Lady Godiva

Unlike another reviewer I was not lucky enough to win tickets for this movie at the premiere. However I eventually joined an unfortunately small audience locally a few months later to see the film with an introduction from director Vicky Jewson. I'd recently seen 'The Oxford Murders' introduced by John Hurt and whereas the star of the latter film seemed disinterested in the film that was to follow his short and uninspired words Vicky clearly has a passion for film and most importantly this, her feature debut. The film, a human story, was more than suitably imagined by the humanity of its writer/director.

Despite reviews to the contrary the film appeared to be well received. I have never sat in such a quiet cinema and no-one was sleeping! The script worked a fine line between human and emotional drama and historical and darker visions preferring to keep to the former to create a fresh and certainly unique film. Michael (Matthew Chambers) is a little adrift in his acting style but it meets the requirements of his role, a slightly hapless play-boy famous for his horse breeding antics. He loves horses (his favourite called Lady Godiva) more than anything but this is about to change when he meets Jemima (Phoebe Thomas), a kooky art teacher who dreams of continuing to run an art space created by her recently deceased brother. Aside from the beguiling romance there are themes including dealing with grief, bullying and simply taking responsibility leading to happiness. I do have complaints with the films though these are few, namely, with Oxfords' happening music scene it would have been great to have used local bands or even specially written songs to provide the soundtrack. Instead we are given James Morrison's 'Wonderful World' and McFly's 'Don't Stop Me Now' among others - though the latter does mention Lady Godiva in the lyrics. The songs are used as almost advert breaks, a kind of wake up call for those bored with the story and I wonder if the choice is partly down to the financial backers rather than Vicky herself. Either way its not a problem as such, more a pity, and regardless of preference the songs do work and provide - more than a break - a chance to mull over the striking scenes that have just occurred. My only other grievance is that something is slightly wrong with the May Day scene actually filmed not during the famous celebrations but at 4am one morning with extras and secretly from Police who had threatened arrest. I think the problem is because the entrance of our '21st Century Godiva' seems a little like a film set rather than a woman doing a naturally liberating act. Even this is difficult to fault based on the shear fact that May Day morning in Oxford is manic with celebration and revelling on a huge scale and quite how the crowds would react to a naked lady on a horse is unbeknownst. Thus to have pulled off what must have been one take filming of this nature is quite frankly breathtaking and a brilliant close to a really quite brilliant film.

Oxford looks truly beautiful in every scene and the film presents a stunning backdrop of Oxford as more than a university city and does so in vibrant colour and endurance. At times it seems like each cell had been hand painted such was the clear signs of devotion from the writer/director. Critically there is no obvious audience for Lady Godiva. Critics like raw and edgy films, a bout of sudden torture, a taboo breaking sex scene set to the music of Michael Nyman. Critics don't like human stories unless they feature someone impaired mentally or psychically. Here perhaps it is emotionally impaired characters but they are fascinating human examples and its' a true shame that the pompous air of critical theory is so strong. From an established filmmaker 'Lady Godiva' would be rich, scrumptious and very daring. From a newbie? It is honestly overwhelming and truly recommended.

To say that this is the worst film ever is probably the safest statement that I've made in my life. Where does it all go wrong? It's hard to know where to start but I guess that the beginning is a good place; the film opens with a naff historical reenactment of the Godiva legend which adds nothing to the film that follows but at least this part is reasonably well shot unlike the rest of this movie. Thereafter the film jolts about like an episode of Hollyoaks with simply the worst script and flimsiest characterisation of anything ever seen on screen. It is truly that awful! The story, which might have started as something worth telling, is ruined by appalling direction which jolts around unfathomably with characters acting out of character and for cheap laughs to the extent that after half an hour the amateurish crassness of the whole production isn't even funny any more. At several points I asked myself how the film could get worse only to find that the next scene eloquently answered my question. The saddest part is that I watched this film hoping to like it and believe that someone could fight the corporate film making machine from the outside. This however is an embarrassment to independent film makers everywhere, as though a bunch of drunk sixth formers had run amok with a camera. Nobody associated with this film apart from Phoebe Thomas emerges with any credit. Sorry.

