Lycan Colony

For the record, I have never been so confused, so many times, during a movie.

I have a co-worker that views a youtube channel that exclusively watches the most horrid of movies. He recommended to me "Suburban Sasquatch". My room mate and I found that completely laughable. I did not even have to view the Rifftrax version of it to get a multitude of guffaws. It was similar to "Plan 9 From Outer Space" so bad in every aspect that it makes one laugh.

He recommended this movie. I assumed it would be in the same in its incompetency level as the other, I was utterly incorrect. I watched 15 minutes of this atrocity and not one laugh.

This is what I reference as a "Purgatory" or "Limbo" movie. A production so completely absent of positive facets, it should not exist. We are being drowned in such movies these days. Everyone believes they can act, write scripts and film, they cannot and this is proof of it.

Cinematography is horrid. Much shot out of focus. Night scenes are badly done. These are the kind of movies that induce headaches. No proper framing of shots.

Acting is non-existent. I saw that one actress had over 100 roles until I saw all were "Uncredited". Can one make a living in films just being a background person?

Sound: At the 15 minute mark we encounter an interaction between a young man and woman. I was raised on a farm in an agricultural area. We had crickets. They were not SO loud that you had difficulty hearing what a person is saying to you standing a scant 2 1/2 foot from you. ADR anyone?

Nothing to see here. It is a waste of your viable life span. I do not understand how SO many of these POS movies are being made. Everyone has to be in complete and utter denial of the fact they are making a piece of excrement.

This is by far the worst werewolf film ever made, even worse than those lousy Hammer films of the 60s. The plot of the film is standard horror fare (i.e. innocent family stumbles into a town of werewolves - mayhem ensues), but the true problem with the film is the editing and the effects. For editing, there are scenes where you can't hear a word any of the actors are saying, followed by very noisy scenes of no importance where you have to turn the volume down. Also, there is a big fight scene at the end which is so poorly assembled, I'm still not sure how many werewolves are involved in the battle and who was involved in stopping them. As for the effects, the werewolves look like white people wearing black face and amazon clothing, and the big monster werewolf looks like a computer generated teddy bear. I could go on and on, but I don't want anyone thinking this is a "so bad it's good" film. Avoid this one at any cost.

This movie should be locked in a vault and never allowed to see daylight ever again. Speaking of daylight... In this movie a good 70% takes place at night, alllthough the director had the Genius idea to do everything as "day-for-night" shots, and as I'm sure you can guess, this never works. It ended up looking like someone tapped blue cling wrap over the camera lens.

as if the camera work wasn't bad enough, he also decided that 90% of the speaking in the move should be redone with voice overs which apparently were recorded in an old solid tile bathroom by a 7 year old.

As for the plot, i really cant discuss it....because there wasn't one...moving on...

The acting was pitiful. I have seen better acting in my sisters 7th grade Shakespeare play's. There was the constant feeling that each actor was reading off of cue cards just out of the scene... As a note to the actors, it really not your fault, and in having a chance to talk to a few of them what i understood the stage direction was something like a kid with downs trying to calculate the terminal velocity of the lunar lander on mars.

my friends and i are still under the impression that this was the directors first movie. The script seemed like it had been rewritten every scene just to include some cheesy iMovie effect. The amount of actually sense vs special fx was 1 to a 100. I left the theater premier feeling like a was just mentally curb-stomped. I was actually surprised that no one had a aneurysm during the premier. Next time i attend (if i ever do) a Rob Roy production I'll want EMT's on location just in case.

Rob went more for quantity rather then quality of effects. They mainly consisted of Microsoft clip-art on a still background with yet another horrible voice-over.

So if you ever have a good 2 hours of time to devote to a mindless waste of humanity, give Rob Roy a call and get ready for the best ab workout of your life.

I give this movie one thumb down. It so bad its funny, this is a perfect candidate for MST3K.

My family watches terrible movies every Saturday afternoon, notably MST3K and Rifftrax, so we have seen some cheapjack, head-scratching, miserable cinematic failures and quite enjoyed the idiocy of many. This was so deeply awful that even we very tolerant fans were disgusted at the truly HORRIBLE acting, if that's what you want to call it--we figured these people were relatives who wanted to be in a supposed "movie", hoping for their 15 minutes of fame. Infamy is more like. I can't believe that anyone connected with this was ever in anything else. We couldn't discern the plot, which was simply an incoherent mess, not helped by the abysmal sound quality. The cinematography, again, if that's what you can call it, was so bad we made faces at the strange filters and howled at the cue cards that showed in several scenes. Whatever was supposed to pass for special effects could better be found at a Halloween store combined with someone's phone which, by the way, we concluded the entire thing was filmed on. Gratuitous swearing to make the principal female character appear tough and current was stupid, as was a very Mediterranean appearing woman who was supposed to be a Native American and whose dialogue was so pedestrian and insipid we couldn't fathom why she was in it unless, see above, she was related to whoever was responsible for this travesty. We thought it was over--at last--at least three times ere it was actually over. So whom, exactly, was the audience? Where was this shown and did anyone actually pay (besides us gullible Rifftrax aficionados) to see it at a venue of some sort? Don't get me started on the music. In sum: utterly incomprehensible script, kindergarten-minus acting, laughable "effects", amateurish dialogue, annoying music, and not one redeeming aspect, altogether. There was no character about whom we did or could care. "Best of the Worst"? Someone was stone-inebriated when this was deemed the best of anything. The best comparison I can give? It was even worse than "Ice Cream Man."