- Marty Funkhouser: Why do you pee sitting down?
- Larry David: Many reasons.
- Marty Funkhouser: You crap standing up?
- Jeff Greene: What happened to you?
- Larry David: I fell in the toilet.
- Jeff Greene: How did you fall in the toilet?
- Larry David: I went to go pee and the seat was up.
- Jeff Greene: What does that have to do with you?
- Larry David: I pee sitting down.
- Jeff Greene: You pee sitting *down*?
- Larry David: Yeah! Have you ever tried it?
- Jeff Greene: No!
- Larry David: It's more comfortable. When you get up during the night you don't have to turn the light on and wake up. And you get to read.
- Jeff Greene: [incredulously] What are you reading?
- Larry David: I'm reading a lot of stuff.
- Jeff Greene: What stuff?
- Larry David: If I pee 20 times during a day, I can get through the whole New York Times for God's sake!
- Jeff Greene: 20 times?
- Larry David: Yeah! Hey buddy, while you're peeing all over your shoe, I'm learning something!