Petrified

charles band is indeed the ed wood of our era..this movie was done and over in 65min.full moon is robbing us in the redbox for a buck.iam a true monster fan but this one was the worst of all of the full moon madness DVD .band's puppets are even better to watch then this guy wrap with toilet paper and turning people into stone.more time were spend on some kind of a lesbo scene,which was the best highlight of the movie.charles band should be banned from stealing other people's money.no plots,no acting,no screenplay,no gore,no f/x and band as the director was sleeping doing this piece of junk..ed woods is laughing from his grave..please don't make a part two..a junk is a junk and a movie is a movie..watch it for free instead.

Since I already had an idea what to expect, I went in with an open mind. I hate the idea of giving this company money to eatch this, but I didnt, so no loss. I havent laughed this hard at even a comedy, but dont pass this film up. I use film loosely. Best enjoyed with large amounts of whiskey and an innocent bystander. I gave it a 10, cause this is by far, and that is saying something, the worst (in an almost good way) movie I've ever seen. Please watch. Good luck.

Pretty much everything thrown up at the screen for this one was a miss.

The problem is the bare bones plot, direction, and effects that did make it up on the screen.

The movie minus opening and closing credits runs about less than an hour.

That's how little is there.

An alien mummy which is all it is ever explained as is quickly re-animated when an artifacts collector is killed and bleeds on it. A hand from another alien or etc. Mummy also is revived but it is never explained how.

The mummy then goes into a nearby unguarded and unstaffed nymphomaniac clinic where there are barely any nymphos and causes havoc there for the rest of the scant movie.

A federal investigator also seeks refuge in the clinic who ends up battling the mummy along with a female trying to break her sister out of it.

The effects, kills, pacing, how the mummy is warded off at times and then defeated are all 3rd rate even for a low budget movie.

Just mostly a miss on everything. Maybe it should be comforting it was so short.

The one thing Band mostly tried to sell for the movie is that he gave everybody an executive producer credit that bought $100 or more of merchandise at a stop on his Roadshow tour in 2005. That unfortunately doesn't make a movie any better in any way for the viewer.....

I have to start keeping a log of movies watched. If I've ever seen a worse film, I can't remember it.

Utter ordure from beginning to end. I won't dignify it with with any analysis or description beyond that, except to say that there's a brief, hopeful moment when we learn that the setting is a "clinic for the treatment of nymphomania," but alas...

I don't know what the other reviewer is drinking - I like bourbon, and the only way I can imagine liquor making this "film" any better is during that brief, fleeting moment of vivid hallucination (that we're watching some other movie, perhaps?) that comes right after hepatic shutdown, and just before irreversible coma.

I rented "Petrified" from my local RedBox. As soon as I saw the Full Moon logo, I had a bad feeling that I just wasted a buck. Hey, it could've been worse--renting from Block Buster for four and change. That hurts more. Thank god I no longer go to any Block Busters! But I have to say that Petrified has been added to my "worst list." I had some pretty good picks at RedBox (The Host, Abandoned)but after seeing this stink bomb, I began to have my doubts that someone was a sleep at the wheel. This was by far, the dumbest movie of all time. Special effects? Ha ha ha! Some guy standing in the bushes wrapped in toilet tissue, supposed to be an alien mummy. I was so annoyed for renting this direct to DVD piece of junk that I called RedBox to complain. That was the first time I asked for my money back based on a poorly made movie. How did this even get into RedBox? Someone at Full Moon (maybe one of the dopey actresses in Petrified) must be sleeping with the purchaser at RedBox. That's all I can think of. Stay away from this mess of a movie with 7th grade production values.