Les Real Housewives: Orange County

This is the worst reality show ever, because it is not reality, but a somewhat planned/scripted insult to the intelligence of the viewer. The people on this show are either actors (Jo/Slade) trying to get to the big screen without any talent or other wannabes who forgot that they have skeletons in their closet which inevitably would come out. No one actually is ever shown living normally and the participants seem to have their friends come onto the show just to get them air time. Notice, if you can bear to watch, the unemotional face of Lauri, who is so Botoxed/surgeried to show any type of reaction to anything. Notice the children who are abused over and over again. (Where is CPS??) But then these are wealthy families who want to be envied and are beyond rules and the law. (We're rich; we don't have to be good) Everything is so planned and semi-scripted that calling this reality TV is a joke to the viewer whose IQ is above 10. Don't waste your time.

I tried to like this show. This is supposed to be about five women living in Coto de Caza, an exclusive community near Mission Viejo,CA. Jeana, Kimberly, Vicki, Lauri and Jo.

Lauri is divorced, has three children and cannot figure out why her two oldest children have no sense. Lauri goes to juvenile court (son Josh is in trouble) looking like she's about to hit a bar. Lauri once lived in Coto and now she is out of the net living on the perimeter. Lauri seems pathetic to me. Her daughter Ashley is a ding dong and is apathetic. Josh seemed to exude almost a sad persona. His life isn't great and trouble follows him everywhere. Even so, you feel sympathy for him. No air time was given to the youngest child. Lauri has a penchant for hooking up with losers and doesn't grasp that this behavior has an adverse affect on her children.

Jo, from Peru (she speaks with no accent and is very California girl)is engaged to Slade. He has children from previous relationships and Jo just doesn't want to be a mother yet. She likes to drink and party which is a bone of contention between her and Slade. You know from the beginning that Jo has no business being anyone's fiancée at this point in her life. Jo is twenty-four and Slade somewhere in his thirties. Slade wants things a certain way and Jo cannot conform herself to be a housewife and mother. There is a put-up flirt scene between her and Jeana's son in one episode when he comes over to shoot bunnies out of Jo's flower beds. Slade walks in and quickly goes into caveman mode. You know that something is wrong with this picture. People who love each other don't act this way. Credibility of this couple went out the window in this episode.

Jeana and Kimberly are the true real housewives. They love their families dearly and even though I was disappointed in one scene where Kimberly and her friends are having a luncheon and one of her "friends" makes a derogatory remark about flirting with Puerto Ricans or considering them a step above other undesirables was, very off putting. I would have loved Jo to have been there because I'm sure that statement would not have been uttered. Kimberly and her husband are a nice couple with children. They have good children. The only cloud in the sunny picture is that Kimberly keeps getting melanomas. She has survived and doesn't want to leave her children and husband because "no one will love them as much as I do".

Jeana, former Playboy Playmate is now a middle aged wife and mother of three. Jeana is very likable and I would have liked for the show to have been about her and her family. Jeana works hard, loves her family. The only cloud here is the strange behavior of her husband Matt. He was injured in his baseball days and seems to wander in and out of scenes. Son Shane is trying to keep the Keough name firmly in baseball. Not much on this family other than the barbecue scene Jeana hosts for the neighbors and she and son Shane figure Slade and Jo's relationship dynamics out.

Vicki is the least likable. She is frenetic, and very A.D.D. She is into every aspect of her family's life. She is successful in the insurance business and Lauri works for her. She is a self described M.I.L.F. (as none of her son's friends ever mention the fact that they think that she is) and brags that she tries to keep her self fit. Vicki has a son and daughter. Her son doesn't seem to know the value of earning a dollar. Daughter Briana on the other hand, seems to have her head together. At least her mother taught her to be self sufficient.

The problem with this show is that even though these privileged people live in Coto, their houses look just like any other ordinary house in any city's upscale neighborhood. In one scene, when Jo and Slade break up, the cameras zoom in on Jo's canary yellow diamond engagement ring sitting in a large square box from Tiffany. Are they trying to suggest that the ring came from Tiffany? That box is just like the one where my Tiffany heart tag bracelet came in. Notice that Jo is wearing hers in the episode where she gets a job. Another scene of just plain manipulation of the show, is when Kimberly and her husband go shopping for another car. They show us a price tag of a vehicle that costs $152,000.00. They buy a Lexus but the price of that is never shown because hey...normal people can afford that too. I also disliked the flirt scene between Shane and Jo. That was just not needed and had no merit.

