The Substitute

There are no scary scenes in this film and only one pseudo-startling "large marge" reveal. The R rating is only because the kids swear a lot. That's it. Seriously. This film is about as scary as the average Goosebumps episode - only its three times as long and its predominately shot with a blue filter.

I think its obvious that in Denmark (where the film originated) one can not show the amount of violence that films can show in the USA. So the filmmakers attempt to create intensity by implying dread... which it completely fails at. We learn in the first minute where the creature's origin is, so there's never any real intensity. The creature's goals and abilities are poorly defined so we have no idea why scenes are unfolding in the way they are and not according to how they unfolded in previous scenes. Its just a mess.

Its like salsa that's too mild to be considered anything but a letdown.

One of the best surprises I had in early 2008, when one professor brought to the film school where I work one of those "for your consideration" copies for some kind of national academy award. It was "Vikaren", a very funny, original and sometimes scary science-fiction comedy, in which an ugly alien who comes from a planet where love is unknown, assumes the figure of an attractive teacher to replace the one who, in a Danish school, has to prepare 6th grade students for a competition in Paris. If you can, do not miss this version (my favorite sequence is the first day she confronts the class!), since Hollywood has already bought the rights for a 2011 remake loaded with special effects --and although we have to give them the chance to prove they can improve something already good, you will lose watching Paprika Steen doing the real thing in Danish. It is a pity Marco Beltrami's score has not been released on any format, it is very good, and his fans consider it one of his best.

One might be ready to believe a film about Middle School children to be a Ghost House movie. But, this isn't about Middle School children, it is about the substitute teacher in the 6th grade class.

The students know right away that something isn't right, but it isn't until later that they discover just what is wrong. Of course, their parents don't believe them, and it is up to the kids, one in particular, Carl (Jonas Wandschneider), to save the others. Of course, Carl is the least likely student to save the day as he lost his mother in a car accident and has not gotten past it.

The film has first rate acting by Paprika Steen as the substitute teacher, outstanding cinematography, lots of black humor, a slam on psychology and parents who don't trust in their children, and some really fascinating special effects.

I am really impressed with Ole Bornedal, who wrote and directed this film and look forward to his new films.

This movie is a bet. A bet that is insanely strange. Henrik Prip has written the script together with the director Ole Bornedal, and they must have smoked a huge bean, because this film is insanely strange.

It's always exciting with a bet, respect for it, and the film is not completely lost behind a wagon either, but it does not always fully understand whether it is a horror, or a youth film, so it sits a little awkwardly between two chairs.

It's also insanely strangely shot. I'm not a big fan of that.

However, it is an honorable performance by Paprika Steen who manages to maneuver between all the emotional registers, both when it has to be fake and genuine. But an insanely weird movie.

If this would have been an American movie, the monster would have been silly, the parents understandable in their gullibility and the kids more concerned with their social standing. Also, anything scary would have probably been removed and the film would have been a Disney production.

Well, they do things differently in Denmark, so they have some smart kids, with a complex relationship dynamic, completely ignorant parents that only believe what suits them best (especially when it comes to their children fantasies) and the monster is both fairly benign, totally scary and absolutely alien.

The film is thus suitable for both parents and children, although I would call it more a family film with horrorish specks, and even if the whole "planet without love" thing was too corny and not very related to the rest of the film, the movie is watchable and enjoyable. At least I liked it.