made some salacious UK tabloid headlines a couple of years back.

Here it becomes the saucy/seedy pretext for a sloppily-scripted, tut-tutting exercise in larkish prurience, involving various feckless young adults (one of them a priapic Geordie satyr played by newcomer Richard Riddell, who deserves much better material) in and around the Newcastle region.

NB : Given the location and subject-matter, surely 'Go Forth, Tyne Dogger' would have been a better title.

I'd never heard of "dogging" before catching "Public Sex" on Sundance. Even British reviews of this UK flick took inexplicable pleasure in belittling it. At a minimum, it deserves a cult following, much like its subject. Subtitled "A Love Story," this overlooked, naughty-but-nice gem uses occasional pseudo-documentary touches. Its main character, a young, unemployed, "investigative" journalist, shines a light, if you will, on the British phenom of dogging, couples shagging inside cars, at night, in public areas frequented for just that purpose. And dogging devotees aren't particularly shy about onlookers. Asked "How did you get into it?," one dogger responds, "How can you not get into it?" This proves true as the characters in "Public Sex" use dogging to find what they're really looking for and discover that, as one car door closes, another opens. Dogging, anyone?

What a shame - this could actually have made for quite a funny template for a film if only they hadn't opted for the banal and puerile. "Dan" (Luke Treadaway) is an out of work journalist who decides to write a piece about the practice of dogging. Now if you don't know - that's when you drive to some remote spot and have sex with folks peering in the window, or taking photos - or even filming it. "Dan" is also a bit sexually frustrated, a fact not helped by his flatmate "Rob" (Richard Riddell) who fancies himself as a bit of a Lothario. It's whilst chatting on the internet that "Dan" encounters "Horny Geordie Lass" (Kate Heppell) and after the bravado dies down, they both decide they kind of like each other and decide to meet. Do they keep up the pretence of the dogging (neither of them are really into it) or do they try something a bit more grown up? Well to be honest, and much as I like Luke T, I just didn't care. It's smutty and crass - but worse than that, it has no plot. There is no story nor do the characters have anything to say. Once we've seen a few steamed up windscreens - there is actually very little actual sex, here - then you've seen them all. There's a glimmer of talent from Michael Socha's chavvy "Jim" who has a better than average chat-up line - though not so successful on the top deck of a bus, but otherwise this is really a waste of everyone's time both behind the camera and on the sofa. Maybe next time don't go for the easy "Carry On" option because this just isn't funny.

Add an original story concept about something seldom talked about publicly, include lively, interesting actors, then conclude the story by by using every cliché available.

Sadly, this could have been far better than it turns out. It's definitely not the fault of anybody but the writer or whoever had final say on how the film ended.

The actors, camera people, post-production, sound crew, basically everyone but the writer, do everything possible to keep the film enjoyable despite the script. Hopefully, it was more of a studio/producer issue forcing a plain, boring, predictable, tedious, uncreative, pre-packaged ending on it because the plot and first hour really did show promise.