Superman contre Brainiac

Here's what makes me hate big companies...and I'll do a little dishing to make this a bit more interesting.

Yes, this movie was made entirely to capitalize on the live action Superman feature hitting the theatres on the 26th. Which isn't exactly a bad thing except it's obvious that this movie was truly an afterthought.

Dan Riba, the Godfather of the Justice League series is mysteriously absent from this production and man does it show. It seems as if Warner Brothers wanted to crank out a straight to DVD flick but Riba insisted that he needed more time to make the film coherent and best of all...good. Warner Brothers said, "No Can Do" and went ahead with production.

Ugh.

Enter writer, Duane Capizzi. Before this movie he was writing ALF: The Animated Series, Jackie Chan Adventures, and that other travesty, The Batman. It's clear that Capizzi has no interest or knowledge in following actual story lines and caricatures which is evidenced in his ridiculous portrayal of Lex Luthor. Why Lex Luthor is written like it was supposed to be cast by Gilbert Gottfried, I'll never know.

Then there are the producers, Margaret M. Dean, Kyle Jolly, and Sander Schwartz whose previous credits involved Tom & Jerry and Scooby F'n Doo.

Make no mistake, this is a horrible, horrible film that was made specifically for 5-10 year olds who probably don't care about story or plot. Don't hold any ill will towards The Justice League. Dan Riba had nothing to do with this garbage.

Avoid this film at all costs.

Of course this movie was made to capitalize on the release of Superman Returns. What's wrong with that? I say...nothing. Brainiac Attacks is a fun and fast moving adventure story. The epic battles are truly fun to watch. The animation is the same as you see on the animated series, and on Justice League. Tim Daly returns as the voice of Clark/Superman, as does Dana Delany as Lois. Lance Henricksen takes on the role of Brainiac, and while he may not have the smooth coolness the character used to have, his gravelly voice is menacing nonetheless, and he does a great job. If I have one complaint about the movie, it's with Lex Luthor. He's not the same character he used to be. He's far more aloof, and even a bit of a clod. He's not as menacing, and seems to go for the joke too often. He does get a couple of good lines, however. During a huge battle with Brainiac, Superman ends up face to face with Lex who gives him a "Rootin' for ya, my man!". That was quite funny. But it's not Clancy Brown who reprises his role as Lex. Powers Boothe takes over, and while he's a good actor, he's not really right for Lex. He does a serviceable job, but it would have been MUCH better with Brown. So if you are a fan of the animated series, there is much to enjoy here. Unless of course, you can't get around the whole Lex thing. It's a good rent.

They get the majority of the voices (oddly enough not Clancy Brown despite his commitment to Justice League) from the Superman cartoon to return, but the writing is weak.

It didn't follow any of the cues or tone set by the animated series, instead the writer(s) ended up making this feel more like Superman of the George Reeve's era (plenty of "Gee Ms. Lane." moments and other trite dialog) and there was never a sense that anyone was in real danger. Unlike the show where they have killed off characters during major events.

Superman: Brainiac Attacks is a pretty weak showing and seems to be an attempt at cashing in on the imminent release of Superman Returns. Unless you're absolutely a Superman fan or are over the age of 12, you could let this easily pass up.

Although I'm a college educated adult, I actually like the Superman, Batman and Justice League cartoon series (I'm sure I'm far from alone on this one). The plots have been excellent examples of sci-fi writing and can be quite clever,complex and entertaining. Not so this one. The vast majority of this movie consisted of Superman and Braniac pounding each other into the ground, throwing each other through buildings, etc. The encounters went on for so long I got bored and fastforwarded through the monotony. There is a weak plot that holds this together, but it's not strong enough to redeem it. The phrase "phoning it in" leaps to mind. If you're a Superman fan, you're going to be disappointed in this.

So, when this came out in 2006, 6 years after Superman TAS has ended, I was excited by the trailer. The classic character designs all over again, well animated! Tim Daly and Dana Delaney reprising their roles and others too! Unlike Batman TAS which got 3 movies, Superman TAS never had one, so I was excited. I was young, and did not check who the director and writer was. Boy, was I in for a surprise.

So for those who are as unaware as I was in 2006 -this movie LOOKS like Superman TAS, uses the same character models, even some of the same voice actors... but is NOT in continuity, and it is an abysmally written boring story that feels like it was lifted from some Golden Age comic.

You learn this quickly when the movie starts with Brainiac landing on Earth and starting to absorb knowledge from computers, then confronting Superman for the first time. Wait a minute, I said, but they already met several times in the show! Well... these may look like the same characters, but aren't. In general, they feel like alternate universe versions of characters you love, who look the same, but are far, far more dumb.

Take Superman - throughout the movie, he keeps thinking that he needs to retire the Clark Kent personality and just tell Lois who he is. Anyone who seen "The Late Mr. Kent" knows that Clark IS the real personality of Kal-El, he doesn't want to be Superman all the time. He is a mild mannered reporter from Smallville at heart. But here, he wants to retire because he thinks he gets Lois Lane into trouble... not realizing this Lois is simply, too stupid to live. Several times in the movie, Lois almost tries to get herself killed in incredibly convoluted ways.

But that's not the worst part, wait until you see Lex Luthor. Remember how threatening and powerful Lex felt, despite not having superpowers? Well, not only his voice changed -Powers Boothe instead of Clancy Brown - but he degraded back to some comical small minded villain from the Golden Age. When he muses that he doesn't know whether to feel sad that Brainiac is destroying his base, or happy that Superman is trashed, I wanted to slap him. He is also incredibly stupid (see a pattern there?), thinking he can partner with Brainiac to have him kill Superman for him, then take a fall and pretend that Lex beat him. To nobody's surprise, Brainiac betrays him.

Speaking of Brainy, Lance Henrikssen replaces Corey Burton, but he cannot save the character from turning into a boring, generic megalomaniac. Gone is the inhuman, cold logic that made Brainiac so scary. Unfortunately he also spends half the movie in a new body made out of a satellite that looks like a badly mistransformed Transformer.

The worst part though, was reserved for poor Jimmy Olsen. His plot for the movie? Well, for some inexplicable reason, he has a huge crush on Mercy. To the point of creepiness, where he takes photos of her and has a shrine. Needless to say, people's warnings to Jimmy that a woman who would rather kill him than look at him and who does Luthor's dirty work is not someone you would date, fall on deaf ears.

The movie has some OK action scenes, and is well animated - same studio who did Superman TAS. The voice actors all do their work well. But the writing and asinine dialogue just ruins it all. It is still, something I recommend to DCAU fans - it is an eerie, strange experience, seeing these beloved characters in identical animation to the show's, yet acting in strange and silly ways. It almost feels like this movie is from a parallel universe, where Paul Dini was never born, and Superman TAS was based on dumb Golden Age comics.