Creepshow 3

Stay away from this DVD as if it were the black sludge in Creepshow 2. I'm an avid fan of the first film, and I have a soft-spot in my heart for the second one (I watched these movies repetitively as a teen). The first two movies even prompted me to read the EC horror comics they were modeled after: Haunt of Fear, Tales From the Crypt, and The Vault of Horror.

The charms of 1 & 2 were their great stories and comic-book-style format (pages turning between stories, comic panels transforming to live-action, etc.). Creepshow III has NONE of these elements. WARNING: This is a Creepshow release by TITLE ONLY. The film truly resembled the quality one would expect form a YouTube indie film produced by a high school student: Horrid acting, a total of TWO shooting locations (a cluster of houses and an apartment building), and stories that either made no sense or went nowhere.

It was a real shame, as I looked forward to the release of this film. You've been warned!

Jim Dudelson and Anna Clavel, are pure film-making morons. They have trashed some fine franchises, (Day of the Dead, and Creepshow) Jim doesn't care, Anna is deluded and thinks she is a genius. They slapped the film together in less than 20 days with no name talent and put the Creepshow Name on it, expecting fans to just eat it. Truly, it is just a quick money grab for Jim. Since the original Creepshow and Day of the Dead are owned by Jim's family, he really must hate his family, cause those franchises are worth a lot less now... Don't buy Creepshow III, don't rent it. If you do and watch it, you'll hate yourself. Creepshow III was made by filmmakers who hate horror films and just want your money.

I have watched some dire "horror" movies out of boredom but this is probably the single worst film I've possibly seen. It starts promisingly enough but soon disintegrates into a dire rambling series of stories that not only are badly acted and plotted but make no sense. There is an attempt to link the whole thing together but again it's just nonsense. I stuck with it hoping some over-reaching arc would tie the thing together and make me nod knowingly in an ironic sense. But nothing redeems this truly awful movie. If I didn't know different I'd assume this was made more than 20 years ago with the porn film soundtrack and what little effects there are add nothing to this waste of an hour and a half.

I loved the first Creepshow, I accepted the second Creepshow, but I truly detested the third. The first two had intriguing stories and decent acting. The third, had stories that were below par and lame acting. The stories were in no way keeping with the first two movies, and gore, there wasn't enough to keep me even a little interested. The second Creepshow had only three stories, but they were decent. Well written, and pretty good acting. The third, however, feels as though a group of teenagers got together and wrote the stories, and then invited their friends to act for them. Instead of renting the third Creepshow, just rent the original and enjoy.

By the way, when I found out that the guys who co wrote Day of the Dead 2: Contagium were involved in making this movie, I finally understood why it was so bad.

This is easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen to this point in my life. It isn't scary, it isn't funny, it isn't even trying to be good. It is an annoying film and to use the Creepshow name should insult fans of the original films. But anyways, here are the stories:

Alice - Every time a man uses a new remote control, his daughter Alice turns into some slimy, pimply, oozing mess. Eventually she becomes a rabbit. Makes absolutely no sense and is horribly put together.

The Radio - A man buys a radio from a homeless guy and starts to hear voices coming from it telling it to steal some money and kill anyone who threatens him. Better than 'Alice', but drags on way too much.

Call Girl - A prostitute/serial killer gets more than she bargained for when she gets set to claim her next victim. This might be the best of the whole bunch, interesting twist.

The Professor's Wife - Two former students murder the professor's fiancé thinking she is a robot. Silly and pointless, but is better than the first two.

Haunted Dog - Some rude doctor gives a homeless man a hotdog that he picked off the ground. The homeless man chokes on it (I think) and dies. He then haunts the doctor until he dies. I got a few laughs from the miserable doctor played by Kris Allen, best actor in Creepshow III. Nothing special though.

And that's it. Pretty bad movie overall. What annoys me is that throughout each story when something strange or illogical happens, the characters don't react. For example when the radio starts speaking to the character, he sort of shrugs it off and starts speaking back to it like it's something normal. None of the stories make a lot of sense, and add nothing to this nothing of a horror movie.

2/10