- Gary Smith: The thing is: If I win, you're just another punk! You win and you'll be sent away even quicker for beating up the head boy!
- Jimmy Hopkins: Why'd you do it, Gary?
- Gary Smith: Because, I can! Because, making little people like you and the morons who run this place eat out of the palm of my hand feels great!
- Jimmy Hopkins: But, I never did anything to you!
- Gary Smith: You would have: If I'd given you the chance, Face it! I'm SMARTER than you! Haha!
- Jimmy Hopkins: Oh, Congratulations! You're smarter than me! You hate everyone and everyone hates you, genius!
- Gary Smith: The head likes me, I tied him up, turned his dumb school into a battleground, got kids expelled-unfairly, put several others into therapy and he still likes me!
- Jimmy Hopkins: You're such a loser!
- [prepares to wrestle him]
- Gary Smith: Well, at least my mom doesn't make her living on her back!
- Jimmy Hopkins: You're DEAD!
- [fights him and falls off]
- Jimmy Hopkins: What happened Gary? I thought we were friends!
- Gary Smith: You thought that you an I, were friends?
- Mom: Jimmy please say something
- Stepfather: James.
- Jimmy Hopkins: What who are you? Mom I thought you told me never to talk to strangers.
- Mom: Like I said before please be nice to your new stepfather.
- Mrs. Carvin: [Jimmy has killed all the rats in the library] Thank you, Jimmy. If you have any late fees, I think we can just forget about them.
- Jimmy Hopkins: I did that a long time ago. I mean, thank you, miss.
- Edgar Munsen: Alright, one question. How are we gonna stop a load of kids from beating the crap outta each other?
- Jimmy Hopkins: It's America! We go in there with threats and bribes until we get what we want. If all else fails we beat the crap out of everyone!
- Pete Kowalski: I stand up for you and you still think I'm a dork. You're a jerk!
- Jimmy Hopkins: And you're a dork, so we're equal.
- Beatrice: My fear is that I'll end up working at a bookstore when I'm 30 because all I have is a master's degree from some liberal arts college!
- Jimmy Hopkins: I've been expelled from anywhere halfway decent.
- Gary Smith: Yeah I've been expelled from anywhere halfway decent 'cause I'm really bad. Give up the tough guy act, pal.
- Jimmy Hopkins: Hey man, what's your problem?
- Gary Smith: Well, A.D.D., primarily, but also life, my parents, this school, western civilization, but really, honestly, enough about me.
- Gary Smith: Oh, I see you've met the dorm's mascot. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Femme boy, the girliest boy in school. Petey haven't you got some imaginary friends to go annoy?
- Pete Kowalski: Why don't you leave me alone, Gary?
- Gary Smith: Look at you! Leave me alone Gary! I'm really self important now that I've finally hit puberty. What's your problem? I'm just being nice to the new kid as he passes through Bullworth on his inevitable journey to prison.
- Jimmy Hopkins: Look, I gotta unpack. Would you guys mind getting outta here?
- Gary Smith: Oh, now look what you've done, Pete! Jimmy can't stand you already.
- Gary Smith: It's sink or swim, my friend. And if you're good at swimming, you've gotta let the losers drown.
- Gary Smith: [In "The Hole", after revealing that he will rule the school, not Jimmy, and to make sure...] Ladies and gentlemen, boys and morons, I give you... Russell! Russell, go sort him out for the nasty things that he said about your mom and farmyard animals.
- Jimmy Hopkins: Did you say you're waiting for Derby?
- Pinky: Yes. I don't really like him, but he's my cousin, and our family wants us to get married. You know, keep up the tradition?
- Jimmy Hopkins: ...Wait... marry your cousin?
- Pinky: You know, it used to be brother and sister until it was made illegal. My aunt has four thumbs.
- Zoe: Why don't we play a "little game", come on.
- Jimmy Hopkins: ...By "older men" I hope you don't mean Mr. Burton!
- Johnny Vincent: Well hello, Gord. Seems like you've been messin' where you ought not.
- Gord: No... cousins are legal. Oh... you mean Lola.
- Johnny Vincent: Yeah, MY woman. Now you pay!
- Lola: Of course I love you, Johnny!
- Johnny Vincent: No you don't!
- Lola: Love is complicated!
- Johnny Vincent: Well it didn't seem complicated between you and that Gord kid! I'm gonna kill him!
- Lola: Johnny, please! We've been over that! He's sweet, but it was so... innocent!
- Johnny Vincent: Get off!
- Lola: Oh I love it when you get angry, Johnny. I really do. You're so... bestial!
- Gary Smith: Soon, this school will be ours.
- Jimmy Hopkins: I don't want the school.
- Gary Smith: Yeah? Well, I do, pal, and I intend to get it.
- Mr. Burton: [is inside a port-a-potty as Jimmy knocks it down the hill] Oh my God! Corn! I didn't have corn for dinner! This is awful!
- [gets out, all covered in fecal matter]
- Mr. Burton: Yuck! Goddamn I stink! I'm gonna have to shower for days... with bleach! Ah, this is worse than when I got hazed!
- Jimmy Hopkins: So how do I do it, Pete?
- Pete Kowalski: Do what?
- Jimmy Hopkins: Beat those rich kids into submission?
- Pete Kowalski: Well, what have you tried so far?
- Jimmy Hopkins: Random violence, widespread destruction, gratuitous sadism.
- Pete Kowalski: No, no that's not gonna work - they get all that kind of stuff at home.
- Jimmy Hopkins: [while stuffing someone into a locker] Just be happy I didn't put you in upside-down!
- Russell Northrop: [after getting hit in the groin with a soccer ball] You hit Russell's special place!
- Dr. Crabblesnitch: Word on the street is you're something of a pugilist.
- Jimmy Hopkins: No, sir, I never pugilized anything.
- Ray: They say that children imitate characters in video games. But I have yet to become a mustached plumber.