Hood of Horror

Yes it is a hip hop version of Tales from the Crypt, with Snoop Dogg as the Crypt ... I mean the story teller! You'll get treated to three different stories here. And they are surprisingly good ... or at least they don't really suck!

There are the gross ideas here and there and the clichés have to be used (it seems), but you'll get a lot of familiar faces (Danny Trejo and others), that do support the small stories/plots. It's good fun, the effects are decent, the acting is OK for horror, but it's not top notch. And the intermissions, are not that good, I would even say they do divert too much! That means the crypt keeper can rest ... in peace actually ;o)

This film contains three interwoven tales from the hood, with Snoop Dogg (sometimes as an animated gangster and sometimes as a man in hell) narrating between segments. I use interwoven in the loosest sense because they really seem to have connection at all. I will discuss each one briefly.

The first segment was about a woman named Posey who is granted satanic powers by a homeless man (Danny Trejo) and can kill rival gang members by simply crossing out their spray tags. It's really stupid. The plot is weak, Posey's acting is awful. Even Trejo and Billy Dee Williams cannot save this one. There is a great death scene involving a beer bottle, but that doesn't make up for the rest of this segment.

The second segment was actually really good. A redneck and his girlfriend move into a home for retired veterans, with one of them, Roscoe, being played by Ernie Hudson. Hudson is great, as is the rich redneck. The deaths here are weaker (other than the explosion scene) but the plot is much better -- this was written as a real story and not just a throw-away idea. In fact, it could have been its own movie or at least an episode of "Masters of Horror". If you only watch this part, you might find the movie watchable.

The third part was just foolish. Because these are tales from the hood, of course they took the stereotype route and one man escapes the hood by rapping. But he becomes haunted by his friends that he left behind to die. Some of the makeup here is pretty disgusting, which I mean in a nice way, but the overall story is just an excuse to show a guy in the studio rapping. If you already have Snoop Dogg in your cast list ,you don't need to add another man rapping.

I suppose the problem of the film as a whole is that it was written and directed by different people in different segments. Compare this to "Creepshow", which is a lot more consistent. The best part -- part two -- was written by Tim Sullivan, the man behind "2001 Maniacs". It shows. I may not have been the biggest fan of that film, but Sullivan knows how to tell a story that horror fans appreciate (and he has some weird obsession with Confederate sympathizers). The other writers? I have no idea who they are.

Other reviewers have called this film the "Hood of Horrible", and I want to jump on that bandwagon. It wasn't well made, it was poorly written for the most part, and although even some of the worst films can still be enjoyable, this one just wasn't. The odds of me seeing this a second time are pretty slim. If you get the chance to see it the first time, pass up on it and watch James Franco's "The Ape" instead.

Almost all the jokes can be seen as problematic these days. The "gore" was comical at best but annoying at worst... which was most of the time. The soundtrack was almost exclusively Snoop. The special effects look like something out of Birdemic. But hey, it's a Snoop horror movie. No durr it's gonna be this self-awareness circlejerk.

Now, I don't want to say this is the worst movie ever, but it's pretty bad. If it weren't for a couple redeeming qualities, this movie would be at the very bottom of the barrel.

First of all, if the production value weren't so good, it wouldn't have even received the one showing it did. The production value is top notch. If it didn't involve Snoop Dogg, Danny Trejo, Jason Alexander, and a handful of other cool B-stars, then this movie wouldn't even be heard of. But it does. There is also one death that I didn't see coming. The others are terribly executed, no pun intended.

The opening sequence, while cool looking, is ages too long. Snoop is his usual double g self. "Keepin it real," as it were. Some of the acting is down right laughable, namely Posie. And at times the director chooses to use clichéd camera tricks for seemingly no reason, other than to disorient you in a scareless horror flick.

Intentional laughs, none. Scares, none. Smile worthy cheesy moments, a couple.

Was it worth paying to see in the theatres? No. Is is worth paying for to rent? No. But is it worth getting your favorite style of intoxicated and watching it with a group of friends? Almost.

Now first things first, I love Snoop as a Rap artist but mostly his album "Doggystyle" is the quintessential rap album. Now this movie is terrible in so many ways. The acting is some of the worst I have ever seen. The directing was worse than a soap opera, and the stories are pointless and boring. I can see why this went Direct-to-DVD, because it is that bad. This reminds me of a poor mans "Tales from the Hood." There is nothing even mildly entertaining about this garbage either! I don't know why Snoop continues to try and act and produce movies that couldn't be shown on the Sci-Fi channel at Midnight! How this got made is beyond me. Please whatever you do, don't waste your time on this absolute garbage. I would recommend you try watching the above mentioned "Tales from the Hood" which is ten times more entertaining than this, and even that isn't that great, but it makes that look like a masterpiece.