The House Next Door

... is twofold. Firstly, it totally destroys, with a plodding, boring and mucousy script, a fine novel that Stephen King had singled out as one of the best horror stories of the last century in his essay "Danse Macabre" (1981).

The second jolt comes from seeing Lara Flynn Boyle's lips slowly disintegrate all through the movie from the sheer weight of the collagen they are stuffed with. Her mouth gradually descends in her face in a very ominous and asymmetrical fashion, unsupported by facial muscles that are already rendered weak and useless from too many Botox injections. The end result is an inverted wedge of a mouth incapable of smiling or any other recognizable human expression. Those are the only things that qualify this mess as truly scary, if you don't count the sheer ugliness, vulgarity and faux-modern ordinariness of the house itself.

OK! Simple fact is that compared to the novel this Lifetime Television movie pales in comparison. Anne Rivers Siddons' novel is worthy of the praise it has received over the years. Directed by Jeff Woolnough, it's a film that is routine but effective both in atmosphere and story telling.

Lara Flynn Boyle and Colin Ferguson play the contented couple whose idyllic suburban life is tipped upside down when a modern house is built on the land next to their home. Embracing the community spirit of new neighbours at first, the couple soon come to realise that whoever lives in the house - or even those who visit it - are beset by tragedy or uncontrollable urges.

Each segment with the various "house" owners vary in quality, but always there's a smart thematic link pulsing away in the narrative. It's never scary as such, unless you count Boyle's cosmetic surgery (silly girl, she was a natural and sexy beauty), and the house itself is a monstrously modern ode to yuppiedom, which to some (ok, me) kind of negates the horror factor, yet this is worth a look on a time waster basis. But please do seek out the book if you haven't already. 6/10

From all the great comments I've read about the book (and now I want to buy the book), you'd think they would have made the movie creepier and more suspenseful. It was too tame in the shock department. I'm not saying it needed to be gory -just more suspenseful, creepy and sinister like a Stephen King movie! The architect character was really the only thing that creeped me out(just a little). Also the house should have been creepier looking. I enjoyed some of the actors' performances, especially the little girl. Some of the characters weren't too fazed about what was going on in the house and just blew it off. I'd be freaked if my neighbors were dying off one by one in the same house. All in all, it was an enjoyable two hours viewing time; I might even get the DVD if it comes out.

The cast is OK. The script is awkward at times, and it takes a while to figure out what the point of the movie is. I found myself looking forward to doing the dishes. The Shehan bit is a cheesy statement on the war. I guess we were supposed to not notice it...we did. Its a house, you did nothing more than kill forty five minutes. The shower part...huh? What was that about? Literally, it is I have a client, "Ok you can use our shower." Yawn. The angles are trying way to hard. There was a set of woods, suddenly its gone cause you can see right through, then next it is deep and animals are dying. In the end this is a horrendous movie of boring proportions.

Basically there was a creepy house. It was creepy on account of its hauntings. Anyways, some woman who lived on the street found out a friend who designed the house lost the ability to design, so she assumed the house was evil, like any sane person would.

Basically the movie tells the story of several people who occupy the building, but these people had little personality outside of attributes the house turned against them. The characters not living in the house really only existed to demonstrate that the protagonist's life was being affected by her paranoia about the house.

There isn't much reason to be concerned with any of these people since... well honestly early on the effect of the house on its first occupants was kinda unexpected.

I've mostly been rambling but this movie while watchable is one of those without any lasting impact on the viewer.