Werewolf

Werewolf: 2 out of 10: Wow, this is a perfect mess. First off, it "stars" Joe Estevez. Yes, Martin Sheen's brother. Star of some of the worst films ever made. (A shocking 191 films according to his IMDb page with a discouraging 13 still waiting to be released.) Maybe one of the reasons he can star in so many movies is that he only works for a few days at a time. In Werewolf, he disappeared without explanation a third of the way through the film and was barely in the movie, to begin with. However, I guess when your cast consists of non-English speaking Eurotrash, Estevez seems like a draw.

Speaking of the rest of the cast, we have Jorge Rivero whose hair changes in every scene and is the most interesting character in the film (The hair mind you, not Jorge). Richard Lynch who plays the male lead with all the charisma of soggy toast. Adrianna Miles who I thought were two different actresses. (One character lives in the house with the gun-toting Santa Claus where she types in panties. The other character has never been to the house and lusts after Lynch.) It turns out the script was more confused than I, and it is the same girl.

Adrianna Miles is unquestionably attractive and has those nice deer in headlight eyes, but her grasp of the English language is tenuous at best. She cannot wrap her lips around the word werewolf. (It comes out wahr-wil, wahrwilf, wearwaollf, etc.) Which usually would not be a problem for a talented actress but this film is called Werewolf and requires her to speak this lycanthropic tongue twister multiple times to ever more hilarious effect.

Speaking of confusing, the "werewolf" appears as a giant bear, a broken bat puppet, an elderly version of teen wolf (driving a compact car no less), and something else entirely from the depths of cinematic hell. At no time does it look like an actual werewolf. I could go on for hours (The moon stays full through the entire picture. That racist Santa Claus I mentioned above who runs the bed and breakfast). I think it is time to let Mike and the Bots take over.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 Season 10 episode 4: 10 out of 10: This is my favorite MST3K episode out of the 200 or so that I have watched. One of the best riffing jobs Mike and the bots have ever accomplished (Wow. The future conditional pluperfect subjunctive). The host segments with the singing of that 60's girl group favorite "Where, Oh Werewolf." They sing the end credits to a bizarre version of Fleetwood Mac's Tusk. I could go on and on. True the awful nature of the movie gives these James Lipton fanboys a big lift up (Werewolf is no The Starfighters). But the entire team runs with it firing on all cylinders. If you ever want to introduce MST3K to a potential new fan, this is an excellent film to start with.

Great pick by Best Brains, Inc.! So mind-numbingly bad it's great fun, this movie is indescribably awful in its acting, writing, plot, camera-work, and make-up. Although dreadful in so many ways, I'll stick to one particular selling point to watch this MST3K outing. The lead actress' (Adrianna Miles)IMDb filmography stops dead at this point, the second of a mere 2 credits to her name and it's no wonder. Her performance in this train wreck of a movie is a jaw-dropper. English is NOT her first language, quite obviously, and her phonetic attempts at dialog are both hilarious and truly odd, as Mike and the Bots riff on all of her flubs. Her emoting skills also reek to high heaven, and are also just not quite right at times. Watching her is pure unadulterated entertainment and even fascinating, but for all the wrong reasons. This performance just could not have been on purpose; if it had, however, it would have been masterful and award-winning, for being one of the greatest achievements in cinematic history to be completely terrible in every way imaginable. Her bod was pretty hot, but apparently not enough for her to be cast again in another film. Too bad, really. For me, this is a must-see for all of us connoisseurs of bad cinema.

This is another honorable mention in my book, it's a really bizarre werewolf film with an uninspired/generic title, that is entertainly bad and strangely in some way kind of predates the "Twilight" films, though personally I will take this episode along with the film over those films anytime.

Most of the plot has holes and make no sense. There are also certain moments that are silly and even unusual, you just must see to believe. Also, hard to believe Richard Lynch is in the film, another throw away film in his mile long record but hey not every film is going to be a winner.

As usual the riffs are a lot of fun, from the beginning credit that look a bit cheep as there is a bit of pausing on the running speed. A subordinate villain who is a real blow hole for no particular reason throughout the film, really like they remarked on the guy's constant hair changes which I'll admit is strange and may 'be tells you wear most of the money for the film went.

The comments on some of the werewolf effects crack me up and the effects actually aren't bad but inconsistent throughout the film. My favorite riff in the film is what Crow says in a scene where the main girl was visiting the main protagonist's house and he's not there, it's funny because it's actually true as it's the true nature of filler scenes.

One of the highlights of the episode is of course the song which is one of my favorite songs from the show which is a 50's style do wop romance song on the Werewolf. It was really funny seeing Mike and the bots all in 50's outfits but what's even funnier is the fact their crossdressing and Mike is singing the song pretending he's a female singer. Also believe it or not it's also one of favorite love songs that I sometimes play and listen to on Valentine's Day, I know strange song to play but as an old saying goes "Love is strange."

This episode is a howling good time.

Rating: 4 stars.