Jeana and Jo need to get themselves to a hair dresser and get their hair styled and updated. Kimberly, Vicki and Lauri need to get to a professional colorist and get their hair done in a natural shade of blond. Seems to me if you live in Coto, you should attempt to look and dress like you have money. I think that Lauri dresses like she's in her early twenties and her bosoms are always exposed. She is a sad commentary on an older woman trying to look younger. I do have to say that I hope that I can look half as good as Kimberly does in her tennis skirt when I'm her age.

All in all, I think this show could have been much better had it focused on Jeana, Kimberly and Lauri. These three had potential in having their home situations become more acceptable by a sympathetic viewing audience. You just can't muster up enough tears for Jo and Vicki's lives. They leave you cold.

Once I'd seen the trailers for the show I knew it would be hard to watch and hard not to!

As for the complete reality of the show - which is like the other shows, doubtful - I can only draw a distinction in themes: in reality TV, the " little guy'" is pitted against an adversary larger than life, the message being that the little guy can win against the odds, that we are all, in some ways, heroes. This show gives the opposite message: that we are all victims of forces beyond our control. The show is bittersweet because these women, their communities, their families, are incapable of rising above the clichés and traps of too much cash, too much free time...and too much high hair!!

It is hard to stomach so much tackiness without a trace of irony or humor ( Footballer's Wives deals with the same kind of characters, but better). These women are deadly dull, and marriage looks less like a sacred institution worth protecting, and more like a form of prostitution! Thank god for the gates which keep them inside, an effective quarantine for the rest of us. I chuckled when I heard one of these dames complain about downgrading to a 2500 sq. ft home!

But as I considered it- or tried to consider it seriously - I decided that for women such as these that would be a calamity, which is disgusting if it weren't so pathetic. Conspicous consumption? how about contemptuous consumption! And where is CPS? Shouldn't they be alerted to the abused children in these gilded cages? But all this said I do think the show should be watched if only for its shock value: evidently hair hoppers and 80's has been skeezers do win out, even if no one else does. I hope this show does not see broadcast outside of America. We don't need another 5 reasons for the world to despise us

Theme 1: Extreme materialism is normal.

Theme 2: Wanting something for nothing.

Theme 3: Wanting something in exchange for something other than hard work.

Theme 4: "We have morals."

Theme 5: "I behave like X, but tell my children not to behave like X."

Theme 6: I work hard, so I deserve to play hard.

Theme 7: Knowledge is valuable if it helps you make money.

Theme 8: Wealth = achievement.

Theme 9: My family means everything to me--10 minutes a week.

Theme 10: Responsibility is cultivated through having something, not through doing something.

I didn't expect much from this alleged program - and when looking at it, not only was I right on - it was worse. Besides Desperate Housewives, this is one of THE worst shows for women...and men.

Maybe this is playing well in some part of the United States and the World that finds this a guilty pleasure. Let me get one thing straight: The shows 'Dallas' and 'Dynasty' are a guilty pleasures - this is just plain sad.

I guess this is a program to show you what happens when little girls who have no exemplary role models in their lives except for plastic dolls like "Barbie" grow up and have to maintain a job and/or household. This actually takes place is a crappy suburb that tries desperately to raise itself up to be like Beverly Hills, Chicago, The Hamptons and Miami .. but does nothing but make you wish that a big wave would come and wipe the whole County out so it could start all over again.

These children's lives are sad and meaningless. The households are gutless. The women are very competitive with jewelery, fake boobs, shrieking "Bride of Frankenstein" voices, and dried out leathery skin that even makes George Hamilton blush. It's like watching the "walking dead" trying to stay alive by any means necessary - and that means finding "Ken dolls" with the appearance of lots of money.

And the men...for goodness sake, who would WANT these self-centered whiners? These women are falling all over them because of..THE MONEY! And the men are perfectly fine with that. What a trophy!! I was waiting for a few of the guys in the series to bronze the women they have and stick them on the dashboard of their leased cars! But they wont do that because that means they'll have to KEEP them. These are men that would trade their women in quicker than their coveted cars once their butt starts to sag.

Oh, but the children connected with these 'super-elastic bubble plastic' families. God help them. They may just go back to Orange county and wait until the next generation of vacuous self-designed "Barbies" or "Kens" come along that they can manipulate and support.

It's Orange County, for goodness sake. Orange County is a nice place, a great place, many kids grow up there just fine. All the folks in this series are picked are squeezed (forgive the puns) into a "certain section" for entertainment value only.

Be forewarned: This show will show you the incredibly debt ridden existence of pretentiousness. My guess after watching this show: These folks are lower middle to Middle-Middle class trying to show an Upper-Upper Class existence. Posers.

Nothing but a show about whiny posers who think life is much better because they can now charge their boob jobs instead of being seen buying Jacqueline Smith fashions from K-Mart.