- Stephanie: Grammy Ho was right again. "The gays, they make too much big crazy."
- Barbara: [speaking to her ex-husband about her new husband] What's the matter, Wayne? Are you jealous?
- Wayne: Jealous? I don't even know the meaning of the word.
- Barbara: Yeah? You don't know the meaning of LOTS of words.
- Matt: If this old bed could talk, huh? You do remember all that stuff, right?
- Ryan: What were we thinking, huh?
- Stephanie: You totally love him. You want to wreck the wedding and steal him for yourself. You are so Julia Roberts in "My Best Friend's Wedding" right now.
- Ryan: What if I'm not stuck. What if I like workin' outside? What if I like knowing the people I see on the street and goin' to the same church I grew up in? How do you know this isn't what I want my life to be?
- Matt: Because of all those nights we spent talking about getting out, all of those things you said. That's how I know.
- Ryan: People change, Matt. You sure did. You come back here like you've got it all figured out, but do you? What about all that shit you said, like you'd always have my back, we'd always be tight, you'd always be there. Was that only supposed to be when we were fucking?
- Alex: I understand about gay men. I adore gay men. If I had a penis, I'd BE a gay man. But I don't want to marry one. And I am not gonna be some housewife, and five, ten years down the road have you come home, "Hey, honey, I know you love surprises"...
- Elly: You know, these aren't dresses. They're fucking costumes.
- Alex: Well, maybe at least my costume will make it into the church.
- Elly: Bitch!
- Alex: That's Mrs. Bitch to you.
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