OK, I'm not one for cheap shots or gratuitous personal attacks BUT I will call it how I see it: Lady Godiva is a disaster and a depressing waste of resources. It may not be the worst film ever made, but it's certainly the worst British romantic comedy ever made, beating the hateful Love Actually into a distant second place - which I guess is some kind of achievement.

So how did this happen? Firstly, the director had VERY little experience and apparently little to no interest in the 90-degree rule or continuity in general. Godiva is a mess of weird blocking and odd cuts throughout. And not in a good way. The editing feels like a salvage job which doesn't work. Secondly, and despite her inexperience, I believe the director was very badly served by some of her crew. £1.4 million in the right hands can go a LONG way, and it seems clear that some of the people involved in Godiva were not giving of their best.

Godiva feels cheap - the school and "art factory" with suspiciously few kids, the Prince William lookalike and Queen cover version on the soundtrack, the rubbish attempt at CNN-style graphics.

One thing director Vicky Jewson can fully take the blame for is Godiva's pervasive upper- class snobbery. It's there in the fawning over Prince William (woodenly played by a lookalike who unlike the real Wills isn't going bald). The snobbery is also present in the extraordinary character of Michael's 'unsuitable' girlfriend Veronica, a middle class woman who drinks martini instead of sherry and thinks that letting a horse run around the kitchen is "unhygenic" (she's got a point). Tellingly, Michael (Matthew Chambers) twice disparages Jemima's Mini. The Mini factory in Oxford has been a fixture of Oxford's economy for years, but this fact is either unknown to Jewson (likely) or ignored by her as she fetishises more upper class aspects of the city.

Over and above these flaws however is the damning fact that Lady Godiva is meaningless and unfunny from start to finish. Scenes start and finish at random points, dialogue is either completely inconsequential or totally explanatory.

Worst scene: The business meeting. Somehow, thorough a "hilarious" sequence of accidents, Michael and his business partner are shirtless when 2 Japanese businessmen enter. The businessmen, having no understanding of western culture or basic common sense then proceed to strip off. Oh, the hilarity! Then - get this! -Michael's secretary takes her blouse off! And the Japanese businessman whip out cameras and start taking pictures of her! It's like the one racist urban myth Sofia Coppola couldn't cram into Lost In Translation crossed with a '70's sitcom, only worse.

Other people on this board have nominated many other 'lowpoints' in the film. They're all right. Everything sucks.

And now, just to be fair, I must admit that over the course of the film I actually smiled once. It was when Matthew Chambers copies the "I'm watching you" gesture Robert De Niro does in Meet the Parents. God knows why I found that funny, it may have been hysteria induced by the extreme rubishness of what I was witnessing. After that my brain just shut down under the onslaught of ineptitude and wrongness.

Vicky Jewson shows a talent and flair on the level of Scorsese in Goodfellas with her debut masterpiece Lady Godiva. After seeing this film, i now realize that all other films are meaningless by comparison. This film is a shining example of true British female directing talent...of which their is little, unlike the UAE where females are allowed to direct larger budget films. Vicky Jewson should direct the next James Bond film, because of her godlike skill in getting great performances from her exceptional cast. Vicky Jewson for president. I just hope people realize the greatness

G-Pal

Oh gosh where to start. I saw Miss Jewson being interviewed on Chris Jones' web site where she spoke about this film. Interested I logged on here to look at some reviews and was shocked at the viciousness of the comments (some of them personal, which reflect more on the reviewers than the reviewed!). Now intrigued I bought a copy off amazon and sat down with the 'misses' to watch it.

Well I have to say - yes it is a stinker, but it reminded me of a TV adaptation of one of Jilly Cooper's novels 'Riders' which was also awful but interestingly so awful people liked it! It was unintentionally hilarious and this is in the same category.

Watching it is like sucking on a lemon and trying not to wince. It is full of cringingley clichéd moments that you find yourself looking away from and feeling embarrassed.

But hey this site does not need another person slagging this film off so hats off Miss Jewson for getting a feature made, and on that patronising note I think I'll finish the review. Except to say in years to come I'm sure the director will have a laugh at her own expense and think: 'what was I doing?'