- [first title card]
- Title Card: No toddlers were injured in the making of this movie.
- [first lines]
- Announcer: [voice-over] The following movie has been rated "Horny Fourteen." Pregnant women and men who already have an erection at this point in the film should leave the theater now.
- [last lines]
- Narrator: And so the monster lives to breath and feel, to kill. But do not fear the truth. Just seek within. The heart holds keys to free from sin. For love, true love, will always win.